"Champ, your mother and I think it's time that you

>>38145688
>give him a firm handshake
I can look people in the eye but i can never do this
fuck all normies, i hate to grip people

Reminder that you cannot be a robot if you have a good relationship with your father.

Fuck off dad, I can get by fine with your money.

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>>38145712
"Son, excuses are for quitters -- and I didn't raise you to be a quitter. All it takes is showing up, speaking with the manager, addressing him as 'Sir,' shaking his hand, and telling him that you want the job. Easy-peasy."

>>38145738
What? I can't hear you over the sound of that fucking accordion!

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"I'll drive you down there, so you can speak with the manager personally. Now dress your best, get ready, and remember: It's all in the handshake, son."

I think this meme is funny and dumb at the same time. I suppose that's all memes, though.

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>>38145688
>>38145738
>>38146019
This meme is getting better every time i see it

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"Kids these days have no idea just how good they have it. All it takes is speaking with the manager, looking him in the eye, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you want the job."

"Back in my day, I had to walk through a blizzard just to get there -- after I'd lent my Mustang to my friend for the weekend, of course."

>>38145688
If it was so simple, Dad, then why do I have one, and you're homeless drunk?

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>>38146737
"Son, that attitude never got anyone anywhere. You're looking for a job today, and I'll drive you to help get you going. It's all about speaking with the manager, looking him in the eye, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you want the job. Nothin' to it."

>>38146689
I remember you from yesterday :^)

origamiorigamimeowmeow

How did this amazing meme start?

>>38147911
People post a picture and write funny words.

>>38147911
A wholly unironic appreciation of all the advice we've gotten from another generation that totally understands the world in which we live because they created it and now we're left to clean up the mess and deal with it. Nothing to it.

post the one with shinji's dad's glasses and I will talk to the fucking manager

I tried this one time at a papa johns and the manager became visibly upset and I realized I'd been squeezing his hand like a retard for a full minute

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>>38148251
"Did you remember to look him in the eyes, champ? It's all about the little things. Anyway, we've got three other places left to try. Remember what I told you: Eye contact, manners, and nice, firm handshake."

>>38148299
but dad, they have a lot of other applicants and I don't know anything about what they are doing at those places, I also have no workplace experience, why should they pick me?

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>>38148357
>why should they pick me?"
"Because I didn't raise my son to be a quitter. Remember what I told you, son: It's all in the handshake."

>>38148481
why are you ignoring the rest of my post, dad? why do you never listen to me? you are being irrational, the world isn't the same as 30 years ago!

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>>38148542
"Talk to the manager, Shinji."

>>38148557
talking to the manager won't work, I need to apply online or give them a resume, I have nothing to put on the resume.

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dad, how am I supposed to shake hands when I don't have any limbs?

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>NEET nightmare
Good luck bottle-pissers, you're gonna need it.

>>38148557
i hate you dad nothing works for me

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>>38148640
"Son, it's as easy as pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and taking the initiative. Remember to speak with the manager, tell him you want the job, look him in the eye, and give him a nice, firm handshake."

>>38147007
>Drive
Nigga, you haven't owned a car in 20 years. You mean we're going in my car. And you are not talking to any managers. They'll just think we're both there to shoplift. Just stay in the fucking car.
And no, we aren't stopping at the liquor store or any of your friend's houses either. No I don't have a 20.

...Why are we on speaking terms again?
If you can't tell already, my dad's a complete nigger.

>>38149789
False. If you were really black, then your father wouldn't even be in the picture. Nice try, honks.

>>38149813
Half-truth. I hadn't spoken to my father in 20 years. Literally didn't even recognize him when I saw him face to face for the first time in my life.
We wouldn't have even had that meeting because we both sold something to the same pawn shop and we both had the same first and last name.
I don't speak to him now because, yeah, he's a nigger in every sense of the word.

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Dad I gave the manager my best handshake and maintained strong eye contact with a light smile on my face. My fedora was a nice touch the interviewer added before I left. Dad i love you.

>>38149886
>Sumali
>Needing to work
Good one.

I've applied to walmart online but afraid they wont hire me. Should I go there and give the manager a firm handshake to seal the deal?

>>38145688
Why are the keys on a dragon dildo

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>>38149928
You mean to tell me that you haven't yet?

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>>38148626
"Nobody likes excuses, son. Now you're going to go down there, speak with the manager, look him in the eye, shake his hand, and tell him you want the job. It's that easy."

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>"B-but, dad, the manager told me the entire process was online!"

>>38145688

Hi. City police here.

We got a complaint from nearly every store in the local area that your son is going around demanding jobs and insisting on handshakes and looking the owners in the eye? He insists you put him up to that?

Yes I'm afraid that's gonna have to stop sir. We have online applications for a reason. That's to check just how much of a degenerate fool he's made himself on social media these days. No sir. Don't tell me he's a good boy that's never done drugs or partied. We don't appreciate being lied to sir.

Also the handshaking....yeah that doesn't fly in this day and age. Physical contact is a no-no. We can't properly assertain whether he's liable to pull out a weapon or physically assault the manager. Oh I know he's a nice young man but that could easily be a terrorist cover, and even if not all it takes is one bad word these days for anyone to lose it. We've already had 405 workplace homicides this year sir. We don't need a 406th. Especially with how he insists on looking everyone in the eye.

I'll let him go with a warning, but if I see him again I'll have to take him in if I don't feel treated and shoot him 41 times first.

And for god sake sir get more locks on your door. What do you think this is the 50s? The towns 80 percent hispanic now. You're lucky you haven't had a break in yet.

>>38145688
Fuck off dad, I'm not qualified for shit. Let be NEET scum until I kill myself

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>>38152996
"You'll never get anywhere with an attitude like that, kiddo. I'm taking you to look around for a job. Volunteer, if necessary. All you need to do is speak with the manager, look him in the eye, stand up straight, and give him a firm handshake. That's all there is to it."

>>38145688
Handshakes are stupid, who's the asshole that first went around trying to touch people as much as possible?

>>38145738
I will try to do that my dear daddy faggy

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>Head to LinkedIn
>Apply for several jobs within the area
>Never seen this many before
>During this time of year, especially
>Summer has been pretty good to me so far
>Hurry and fill out my resume
>Address each cover letter appropriately
>Knack for writing sales and technical copy emphasized
>E-mail cover letters and resumes where appropriate
>See this. What do?

>>38153065

Volunteer!? Dad I would fucking send you to the grave before I do any free work you cuck bastard.

This is why mom divorced you when you got laid off and got your brilliant idea to do volunteer work while you job hunt.

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>>38151842
"Son, it's all a matter of taking the initiative, showing up and speaking with the manager, and giving him a firm handshake. It's as easy as that."