You guys know you'll never get a girlfriend if you don't

>sticking your tongue in a pussy that's had 30+ cocks in it before

>>38153976
I'd rather die alone than eat a yeast rotten cum and period taco

>implying I'll ever have the chance to fuck that up

Man I've never even kissed a girl on her normal lips, wtf dude

>>38153976
For some reason it's just a cartoony rendition, but they look fucking disgusting
> then you're a homo and go for cocks
They're also disgusting, but it jut feels that if a woman fucks up even slightly, her flaps can become rancid.

>>38154004
If you ever plan on kissing a girl I have some unfortunate news for you...

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>>38153976
Oh, I know, and I accepted it a long time ago.
Fine by me, I have no desire to "eat pussy".

>be bisexual
I'm more than willing to suck a dick, so I'll just get a boyfriend (once I stop being a social recluse).

>>38153976
>You guys know you'll never get a girlfriend if you don't eat pussy right?
You know I'll never get to eat pussy if I don't get a girlfriend, right?

>>38153976

not licking that shit.

>>38153976
One of my favorite things to do. If you have the right girl, you can get carried away down there. Never actually tried this but I'm almost 100% certain I can cum totally hands free just from eating a girl out. I know this because of how close I've come before.

>>38153976
enjoy throat cancer

>>38154004
>sticking your tongue in a mouth that's had 30+ cocks in it before
>sticking a dick in your mouth that's been in 30+ unwashed onaholes

Untrue.
Also you can get away with just a bit of clit licking every once in a while.

How would someone know if I'd be down with going down on them before being their partner? I think we have different ideas of relationship progression

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>>38153976
Do guys usually offer to eat a girl out, especially before regular sex? I'm a virgin with little chance of getting laid, but I think getting eaten out seems really gross, even if it's supposed to feel good. If I was getting it on with a dude and he wanted to eat me out, would it be autistic to say no?

>>38155757
>virgin with little chance of getting laid
>If I was getting it on with a dude and he wanted to eat me out
Does not compute.

>>38155757
unless you're incredibly ugly or straight up dont want sex women can very easily get laid

>>38155757
What's your problem. Just get Chad to eat you out like he has done with countless sluts before you. You're just another notch on his bedpost, and you love being just that.

Top middle + bottom right = insta-cummies

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>>38156127
>Top middle + bottom right = insta-cummies
tell me more desu

>>38155404
I haven't gotten it to work but I had the idea of giving the girl my hand and having her trace it like a map to where she wants my tongue to go

I should also make friends with more lesbians for tips lol

>>38155757
My gf is a cleaniness autist and does not want me giving her oral.

>>38155976
>>38155988
I'm talking hypothetically here

>>38156039
oh my god shit the fuck off dude and dont be an asshole. treat women with respect

>>38156377
beta whiteknight detected.
Anon is 100% right. Women can only be volcel not incel.

Would making a thread on /lgbt/ be a good way to get good advice?

>>38156452
What if they're a hamplanet?

>>38156352
Hypothetically answer my fucking post >>38156039

>>38155757
you and i both know it'd be easier for you to just admit you're only a virgin because no one short of chad will do

>>38156494
i see the most disgusting "people of walmart"-tier hambeasts pushing kids in strollers every day

not an argument

>>38155757
beta cucks with 5 inch dicklettes HAVE to eat a girl out where as chad just jumps right to pound town

>>38156494
>hamplanet
there's guys into that.
And they could literally get some self control and become decent looking=insta bf

Meanwhile a fit,well dressed,corteous,well adjusted 5/10 man can't get a gf if not by:

1)sheer luck
2)tons of trial and error (50 to 1 fail ratio or higher)
3)dating down
4)all of the above

>>38156494
they can be BLACKED

>>38156039
Chad is mean

>>38156604
>tons of trial and error (50 to 1 fail ratio or higher)
If the ratio was 50 to 1, I'd have a new gf every week. Try 500 to 1 at the very very least.

>>38156617
What a stupid thing to say. Get any normie then.

>>38156647
>If the ratio was 50 to 1, I'd have a new gf every week.
Yea.. swiping on tinder doesn't count as trying.
I mean RL, proper, skillful, approaches

I miss so much eating pussy

>>38156127
>>38156159
All the other shit is nice preamble but if you want her to cum hard and fast you only need to do one thing: suck her clit into your mouth making a vacuum seal around it and then flick that sucker for all she's worth. And when she starts to cum DON'T STOP, until she pushes you away.

>>38156735
It IS a numbers game, but it's nowhere near as simple as just trying 50 times.

>>38156159
Imagine burying your nose and mouth into a bowl of jelly and there's a tiny m&m embedded at the very surface and you're motorboating this m&m with your tongue while occasionally slurping on the jelly and then suddenly the entire bowl explodes all over your face

>>38156803
Oh and props if you stick your finger in and out of the jelly while you're tonguing the m&m

>>38156797
>it's nowhere near as simple as just trying 50 times.
Jesus Christ Omnipotent, it's a statistical average I made up.
It doesn't mean YOU ARE GUARANTEED TO get a gf every 50 or whatever times

How autistic are you son

>>38156957
I'm not autistic, I'm just saying your made up number is much much too low.

>>38156766
>>38156803
GTFO normiefagits

>>38157004
>your made up number is much much too low.
It is if you don't exclude visibly disgusted girls a priori.

If you go entirely random then it might be as high as 1000s, but that's true even for anyone below Chad level

>>38156377
Yeah right that guy is such a dick #freethenipple #notyouronahole

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>>38155757
Not to tell you what you like and don't like, but there's social pressure for women to not enjoy sex but do it anyways. As well, the concept intimidates some women from asking for cunnilingus or foreplay or that it's gross and they're not supposed to enjoy it.
Most guys won't eat girls out because they don't think it's normal. There's both the idea that "piv is all that procreation needs" and that "I haven't seen that in porn, that's abnormal. Also, your vagina looks different than porn, and I don't want to get near it."
For me, personally, just dick ain't good enough. If a guy thinks oral is gross, the relationship will never work out (which is why I usually prefer women). Lesbians have more orgasms than straight women for a reason.
Of you hooked a guy who wants to eat you out, you have a keeper. If he's enthusiastic about actually pleasuring you, then odds are he'll incentively listen to anything you're uncomfortable with. If he understands oral, he understands consent, so don't be afraid to voice your concerns if something makes you uncomfortable.
If you get the chance (and I imagine you will), try cunnilingus. If it freaks you out, tell your lover. It won't ruin the night.

>>38157226
I'll never understand this. As a man I can have an orgasm literally within a couple of minutes anytime I want. It's one or two spasms and last for 3 seconds at most, then I clean up and go about my life again. I don't need a girl for that. What I DO need a girl for is witness the female orgasm, to give pleasure, to make someone happy. It's way beyond me how there's guys who only see sex as a way to bust a nut.

I guess the same goes for women, to an extent. If I don't put my partner's pleasure first, I might as well masturabte instead.

>>38157226
take this nonsense back to >>>/tumblr/ you faggot

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>Guys, is my dick big enough? I don't want to be cuck and unable to pleasure a woman. Without a big dick dick, girls won't like me.
>Eww, eating pussy is gross and beta and for cucks. You know how many condom covered dicks have been inside of that self-cleaning, monthly bleeding, orifice?

/r9k/, everyone.

>>38153976
>eat pussy once
>get food poisoning and almost die

never again

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What does pussy taste like? I cant imagine it tasting very nice

>>38157469
it sucks but lots of people say the opposite either bc nasty fucks or to justify they get cucked into doing it, like fags who say literal feces taste good

>>38157469
Bags of milk

>>38157469
Salt water/sweat

>>38157665
>Salt water/sweat
with a tomato+cream aftertaste

It's disgusting

>>38155757
>would it be autistic to say no?
I'd be disappointed tbqhwy, but not mad. I actually enjoy giving a girl oral but if she doesn't want it then whatever i guess.

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I'm a permavirgin manlet. I don't need to learn these.

To all the normies in this thread: WTF do you come on /r9k/ for anyway??

>>38157469
it tastes different during different cycles as lady juice changes consistency/composition throughout. I personally think it tastes best during ovulation when it's clear, sticky, and messy.

Holy shit that's disgusting. Jesus

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>>38156537
No boy has ever asked me out or showed interest in me, and I've never had a really big crush on a guy. I know I'm not a lesbo since I'm not really attracted to women, and I'm too focused on 2D men now anyways. I never really got why people on this board say "DUDE WOMEN CAN GET LAID SO EASILY JUST DON'T BE HIDEOUS OR A LANDWHALE." It's basically "just bee urself", it'd require me actually going outside too. I have a hard time just talking one on one online like on discord or skype or whatever.

>>38158116
Stop with ur roastie retardation.
You're not INCEL.
You choose to be VOLCEL out of convenience and/or autism.

Here's the rundown you stupid c*nt:
1-install tinder
2-chat 10 mins with any of the 10s of decent looking betas who msg you in the first 24 hours
3-go out, be shy and autistic
4-they'll love u and be your loyal bf 4ever

>>38158116
>it'd require me actually going outside
Give me your Skype or discord or whatever and I deliver myself to your door.

>>38157353
This. I didn't even care if I came or not with my ex, I just wanted to her to have a good time. I also wanted to see how many orgasms I could give her lol

>>38157816
I had a good summer after school I guess. Still have no friends or prospects though

Also you're spooked

>>38158116
>No boy has ever asked me out or showed interest in me
So YOU make the first move. Lazy fuck.
Where do you live? What are your interests? You could get a bf within 24 hours if you really wanted to. But nobody here is a Chad and you only want Chad so.