what is that one thing you wish you could forget? that one thing

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what is that one thing you wish you could forget? that one thing that you could have lived without. here's mine.

>break up with gf
>get back together just before festival
>hang out a lot at this festival
>sleep together
>just sleep
>kiss each other that morning
>go to the festival
>she is fucked on mdma
>kisses some guy in front of me
>i storm off
>few days after i forgive her
>fast forward 4 weeks
>we are drinking
>i finally ask her about why she did it
>says she doesnt know
>gets sad
>i leave
>i come back
>i cant find her
>she is in the toilet
>door is locked, she is on the phone
>i get her to open the door
>she has cut her wrist
>up the road, not across
>i fall back
>start hyperventilating
>she tells me its not my fault
>we go up to her room
>keep drinking
>talk about random, stupid shit
>sun is rising
>both pretty drunk at this point
>i tie her up
>both her arms are tied up
>she has band-aid on her arm
>her arm is bleeding from the rope
>we have sex
>her arm bleeds most of the time

somebody top me, please.