I know this is a meme for you all but my mom just found my cum

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>>38148648
>cousin found the cum gloves

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>>38148735
not funny it actually just happened to me

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>>38148648
>DAD FOUND THE PENIS PENCIL

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> Auntie found the smegma waffle

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>>38148907
>>38148969
STOP I NEED FUCKING ADVICE HOW TO CALM MYSELF NOT YOUR FUCKING MEMES

>>38149021
what the fuck are cum gloves idiot?

>>38149121
>he doesn't use a cum glove instead of a hand

it's those white thin gloves that you wrap in a towel, lube up, and it feels just like a pussy

>>38149171
>it feels just like a pussy
Just get a fleshlight you moron.
Or, you know, actual pussy.

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>>38149345
You said it and couldn't believe it yourself

>>38149436
true
but the fleshlight/onahole recommendation is valid

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>>38148648

mum found an alcohol bottle wth my cummies inside it
she brought it down and confronted me infront of the entire family
have never wanted to die so bad till now

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>>38149486
it's mission impossible when you're living with parents who check every single thing in your room, let alone mail...

>>38149517
fuck dont let that be real

>>38149615
>it's mission impossible when you're living with parents who check every single thing in your room, let alone mail...
Go to a physical shop/automated machine and hide it taped under your bed.
You're just making excuses.

>parole officer found the orifice oracle

>>38149692
>pops found the penis purgatory

>>38149681
what the fuck there are automated machines that sell onaholes? what are you japanese?

>>38149615
>fuck dont let that be real

it's very real desu
i have left my room once since and all my sisters looked at me with absolute disgust
i feel like nothing will be the same again

>>38149736
>what the fuck there are automated machines that sell onaholes?
Yes, outside of sex shops, open at night

>>38149769
well I live in a second world country so the nearest sex shop is 70km away and I don't want to talk to the cashier there

>>38148648
Don't have sex toys while still living at home. Just don't. It's not worth it.

>SISTER FOUND THE ANUS ANNIHILATOR

>>38149806
>while still living at home
>implying you'll move out eventually

>have drawer full of sex toys
>repair man coming to fix ac in my room
>come home
>mom cleaned without asking
>open toy drawer
>they're all organised and tidy

Fug

>>38149868
>mom cleaned without asking
Ngl anon your mom is probably a massive whore and has way more than you

>>38149868
>mom organised your dildo collection
now that's a feeling I never thought I'd experience

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>>38149868
>>open toy drawer
>>they're all organised and tidy
How nice of her.

>>38150160
I want to experience this picture but rotated 180 degrees into her

>>38148648

>Mummy found the cummy tissue n' toy time timeout box.