My father is a has done a lot for my family. Problem after problem,

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My father is a has done a lot for my family. Problem after problem, they've shown themselves as selfish or incompetent. He's worked hard to get where he is, and while I won't get into the details, he's really broken his back to get a lot of people out of fucked up situations. I've idealized him both in my childhood and adolescence, but this sentiment of debt towards him has had an effect on my mental health that still affects me.


He could get pretty authoritarian, and it's taken him drastic turns in our lives to get him to understand. Our family life has been very rocky, it's undeniable that he is an angel, but he isn't me, and I know I've gotta communicate some things he won't want to deal with to in order to lead my life in the direction I want to.


What should I do? I love him, but I fear I have to choose between:

A) Having a perfect relationship in our hometown leading an ordinary life in which I could use occupy my free time with my passions, with stability and company on my side,

or

B) Be the kind of person he was, write my own story at the cost of radically changing in his (also their) eyes, for I have been a customized version of me he can understand rather than my true self.