THIS IS BETA TEAM 4, WE'RE TAKING HEAVY DAMAGE FROM NORMIE

THIS IS NEET TEAM BETA, WE HAVE A RAGIE ON THE LOOSE
I REPEAT
RAGIE WAGIE ON THE LOOSE
>RAGIE WAGIE ON THE LOOSE

*grabs mic from dead operator*
uhm, what is going on, what to do?

>>38329585
THIS IS COMMANDER RUPERT, CALL FOR BACK UP AND DESTROY THE NORMIE VILLAGE

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>>38329629
I'm civilian. I need more instructions

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>>38328526
COPY THAT BETA TEAM 4

AUXILIARY ANIMAL REINFORCEMENTS INBOUND

>>38329676
Go into your shelter, grab any gun you can findif you want to fight ?

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>>38328526
STACY SITED
I REPEAT STACY HAS BEEN SITED
WE ARE JUST GETTING VISUAL CONFIRMATION
IMMEDIATE BACK UP IS REQUIRED

>>38329744
Roger, send fighter jets to your location

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This is Neet Team 6, we're pinned down by a squadron of Chads and have suffered extreme casualties. Our ammo is rapidly depleting. I'm requesting immediate back up. I repeat, requesting immediate back up!

>>38329879
Sending landships to your loct-*BOOM* OH SHIT OH FU-*Static* REEEEEEE, TAKE TH-*Gunshots*

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>>38329879
KEK Brigade here, bout to drop some Tyrones up in there, I repeat evacuate the area, EVACUATE the area.

>>38329731
y-yea... I mean...
YES I WANT. WHAT;S THE ORDERS?

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I BELIVE I AM THE LAST SURVIVING SOLDIER OF FEEL TEAM 6 ZACH HAD A MENTAL BREAKDOWN AFTER BEING MOCKED MY STACYS IM PINNED DOWN BY AND UBER CHAD REQUESTING BACKUP FROM ANYONE
...and if i dont make it,tell my ona hole i love her,and please bury me in tendies

>>38330044
Dubs code confirmed! Sending what little backup we have your way! Good luck soldier!

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>chads found the cum cannon

ABORT ABORT WE HAVE TO GET OUT BEFORE THEY--

*SPLOOOOOOOOGE*

ITS IN MY EYES!!! THEYRE MELTING!!!! ELLIOT PLEASE SAVE ME!!!

>>38330042
//THIS IS NOT A TEST, ALL CIVILANS MUST GRAB A GUN, A GAS MASK AND EQUIPMENT TO TAKE, GO TO FEELS HOSPITAL IN NEET CITY, ENEMY FORCES MAY BE IN THE CITY, BE AWARE OF YOUR SURRONDINGS//

>>38328526
>>38328561
>>38329585
>>38329629
>>38329676
>>38329709
>>38329731
>>38329744
>>38329806
>>38329879
>>38329919
>>38329992
>>38330042
>>38330044
>>38330086
>>38330097
>Comms being knocked left and right.
>Teams going dark.
>Map blinking red here and there.
>I look around an empty Intel room.
>Tfw come to the realization that we have lost.
>A single gunshot echoes from the Intel room.

Hey, what's this?
>touches button
>Feelium releases into the air
>break down on the floor and start crying
I'm not going to make it lads, I'm a fucking loser!

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>>38330190
>>38330194
WE CANT GIVE UP

SEND OUT THE MECHA SQUADRON

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ALL UNITS, THIS IS LIEUTENANT ZAKHAR, COMMANDER RUPERT IS K.I.A, I REPEAT, RUPERT IS K.I.A, GOING TO NEAREST BETA MILLITARY BASE IN NEET CITY

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Retreat stay strong and....think of your waifus

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THE CHIVALRY IS ON BOUND, 45TH PAREEETROOPERS CORPS INCOMING WITH AIR SUPPORT FROM THE REEE AIR FORCE. REPEAT, REINFORCEMENTS ARE COMING IN, RESIST AND PREPARE FOR THE COUNTERATTACK! WE WILL WIN THIS ENGAGEMENT!

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This is Zakhar, I have seen our tanks being stolen by normie forces, any jets, take out the normies and rescue the tanks

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Hello---
yes hellooo---- feelwaffe here just back form recon.
it appears Tyrone has subdued the squadron of chads and is now battling it out with Stacy.
sending Visual.

>>38330344
Dubs code received! Roger, jets being redirected to your position. God speed jet NEETs

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>>38330190
THE WIZARD BRIGADE IS INCOMING CODE BLACK

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Theres one last chance
Get the nuke to air fore REEE
and drop it on chadville
God speed you beautiful beta

>>38330344
COPY, GREEN FOG 1 ENGAGING! LET'S TAKE FEELDESIA BACK!

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>>38328526
Sarge wojak reporting for duty.

>>38330386
We needs dubs to confirm the order, how many civilians and soldiers ?

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SNIPER FIRE
EVERYONE GET D

JAGGLER TO WOJAK DELTA, HEAVY FEELS ARTILLERY INBOUND FROM NORTHWEST QUADRANT, RETREAT TO BASEMENT LEVEL 5 ON THE DOUBLE

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god I'm having ace combat flashbacks with this thread. godspeed y'all
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhdNjzX4waA

"Beta Charlie this is khv 1, frog Green is now open"

>>38330446
THIS IS OVERFROG 1, WE ARE SENDING BACKUP TO YOUR LOCTION

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Wojack 2 reporting in. Look at that mess down there ... let's help them out boys! And careful with the blue on blue.

WE NEED BACKUP HERE! WE'RE GETTING PINNED HARD! I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE WE CAN TA-....
...D-DEAR GOD.... IT'S...... THE ROAST

MAY ELLIOT HAVE MERCY ON OUR SOULS

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NORMIE ARTILLERY WONT CEASE... IM NOT GOING TO MAKE IT....

I can't believe it... I'm a beta bitch even in the end...

No....

NO!

I WONT GO DOWN LIKE THIS!!!

HYPER MODO ENGAGED!!!!!

DIE NORMIE SCUM!!! GAHAHAHAHAHA!!! DIE! DIE! DIE!!!

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>>38330429
All chads will be wiped out but well loose 200-400 stacys


>Whats the point of a beta uprising if you cant fuck stacys after the war

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w-where am I? what's going on? ...
WHERE'S OUR CAPTAIN? WE NEED EVAC ON POINT TFW COORDINATES 154 696 ASAP. OUR GUYS ARE BEING TORN TO SHREDS! I WANNA GO HOMEEEEEEEE

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Fjodor Wojackovich reporting for duty,sir

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>>38330560
eh
to go down in an heroic manner
ain't that bad.
I'LL COVER YOUR SIX, ENGAGE AND FIRE AT WILL

>>38330561
But the Stacys may have STDs ! We have to nuke it, forget the dubs order, sending bomber, alert all nearby squads to get away from Chadville

>>38330533
dubs confirmed
CANT DODGE THE RODGE

THIS IS FEEL TEAM BRAVO

(WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING, AHH) *heard in the background*

WE WERE FACING OFF WITH THE, AHH, WITH THE VARSITY FOOTBALL TEAM

THEN ***THEY*** (WHAT ARE THEY) BEGAN TO CRAWL OUT OF A CRACK IN THE GROUND AND BEGAN ATTACKING US BOTH

THE WAGIES ARE RAGIE
REPEAT
THE WAGIES
ARE
RA--
>comm goes silent

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>>38330259
DEPLOY METAL GEAR REX
>inb4 sahelanthropus is better

>>38330709
by kek... they must be fighting fully matured roasties

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THOS IS SPECIAL FORCES K.E.K. I REPEAT, WE HAVE VISUAL ON THE NORMIES, WE ARE APPROACHING THE WEST SIDE OF THE BA-
OH GOD WHAT'S HPPENING? WE'RE SEROOUNDED I REPEAT, WE ARE TRAPPED IN THE WEST SIDE OF THE BASE.
god they're everywhere
PLAN B, I'M GOING TO BLOW UP THIS PLACE WITH OUR WEAPONISED AUTISM BOMB. I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE!
TELL MY WAIFU I LOVE H---------

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Moral support inbound

All squads evacuate chadville nuke inbound

This is the closest well ever come to alpha suck it up boys may the supreme gentleman bless us in the after life

Wojack squad No. G.F. arriving in the theater. Point us to the normie sum commander, the boys are itching to fight.

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>>38330656
METAL GEAR REX READY TO FIRE NUKE

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WE MAY NOT HELP MUCH, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU NEED AS MUCH HELO AS POSSIBLE

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>>38330656
I'm dropping the nuke, let's see Chad bones in the pavement

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REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
THE ROASTIES ARE SQUIRTING ACID

Kind of sad how you guys have to rp since you'd get knocked out cold by Chad IRL

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>>38330643
It'd be an honor to die by your side, soldier... but I'm not risking any more lives, I can handle the rest... GO! Escort our people to safety while the nuke is beginning to be deployed!

Huff... huff.... Let's dance, normies....

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>38328526
>betas
>r9k
>robots
>fighting back
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA

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SECTOR CLEAR, MOVE UP!

>>38331754
I tried fighting back once
I was emergency expelled and got a felony

>>38331615
>>38331754
ATTENTION ALL ROBOTS: IGNORE THESE POSTERS THEY ARE NORMIE PSY-OPS TRYING TO DISHEARTEN US

REMEMBER: PEE PEE POO POO

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>>38331938
its proof the chads be keeping us down

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>>38331938
>white flash
>ringing in ear
>*muffled in the distance under the ringing*
>PEE
>PEE
>POO
>POO
>PEE
>PEE
POO

The world flashes back to my view and I jolt up, grabbing my dildo cannon and video game collection backpack. Chad splooge and roastie vag juice are bubbling in canyons all around me, there are few survivors.

>GRAB THE LADDER
I look up and a heli is above head. I grab hold, whipping in the wind a half mile above the battle which still sputters on. In this war, no one wins.

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BETA TEAM DARK WE INFILTRATED THEIR HQ
PROCEEDING TO PLAN KILL ALHPA
W-WAIT F-FEMANON WHAT ARE YOU DOING THEY'LL SEE US! STO-

LAST UNIT OF SQUADRON FROGGER 9, GATHERING TYRONETOWN INTEL. IT LOOKS LIKE-
>anon what are you doing? get out of your cave for a bit and come downstairs. we want to
*POP POP BANG*
HELLO? ROASTIE DOWN. IN TYRONE TOWN IT LOOKS LIKE THEY HAVE SET UP CAMP IN POPEYES, SEND A PISSBOTTLE MISSILE

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SHIT! We got us a giga nigga in sector 6! Nuke the whole sector, I dont care how many neet soldiers are here just do it!

>>38332660
Sending nuke, thank you for your service to this board

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DELTA SQUADRON REPORTING IN, DO WE HAVE EYES ON THE ENEMY?
OVER

I am from the Department of Memetics. May these dubs bring us favor in battle.

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>>38330416

I've got six tangos in the AO, sarge. Five numales orbiting a Stacey. I've got them on sight. Waiting on your command.

OVER.

>>38333679
You've got the go ahead private to engage. We are currently positioned over niglet hill taking immediate fire from dindus in bait threads. The sooner you get here the better.

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Here beta team 543 We need Air support on sector 445-43.
Repeat WE NEED AIR SUPPORT ON SECTOR 445-43.

They're destroying us! PLEASE

>>38333801

The tangos have been neutralized. I am 10 klicks away from your position. It might be a longer wait than expected. The Stacey's uglier female normie friends have been alerted.

I need to get out of here. KEEP ME UPDATED. I've got you on radio.

OVER.

>>38329992
No...not the father of all tyrones

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Jesus Christ this thread makes me hyped to experience upcoming beta uprising.

>rubbing our noses in bloody battlefield dirt, all for revenge

We are about to ambush a group of normies having a party.

Alright on 3. Wait, what's that sound? OH ITS AN AMBU-

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I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS ANYMORE! We're losing everyone! EVERYONE! My NEET buddy just fucking killed himself! They made him get a job, it was that FUCKING handshake bullshit again! I WANNA GO HOME!!

I didn't want it to end this way...
Tomoko, I'm so sorry.
*Ripping flesh*
POOO POOOO PEEEE PEEEE

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>>38335253
ROBOT, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER! FIGHT IN HIS HONOR! HE DIED FOR THE CAUSE! WHEN THIS IS OVER, YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO HAMDSHAKE AGAIN!