>need to take a huge ass shit >been holding in this shit

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>need to take a huge ass shit
>been holding in this shit for about 13 hours
>go into bathroom and shit for an hour straight
>shit is so huge it starts filling up the toilet like those frozen yogurt machines
>no more room in the toilet
>i grab the end of the shit with my fingers to try to cut it off
>succeed and try to flush
>the shit blocks the toilet hole so water starts flying everywhere
>brown water all over the ground
>stand up, shit all over my ass cheeks
>pulled up my pants and walked downstairs to get a steak knife to cut the shit
>grab one and walk back upstairs to the bathroom
>had to step in shit water on the floor
>cut half the shit but had to remove the other half of it so it can actually go down
>actually goes down
>put the other half in the toilet and flush
>goes down but it clogs the toilet
>smells like shit and i have shit on my hands and floor
>no toilet paper so i had to walk back downstairs to get paper towels
>spent 45 minutes cleaning my ass, my floor, and my hands

Being a human is fucking disgusting.