>be me >always have the urge to piss but never can >always

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>be me
>always have the urge to piss but never can
>always have the urge to shit but never can, can't trust farts, often in abdominal pain
>new cavities every time I go to the dentist despite brushing and flossing every day, sometimes even 3 times a day
>terrible dry skin that is sensitive to heat, whenever I go outside in summer or do anything physical break out into excruciating full body itching
>currently sitting on the toilet trying to piss and shit and currently failing at both
>male pattern baldness
>virgin

What the fuck, stop