Guys, my mom died on Friday, and if you don't mind, I'd

File: 1498797467778.jpg (46KB, 566x562px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 566x562px

>>38292180
Have you tried the Bacon Queso Burger from Wendys yet op? It will take away any pain you feel

>>38292382
No I haven't. Neighbors have brought us a lot of food over the last few days, we're pretty well stocked on baked ziti and pasta salad.

Also, a kid I used to play D&D with looks just like Reviewbrah, so seeing him always makes me laugh.

>>38292180
My Dad died last monday and I know exactly what youre going through anon.
It feels insincere when you hear the exact same shit from everyone you know

I can't imagine how that feels OP.

This probably won't help you, but even though I don't know you I still feel the heaviness and unfairness and brokenness of a world where this happened. It's not just some isolated grief that you have to deal with alone, and that most people can't understand because it's not THEIR grief, not THEIR tragedy. It's not just a meaningless chaotic world where bad things happen, and it's down to luck whether they happen to you or your loved ones.

I wish I could do something tangible to give you some shelter from it. But I at least want to say that the gravity of what you're going through is real, it's part of the universe and not some private obstacle thrown in your path arbitrarily. And there are people out there who feel it with you, or wish we could, so that we could take some of the load off your shoulders.

Just feel the grief as it comes, and don't try to make sense of it right now. It'll make sense eventually, somehow. Don't try to put it in a box with a tidy little bow on it. You're going to have to let the currents just take you for a while.

>>38292180
Should've replied

She had diabetes and never took good care of it on a day-to-day basis. She was constantly having low-blood sugar episodes where she would become very disoriented and out of it, sort of like if she was drunk.

She was driving to a doctor's appointment (her diabetes doctor, ironically enough) and didn't eat anything that morning, so her blood sugar was super low. She went into that confused state and ended up swerving into the other lane, crashing into oncoming traffic and dying.

I didn't even see her that morning, as I had spent the night at a friend's house. I just can't help but think if I had only seen her, I would've recognized that she was going low and I could've prevented all this.

File: 1492103350582.png (88KB, 604x516px) Image search: [Google]

88KB, 604x516px

>>38292767
theres always a million things we couldve done differently anon. I know if i could go back in time id change a lot. But i try not to focus on that since its impossible. Im sorry to hear about your mom, i cant imagine the state id be in if my mother died

File: Snake Feels.gif (941KB, 350x200px) Image search: [Google]

941KB, 350x200px

I am a man of few words, and little emotion. I know this will not ease the pain, but you have my sympathies, OP. I wish fortune upon your future.

>>38292180
I am soooo sorry anon. If you need anything, we're here for you.

My relationship to her was always kind of strained. I always told people that she was a perfectly adequate mother, but she was just not a great person. She was always pretty mean, and only grew more so over the last few years. She openly talked about how much she didn't like my dad, didn't ever want to speak to him, made him sleep on the couch for the last several years, and yet neither one of them had the guts to get a divorce. So instead I just had to endure them fighting and arguing basically everyday for most of my life. As cruel as it sounds, if you put a gun to my head and made me choose, I would have said she was my least favorite parent. What made things even worse was me always having to resuscitate her from her diabetic episodes on a weekly basis as I mentioned in >>38292767

It was such a weird family dynamic. The child constantly having to save the mothers life on a normal basis, the mother being generally mean and cruel to the father, but expecting us to still love her as if she wasn't doing anything wrong.

But still, I never wanted this to happen.

What happens now, Anon? What are you going to do now that she's gone? Do you have anyone to rely on?

After seeing you mom die, how did you overcome the fear of ceasing to be? Are you religious?

>>38293197
Jesus thats rough. I can't imagine how hard that must be. How are you holding up?

>>38292180

Know that feel, lost last member of my immediate family 4 months ago. What would you like to talk about homie?

>>38293223
Yes. I still live with my mom and dad, and for 99% of my life my Mom never had a job, dad provided for us. It was only in the last few months that she finally got a job at a call center. Dad is still here for emotional support and financial I suppose.

>>38293227
No, I am not religious. I was raised in a Catholic home, but around high school age I quietly decided that I didn't actually believe in any of it, didn't see any logical evidence of a higher power, no reason to invoke the supernatural in a rational explanation of the world, yada yada yada. So no, I don't think she is in heaven or anything. I wouldn't exactly call it comforting, but it's not a big discomfort either. I like to think I am on ok terms with the concept of mortality and death.

Was she hot? Also, sorry for your loss OP.

>She openly talked about how much she didn't like my dad, didn't ever want to speak to him, made him sleep on the couch for the last several years, and yet neither one of them had the guts to get a divorce. So instead I just had to endure them fighting and arguing basically everyday for most of my life.

Holy shit anon I'm in that situation right now it's fucking hell. How do you feel not having to endure that anymore? I imagine some ambivalent feelings going on right now.

fuck I shouldn't have opened this thread because now I'm sad

>>38293282
I think I'm doing ok, all things considered. I know that a couple of my relatives are concerned that I'm not crying enough or showing enough dismay about her dying and all, but I think I'm just processing it different than most people. I've certainly cried here and there over the past few days, and I definitely feel a looming heaviness and sadness over everything I'm doing, and yet I still find myself able to make jokes with my friends and play my DS for a while and forget about my troubles.

>>38293381
In younger pictures of her I think you could say she was attractive. I know she had at least one modeling gig in her life. Nothing huge, just some local thing.

>>38293413
It's certainly a mixed bag of emotions anon. One on hand I'm obviously sad about losing my mother, my dad losing his wife, etc. But on the other hand, yeah, I am a bit hopeful for my dad, that maybe someday he can find someone that will treat him a lot better. He's a really great, earnest, hard-working, funny guy, and he deserves a lot better than how my mom treated him.

>>38293446
My mom died when I was 26. She was diagnosed with her first cancer when I was 15 and it was a slow death spiral of amputation and chemotherapy until. When she finally went all I felt was an overwhelming sense of relief and I know with certain conviction that if I'm diagnosed with it I'm checking myself out rather than going through treatment for a few more painful years.

This probably won't comfort you much but be glad it was fast, anon.

>also don't feel guilty about making jokes and playing DS. I don't think she'd want you to stop being yourself.

Holy shit anon, is she ok??

>>38293578
I'm very sorry about what you had to go through anon.

>>38292539
Holy shit. As funny as that is, it's also incredibly grim. OP just lost someone he loved, for Christ sake.

>>38293717
Nah it's ok. I laughed. Stuff like that is why I keep coming back to this place.

>>38293655
Thank you anon. It was shit because my parents were divorced and it's only looking back now I can see how hard she felt she had to fight it because of looking after me. She didn't and I wish she'd quit sooner for her own sake.
I could only ever say this anonymously, I've never told anybody that.

File: manly sad.jpg (94KB, 720x1035px) Image search: [Google]

94KB, 720x1035px

>>38292180
when my mom an hero's i looked around at all my sobbing relatives and felt that they were ony crying for themselves, i got over it fast to honor her death even though she was the one person i didn't want to die. i was quite the mommas boy but now i am a boy of wizdom and feels.

>>38292180
Add me on Steam if you need to talk tomorrow or whatever, I already have a bunch of people from this place bothering me with their gay problems anyway. My steam URL is 2kewl4school and I'm a kawaii anime gyaru that will make you have a totemo tanoshii while but will eventually go yandere on you. You have been warned. Add me... if you dare.