>every problem you have has numerous books, articles, videos,

>>38324574
What if you're just straight fucking ugly, and mentally unstable?

>>38324574
>this is what normies actually originally believe

>>38324574
I'm not wallowing in anything. The way my life is is my choice, and since I chose it it must be what I want.

>>38324603
You can fix that and/or work around it.

>>38324574
how can I learn to deal with modern hookup culture

how can I learn to deal with a girl's past full of casual sex and hedonistic indulging

You mean like reading and subscribing to the red pill?

>>38324624
You didn't fucking read what I said, did you?

>>38324574
There is a lot of information out there, but there are still the laws of physics to contend with. Moreover you're massively overstating the actual conclusive research that's been done. In essence, you're the kind of fucking idiot who probably spreads misinformation you barely understand all over this site.

some people think "what works for other people won't work for me because there is something fundamentally wrong with me"

other people think "i'm such a terrible person at my core, that even if i could do the things to succeed in life, I don't deserve to have that success"

other people think "in order to be happy i must sacrifice who i am to a system that demands conformity and made me miserable in this world to begin with. I mustn't feed that system with my soul."

>>38324574
>physically attractive
No, this one you cant change and its why I will always be alone. My face is hideous and surgery wont change my awful genetics.

>>38324574
I can't find any research on how to stop feeling low naturally

>>38324574
you're right, fuck being alone and miserable, time to change

just tell me which books do i need to read to become 6'2''?

>>38324635
>how can I learn to deal with modern hookup culture
What's to deal with?

>how can I learn to deal with a girl's past full of casual sex and hedonistic indulging
If it were me, I would acknowledge that because of my regular self-improvement I am effectively superior to anyone else she was with previously or could meet in the future, leaving me with no reasons to feel insecure. Not that it really matters much, anyway.

>>38324654
I did, though, what's wrong?

>>38324672
I've made some vague general statements about self transformation. What misinformation have I spread?

>>38324624
no you can't, I will NEVER date an ugly chick and there's nothing she can do about it. Surgery is disgusting too.

>>38324724
jus b ursalf

>>38324682
the first bunch could have a point

the second two need a punch in the face to ground them back into reality

>>38324686
Step one, make money. Step two, give money to doctors to fix face. Step three, you're attractive now, congrats. Step four, you're even more attractive now because of all that money you have.

>>38324710
Bruh how tall are you now?

>>38324574
>Make yourself social competent

HOW TEACH ME I DONT WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE

>>38324770
At step three you're already 40 years old with huge debt.
Congratulations, all your life was about conforming to social norm to appeal to other people instead of focusing on your own happiness.
And then you die miserable. Fucking useless piece of advice.

>>38324724
>I've made some vague general statements about self transformation. What misinformation have I spread?
You've already talked about making yourself physically attractive and changing your brain chemistry. In practical scope these things are malleable to a pretty limited degree. That's just scientific fact.

>>38324770
>Bruh how tall are you now?
im 5'5'' and yes, i know im screwed, don't rub it in, please

Jesus fucking tap-dancing christ, there's a book that cures OCD and bipolar disorder? Boy do I feel the fool. I guess regularly taking my meds and the years of therapy that still don't cure it were just a big ol waste of time! And I can get these books for cheap- where can I find this shit?

>>38324858
>bipolar disorder
how is this preventing you from getting women? women love assholes who treat them like garbage

>>38324724
>If it were me, I would acknowledge that because of my regular self-improvement I am effectively superior to anyone else she was with previously or could meet in the future, leaving me with no reasons to feel insecure. Not that it really matters much, anyway.
that sounds interesting. Could you direct me to some of the numerous books, articles, videos, essays etc. that deal with this topic though?
I thought about reading up about the sexual revolution. maybe read philip roth?

>>38324753
the first don't have an excuse. They need to try things continually until something sticks. Thinking nothing will work before trying anything is no reason to give up trying.

basically a combination of the first two points from here >>38324682

And yeah there's no book that will help me stop being a 5'4" manlet with a gross jewey looking face.

And I'm doubtful there are any resources that can change my shit boring personality. I don't even like video games or anime but nearly everything about me is painfully uninteresting. And the few things I do that some people might be able to see value in I no longer derive meaning from. Everytime I try to get out of this I just end up in the exact same place I started. It's all just hopeless and it has felt like that for a long time.

>>38324774
Well, it's a proven fact that one's cognitive architecture can be altered given time. Emulating a specific personality type for long enough will, literally, turn you into that personality type. Read some books on socialization with your specific goals in mind, force yourself to ingratiate those behaviors into your daily life, and eventually, you will become the person you're trying to be. Fake it till you make it, basically. You can start small, practice your social adaptations over VOIP with your online acquaintances before trying it out on people face to face.

>>38324810
Relax, bruh. It's a way to fix an objectively ugly face if you actually care about that. If you don't, which you don't seem to, then it's a non-issue.

>>38324819
You would be very surprised. There's a reason short people haven't been weeded out and that's because short genetics still manage to proliferate. Also short people build muscle mass much more easily. I think you could manage.

>>38324903
That specific topic? Not sure. That conclusion was something I just reached on my own. Read up on killing your ego, as I've found insecurity in a relationship often stems from attempting to protect a fragile ego. If you don't need to do that (either from not letting your ego influence you or improving yourself to the point that your ego can protect itself) then romantic relationships should be much easier.

>>38324891
Believe it or not, some people have problems that don't revolve around women

...plus I have other shit preventing me from getting in a normal relationship that I didn't want to even waste this thread's time with, but that's beside the point

>>38324574

Most issues people have are fundamentally existential ones at their cores. It's not as simply as get a job or 'be yourself'. Most people, here for instance, suffer from a lack of meaning in their lives, or from a lack of self understanding and realization.
Essentially, those issues can't be solved via reading a self-help book, video, or article. The owness is on the individual to derive both meaning and understanding from themselves, which is made more difficult the further one sinks into nihilistic tendencies.

>>38325018
so you're a whiny normie got it

now fuck off reeee

>>38324574
>just read a book bro lmao

>>38324980
>And yeah there's no book that will help me stop being a 5'4" manlet with a gross jewey looking face.
Any problem that can't be fixed can be compensated for.
>And I'm doubtful there are any resources that can change my shit boring personality.
That is actually one of the easier things to change.
>I don't even like video games or anime but nearly everything about me is painfully uninteresting.
Then do some interesting stuff. Read a book, get a hobby, take an improv class, there are ways.
>Everytime I try to get out of this I just end up in the exact same place I started. It's all just hopeless and it has felt like that for a long time.
What have you actually tried and why did it fail?

>>38325043
Human beings got to be the dominant species on the planet because we have been able to adapt to any environment and overcome any challenge we're presented with. You can change you fundamentally are with enough effort, and anyone who tells you otherwise is a lazy shit who simply wants others to feel miserable with. A lack of meaning is exactly the problem I want you people to solve. You feel a lack of meaning because you're convinced you can't actually achieve what you would ideally want and I'm trying to tell you not just that you can but the pursuit of such is what would give you meaning. Finding a passion or discipline and attempting to become the ultimate in it is what gives people their meaning.

I'm not talking about reading self help books with bullshit titles and smiling people in suits on the cover. I'm talking about finding something you want to dominate others that and advance yourself to the point of doing so. The hard part is starting, but once the ball is rolling it's near impossible to kill the momentum. Develop your meaning and let your meaning develop you.

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>>38325180
>Human beings got to be the dominant species on the planet because we have been able to adapt to any environment and overcome any challenge we're presented with
exactly, we overcame the woman challenge with monogamy and patriarchy, since we've abolished that, we are have thrown ourselves into the wild again, like hunting and gathering our own food instead of growing it or trading for it

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>>38324574
Believe it or not, some of the problems come from things they can't control.
Some were raped and abused as kids, some got into drugs, some just didn't have good parents.

It's not impossible, but it certainly is tough to look at yourself from that perspective in a way to not only find out what's wrong with you, but what you have to do to change it. Many people don't have that mentality. That drive. That sort of satisfaction you get from looking back at how things were a couple years ago and realizing how much you changed.

And then you have the PTSD riddled folks, and anyone that has something legitimately wrong with them who get grouped with people that don't have anything wrong with them, and just do it for attention on places like facebook and tumblr. It's frustrating to deal with something and be unable to reveal it due to bias

But more often than not, you see the people that suffered are more calm and composed. They're better at hiding it.

>>38325086
>Any problem that can't be fixed can be compensated for.
Sure, but its still a limiting factor and compensation can only go so far. Even if I wasn't a weird looking manlet I'd still be a mess in every other aspect of my life. It just adds on to the pile.
>That is actually one of the easier things to change.
Bullshit, and even if it were the whole prospect of that is bleak as fuck. So there is no fundamental constant to our sense of self and its just a completely malleable blob shaped largely by coincidence and circumstance. How the fuck is that supposed to be comforting? If we're nothing more than just blank slates that project some facade of self then why the fuck even bother? Just for hedonistic pleasure seeking? Cuz I'm not down with that either for what should be obvious reasons.
>Then do some interesting stuff. Read a book, get a hobby, take an improv class, there are ways.
I read a fair amount, but 1. very few people give a shit about the kind of literature I read (and why should they) and 2. I'm not even smart enough to have anything meaningful to contribute or say about it. It's more just a passive appreciation, which is a really pathetic way to appreciate literature.

My primary hobby is with music. I have a pretty extensive familiarity with boring folk influenced music that no one gives a shit about anymore. I play a few instruments and write and record songs, but again it still feels ultimately vacuous. I actually released an album recently and have had a few people online say nice things about, but that gives me literally no fulfillment. Regardless what anyone says it still feels like a pointless, self indulgent failure.
>What have you actually tried and why did it fail?
Literally just going out in public to do some menial task feels like a huge undertaking, and it always ends in failure. I'm basically just shit at acting like a normal person and everytime I put myself out there it backfires.

Sorry for the blogpost, but you asked.

>>38325430
>I want a woman
>But if I can't have curated women to pick from just for me why even bother
Sounds like you just don't want it enough. If you really did you'd find a way to get it despite disadvantages.

>>38325431
Some people do have it harder, yes, but only some. Most of the people here aren't that. Most of the people here were thoroughly coddled through development and were never made to develop their critical thinking and problem-solving abilities. They have an incredibly fragile ego that overtakes their lives. They want a woman who will remain loyal to them no questions asked, has no previous partners that they have to worry about measuring up to, and will be delivered on their doorstep. If they don't get this, they retreat to their online hugboxes and all complain to each other about how unfair the world is for not placating them.

Those are the people I'm talking to, the overgrown children.

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>>38325543
I completely misunderstood what you were talking about in the OP then
I feel stupid.

>>38325543
>Sounds like you just don't want it enough. If you really did you'd find a way to get it despite disadvantages.
i want it, it's just that it's unobtainable for me right now

i haven't had friends in over 5 years so my sexual market value, as redpil autists like to call it, has dropped to 0

i suppose it wouldn't be so bad if i was otherwise attractive, but considering i am a manlet too, i don't stand a chance

>>38325180
Nigga, I'm not saying improve one's self is impossible, I'm saying the opposite. Anyone can improve themselves, it just takes effort and the will to do so.You identified part of the problem yet you offered no solution for it outside of what amounts to the equivalent of 'git gud'.

I believe that all humans have a drive to transcend their own deaths, to effectively 'live on' after they die. People like Carl Jung explains that this leaves two options open to people. They can either become a heroic figure, an exceptional individual, who creates great works and achieves great things. Or they can group in with a culture and set of ideals in which they uphold and pass down to the next generation.

Very few people have the drive to be exceptional individuals, and fewer still have the actual capacity and ability to do so.

I'm not saying that people shouldn't strive to better themselves on an individual level, I'm simply disagreeing with your assertion that meaning can only be found via striving to be the pinnacle of human achievement.

>>38325509
>Sure, but its still a limiting factor and compensation can only go so far. Even if I wasn't a weird looking manlet I'd still be a mess in every other aspect of my life. It just adds on to the pile.
Fix what you can to overcome what you can't.
>So there is no fundamental constant to our sense of self and its just a completely malleable blob shaped largely by coincidence and circumstance. How the fuck is that supposed to be comforting?
Well fuck I know finding out you have some responsibility is scary for someone like you but try to sack up and accept it. I get it, something being unchangeable means you don't need to feel responsible to change it, but take comfort in the fact that something being reformable means you can reform it with purpose.
>My primary hobby is with music.
People fucking love musicians, what are you talking about?
>Literally just going out in public to do some menial task feels like a huge undertaking, and it always ends in failure.
So nothing? I asked specifically what you did and why it failed.

>>38324574
No person has ever been helped by a self-help book.

>>38324574
The material on how to solve various problems is either free or cheap, that's correct, however, the process itself is often expensive. Don't even start with "just get a job brah", many people (including me) work and struggle to make ends meet.
You assume that your "one size fits all" solutions will work for everyone. They won't, and you're not some genius who has enlightened us retards who don't have the same brain power as yours. Do you really think nobody else here has ever used a search engine? Fuck off.

>>38324574
stop using people here to boost your ego you're not helping nobody cares leave

>>38324574
this kind of bait is so boring

jeez

it's so boring
please think of something else
please stop copy pasting
you are boring

>>38325832
this

every single time these scumbag normies try to "help" i engage them with genuine questions and they stop responding after 2-3 posts

what they really want is for you to argue with them so that they can go "ugh see i try to help these losers but they just don't listen ugh"

I tried improving myself.
When I was a kid in school, I was a lardass. I thought well fuck, no one likes me because I'm a lardass, time to get thin.
So I got thin, but nothing really changed. Well, I thought, it's time to get friends. Too bad that I only happened to come across people that take some interest in you, and drop and betray you at the first chance they get. So that made me even more bitter.
Well, I thought, fuck them, I'll go full self improvement, when I'll be looking good and earning money, I'll be fine.
So I finished uni (which took longer than it should have due to various shit happening in my family), got a job, got reasonably fit, moved out, and now it's basically the same with 28 as it was in my early 20s. I have money and my own apartment, I look rather good, but I just end up being at a job that I don't really like for 25h a week (get a job, anon, that will fix your depression and shit!), getting home to an empty apartment, drinking, maybe playing some videogames and shitposting on 4chan.

Well fuck man, all that change has brought me to where I was before. But hey, at least I have money and look good, I should be happy!

>>38325823
>the process itself is often expensive.
???
>>38325832
>stop using people here to boost your ego
???
>>38325854
>please stop copy pasting
???

>>38325889
you are B O R I N G

stop wasting space on the board if you aren't going to try or do something unique

>>38325914
>stop wasting space on the board
lol what great thread got 404'd because of me? what great discussion did you miss out on?

>>38325931
>lol what great thread got 404'd because of me?
we may never know but I'm almost certain it was one of more worth than this one

I agree all my problems are solvable, except for the problem of having no discipline whatsoever. Everyone recommends starting small and building up good habits over time, but this doesn't work if you have no ability to stick to anything whatsoever, it's like planting a seed in barren ground. Believe me, I've tried. I'm incapable of self improvement.

>Americans with the retarded, "ya can be whatevar ya want"

Fuck off. I hate American "optimism" designed to keep the working class from revolting.


According to insufferable cunts like OP, 7 billion people on the planet are lazy and just want to wallow in shit.

And then some guy just decides to be successful and he's a billionaire the next day.

The stupidity makes me livid.

>>38325889
>the process itself is often expensive.
>???
Fucking hell, did you read what others wrote in this thread? The point about money was already made. Now read my post again before you say "LMOA JUST GET A JOB BRAH".

>>38326034
duh, in USA poor people are poor by choice, billionaires are billionaires by choice, people die of cancer by choice, the american system is the most perfectest system that ever existed

What books will increase my emotional intelligence and make me less awkward?

>>38325735
It's not about responsibility, clearly I understand how having the will to change yourself comforts people (though I don't really believe in free will but that's irrelevant and would take us down a whole other rabbit hole). I'm just saying that a lack of actual form in terms of self voids any kind of significance I might've been able to pull from it in the first place. If there is no definitive "me" or definitive anyone then it makes this whole being alive thing seem meaningless. This is a complicated point that I don't entirely understand myself and I shouldn't have brought it up but whatever.
>People fucking love musicians
People overstate this. Being moderately okay at writing music doesn't make you any more interesting of a person or any more fun to be around. And regardless I don't like telling people I'm a musician. It's cliche and embarrassing. Fuck I don't even consider myself a real musician.
>I asked specifically what you did and why it failed.
If you don't see how an inability to interact in public isn't a failure then I don't know what to tel you. And just to the whole point of this, you're literally just saying "there's likely some feasible way to fix your problems". Do you realize how empty that is? Yes most people here realize that there are ways to improve but to most that seems so far outside the realm of what would be possible to succeed in that there's just no point in pursuing it.

>>38326138
Read the thread, dingus

>>38326152
I don't know what to tell you, man. It seems like your problems largely stem from an inability to interact with people optimally. Psychology has proven there are things that we can say and do to overcome this and this information is accessible from your own home. Break down your problems into as many of it's elements as possible and one by one systematically dismantle those elements until the problem ceases to exist.

>>38324574

CAUSE DAT SHIT DON'T WORK NIGGA

I tried all that shit in my 20s. None of it worked. The only thing that worked was me accepting my fate and just keep trucking on.

>>38326859
>I tried all that shit
>what worked for me is not trying anything
wat

>>38327128

Pretty much. I should write a self-help book about it.

You can't give yourself talent, dumbass

>>38324574
That's funny, I don't remember seeing anything about me making my dick bigger that isn't a scam.

>>38324574
>with proper research, you can reconfigure your body composition and brain chemistry
>literally turn yourself into any person you want, provided you're willing to take a break from video games and anime for a bit
Why the fuck are there so may teenagers on this board god damn

>>38324574
>make yourself socially competent
I can't even look into people eyes at some days, faggot. Attractive girls I do not know nearly give me flight reaction.

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Because some things can't be fixed.

I'm "mentally unstable" and I'll always be, I don't want to, but it's like there's a second person in my mind telling me all this shit.

I'd change if I could, I'm even on meds now.

But I know they can't help, I've been broken from the start.

Fuck off normie.

>>38326828
Logically there is some step you can take to make a point that we will agree with, why don't you just make that point? Why do insist on not taking that step?

"every problem you have has numerous books, articles, videos, essays, etc. on how to solve it

all of these are easily accessible for free or a small amount of autismbux online"

90% of it is bullshit that is repeatedly posted so its authors can make a few bux.

But besides that, i'm tryin man. It's a goddamn long process. I'm 19 and in college. I've been on this site since the beginning of high school, I've been in misery for so long. But I swear I'll get there soon, and I'll keep telling myself that.

I'm trying to go to the gym regularly, slowly increase my collection of /fa/ clothes, and watch lots of podcasts to develop social skills so I can learn how to talk to people.

">with proper research, you can reconfigure your body composition and brain chemistry"

Just tell us the "proper research" OP. Giving vague and useless cliched answers won't help. Fucking normies always tell us useless advice. Fucking be specific OP.