>4th of July >having stomach problems >already shat

>>38150209
just tell them you are feeling sick, it's not that fucking hard

dude same, except I dont think its as bad as yours

File: 1491668325166.png (12KB, 470x457px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 470x457px

>>38150354
>hey anon hang with us you're always so quiet
>n-nah not today guys I'm sick
It'll sound like I made up an excuse
Even though I really am
I just couldn't win this one

>yesterday
>start taking a normal shit, it evolves into demonic diarrhea
>Sweating, hyperventilating, start to black out
>feel like I'm going to vomit
>have to call my dad, takes me more than a few minutes to dial his number because my hands were so shakey
>Laying on the floor of my bathroom, talking to dad on the phone so I don't pass out
>40 minutes later, I'm feeling ok to finish shitting
>do it, takes more than 10 wipes
>crawl into bed 1.5 hours after it started

Now I've got work today, and I can't miss it.

File: 1482985137662.png (268KB, 750x750px) Image search: [Google]

268KB, 750x750px

Well they left and I was ale to take my shit
Feel bad for refusing my roommates offer but the body wants what the body needs and I desperately needed that porcelain throne

Nothings worse than having a disgusting shitter situation on a holiday

File: 1482819158632.gif (263KB, 600x304px) Image search: [Google]

263KB, 600x304px

>>38150209
sounds like you need more meat in your diet

>>38150462
Just tell them you idiot, most people will naturally believe you.

"I'd love to go but my stomach feels like I ate nothing but razor blades and I don't know if I'd be able to handle being at a restaurant. Thanks for the invitation, though, I'd gladly accept if I felt better."
It's easy you shitter

>>38150462
Make a stinky while their there. Don't leave any room for doubt.

Reminds me of shitting myself in front of my oneitis.
>4th of July
>many moons ago
>her older brother is driving us to the fireworks show
>try to sneak a fart out, it's a shart because drinking the night before
>she starts to gag, he starts to gag, I start to gag, all windows are down already
>but wait, there's more
>tell her brother I need him to stop at a gas station NOW
>I dash inside, destroy that toilet and examine my now ruined boxers
>pants are miraculously untouched by the funk
>toss underwear in the trash and freeball it
>disapproving looks the rest off the night from both

I also vomited on her and her best friend from the sides of my mouth because I decided to chug the rest of my 40 and it decided to not be chugged. I tried to guess it was just a little foam and kind of spit it back into the bottle, but I made a seal and it went sideways with them on either side of me. I don't blame her for choosing my (at the time) best friend instead of me.

use the schwarts bucket anon
use the scwarts bucket!!

you need to shit you better shit on yo pants OP

you gotta piss piss in that jug over there
the schwartz jug anon

>>38152750
Yikes. You sound disgusting.

>>38153826
I thought the same thing....

>>38152750
Be less disgusting and go find an amazing woman, anon.