>it'll get better in high school >it'll get better

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>>38148964
Holy fuck thats me.
I just got out of high school and i honestly i feel i wasted my childhood.
>never really had friends
>never been with a girl
>never did any of the stuff kids do like sneak into r rated films or hell even been to a real party.

>>38148964
me in a nutshell, m80
I remember being 18 years old and feeling so down and alone, and thought about how next year I would finally find someone and it would all get better.
10 years later and here I am, still

Jokes on you, it actually got better (but it had to go worse first)
I have no regrets

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>it'll get better
The biggest lie ever told, right after to "be youself".

Remember it's better to never had anything ever, than to have had and then lose it

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>>38148964

>My meds stop the hypomania
>My hypomania make me happy
>My calm state from meds makes me remember the things I did when I was hypomanic

I just want the happiness back. I would be delusionally happy with nothing could bring me down. Everything was great. No drug could compare to how I felt. I gave no fucks and live for today. The things I did in the past didn't matter and the future was bright.

The meds stop the repression and it all comes back.

>>38148964
All we are is dust in the wind, friend.

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>>38148964
Except that I couldn't even delude myself as far to think that it would get better at any point in time because my childhood was so fucked. I was smart to see my whole future out in front of me as a lonely, broken autist in middle school. I could see early on that there was something "missing" in me that let others be happy and lead normal lives, and what I did have was fundamentally broken at the core and could not be fixed.

But even then I at least ventured to change the course of my life and failed spectacularly every time, only to reinforce my foreboding at what was to come.

And now here I am, 27 working a dead end min wage job after being fired 5 times because of autistic behavior, still living with my family who Barry tolerates me because I'm a angry bitter isolationist that sees no one iota of hope for the future. Every friendship I've ever had I ruined and now I'm too drained by work, guilt, and resentment to build any new ones. Just waiting for the day I get the balls to bang myself on my bedroom doorknob with a belt now.

>>38149067
it's not too late for you
I've had my first gf when I was 21. things will fall in place slowly if you try. it is harder if you are an autist but completely doable.
still, I've gotta say, my depression didnt improve much and I still hate myself. some things just dont change

>>38149339
>my first gf
>when I was 21

Right that's completely normal idiot.
As long as you're in your early 20s you're fine.
GTFO NORMIE

>>38149310
Im almost 19 right now and im scared that im heading the same way. Ive been depressed as fuck since middle school and have no useful skills
>>38149339
Every year i tell my self this is the year i finally get a girl and turn my
life around but every year i manage to fuck up any existing relationship and socially retarded so cant talk to people or make new friends.
>>38149196
Do antidepressents help? I want to forget being loney and be happy for once.

Fuck I want to kill myself but im too much of a pussy and i dont want to ruin my parents unstable marrage

>>38149574
>Do antidepressents help? I want to forget being loney and be happy for once.
No they don't.
The pain is not emotional, it's rational in origin.
It stems from you being aware of what massive failure you are, and that you've wasted the only shot you had at life.

You could try to literally get high off your mind on drugs, as some seem to do, but badtrips are a thing and pretty dangerous.

Not to mention it's just temporary anyway, the bitter, crushing feeling will come back soon enough.

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>>38149339
>I've had my first gf when I was 21.
Get the fuck off this board.
You're a fucking nromie, you don't fucking belong here.

>>38149574
>Do antidepressents help?
Stay the hell away from SSRIs unless you want to become the next mass shooter.

>>38148964
You watched Kaiji too! It's so gooood

>>38149658
>mfw you never tried drugs because you never had friends
>mfw you dont have connections because you dont know anyone who used drugs
>feels bad man.jpg

>>38149719
Drugs are normie as fuck anyway, you're better off not using them.

>>38148964

I didn't even go to uni, or college.

Feelsbadman.

>>38149372
>>38149339

yeah honestly, 15-22 is a normal age range for a dude to get his first ever gf. Failed normies just get gfs a little later, like between 18-21.

I am a failed extrovert/ failed normie and I got my first gf 2 weeks before my 19th birthday

>>38149719
>>mfw you never tried drugs because you never had friends
I used to smoke pot when I was a teen.
I just felt stupified for a bit, the pain was still there.
In fact it would lead to paranoia and depression.

My guess is normies find it useful to cope bc simply too easily distracted and dumb.

>>38149784
>15-22 normie
>18-21 fail normie
What is this autism if i get my first gf at 19 am i fail or normie

>>38148964

I was a total beta in high school, got no pussy at all, and graduated hs a kissless-hopeless-dateless-handholdless-virgin. And honestly it was entirely my fault. Both guys and girls are at their absolute horniest in high school, failing to get laid there means you're very socially inept.

Thankfully the one girlfriend I've had in college accepted my autistic ways. To be fair tho she was kinda spergy herself, and she wasn't a Stacy by any means.

>>38149841

19 is failed/delayed normie zone

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>>38149841
If any female finds you attractive enough to date you, you're a fucking normie period.
Fuck. Off. The. Board.
You dont fucking belong here you normiefuck.

>>38149574

I was on multiple SSRI's as an adult for 1 year. They will turn you into an zombie with zero shits to give. Every day you will not feel emotions, goals or have dreams. You'll only reason for living is because you are waiting to die.

Like what >>>38149675 said, stay away from SSRIs unless you are inflicting physical harm to yourself.

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>I promise myself I will get a gf till this summer

well... I fucking failed

>>38149973
>well... I fucking failed

You're not alone anon.
However remember that you only have a handful of useful years left to find one.
After that there won't be any more "summer gfs" and then no more summers altogether

>>38148964
hey man are you calling my financial adviser is a liar?

>>38149969
That sounds like of nice i want to stop give a shit about everything
Not really that much different from where i am now
>dreams and goals you will bever accoplish
>im just waiting to die at this point.
Honestly i really dont see the point in living.
Maybe then ill stop being a pussy and just kill myself

>people who cut themselves are attention whores. I really dont see the appeal in it

>>38149973
>I promised I would have one relationship like all the rest of my friends before I graduate highschool

Failed spectacularly, who knew I could act cool only to have everyone desert me when I act my true autistic self

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>>38148964
>missed out on most of the stuff normal peole experience
>have anime, hentai, and onaholes to numb the pain
Not that bad of a tradeoff tbqh

>>38150135

Then go for it, you can get any doctor to prescribe it as it cost only 4$ uninsured for SSRI. The only reason I went to a psychiatrist and got diagnosed was from a fellow Robot recommendation on /r9k/.

>>38149784
I got mine at 14 and 10 years later im still with her if horseshoe theory applied to being a robot Id be a robot too, assuming i also die with her

>you're supposed to have social skills and experience to get a job, not perfect attendance and good grades
It was obvious I would fail the moment I wanted to get a summer job and my mother told me otherwise and I listened to this selfish bitch. I just want to die at this point, I don't care I missed out, I don't care about oportunities. I want off the ride. It's like a boring movie that will drag on for the next 3 hours, I just want to stop.
what a shitshow.

>>38149574
>Do antidepressents help?
I got my first serious gf little after using antidepressant and beta blockers (i have social anxiety). the funny thing is that that medication made gave me a limp dick or pe with i was on them and that ruined my relationship. months after stop using them everything went back to normal. perhaps mine was a special case. i don;t know. my advice (if you have something similar) is that you have to face your fears adn overcome them by yourself (ubermensch stuff)

>>38150533
See with the problem with me is that
>>38149658
The only thing im really scared about is dying alone but i dont know i can change that im a fuckinh failure

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>>38148964
I'm 25 years old and I carry a manilla rope with me in my backpack at all times, when I started on 4chin in 2010 I laughed at losers here and thought I'd certainly never end up like them
I even have a criminal record now even though I barely leave the house