heaven is just beyond the bay this thread is topicless, childhood

In 10th grade, as I was losing my friends, I started smoking pot to be able to hang out with my last one cuz he was smoking a lot of pot. we hadn't started out friends as smokers, he was there like the second time I smoked. but then he ghosted me and joined the popular group. I had been listening to Kanye's "Can't Tell me Nothing" and it was a scary song to me;but now that I've my own life-it's a song of redemption because I kept my independence-sure I was a loser in highschool, but I'm my own man NOW

>>38143513
at the same time, I was losing another friend. his dad had been a dying drug addict and while smoking pot I came up with something that REALLY scared me: "We all go into death screaming 'no'". but I realized some people have lived their lives to the fullest and when you lived with no regrets and your body is failing you go into death thinking "I did."

and i remember writing something on a notecard when I was high to never forget, but I forgot what it was and the notecard no longer exists. I think it was "you need to choose pain and you do exist". I would also come home high and stare into the mirror scaring myself

>>38143570
that was the year I got to go to homecoming with my 6th grade oneitis, but nothing felt worse than sitting outside the school, having no plans cuz I was a loser, when she was popular

>>38143592
after the pep rally on that Friday of homecoming, the weeks before my friends had stood me up to go shopping for our clothes, they had gone without me
some of them are getting married
i'm in college i'm 25 i'm learning trades and gonna learn architectural engineering and hopefully become an architect

>>38143444
in case anyone is here, it's something I came up with in highschool "heaven is just beyond the bay" reading about slaves turning to religion
I think it's true tho, because if we make this world a free world, they'll be reincarnated in it eventually-their heaven will be heaven

i remember at this time i was listening to a lot of Nine Inch Nails and God is An Astronaut

>>38143636
it's ironic-as I was losing my friends I was sitting with two of the most popular kids in the school in study hall. we had never really been friends tho we had hung out a few times in mixed groups

i should've known those guys would do that tho

I also read "The Kite Runner" that year, while listening to Nine Inch Nails, in study hall

>>38143691
I feel like that's more productive than homework

i had a broken heart
i was listening to Goo Goo Dolls, especially "Name" wishing I had someone, a friend, but my brother became my best friend in the whole world, but that really started when I turned 18

>>38143723
I remember one day I was walking to school and listening to "Name" and the drums came in and it was so beautiful and tragic
I also remember running at like 4 am on school days even in winter to "Hannah Montana" music, especially "You and Me Together".--it was the only alive thing in the world to me when I felt dead.

but one day "I'LL BECOME WHAT YOU[they] BECAME TO ME"

>>38143777
but being kicked out of the group was both a blessing and a curse
I got to push a music duo further with less friends
I eventually ended my friendship with him in college because I wanted to hang out at his dorm but he never called me and I realized we had never been friends

>>38143855
the drummer who helped kick me out of the social circle is the one getting married
that guy is SOOO fake

>>38143873
the drummer was not the bassist and never came to practice
i was the guitarist

File: 1466444941108.jpg (48KB, 634x347px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 634x347px

>>38143444
>>38143777
>>38143855
checked

Sorry OP, I don't know what made me turn out the way I did.

>>38143922
well, at least i got a (you)
did u at least enjoi reading someone else's perspective?

I think that most people never escape the place they were born-i'm bourne to.

>>38143949
It's certainly alien to my experience. I never had friends to engage in drama with, nor have I ever experienced the sensation of getting high. Outside of necessities such as school/working, I've mostly bided my time browsing the internet.

>>38144029
I used to read pua when shit was going down(my social life)-so that just deepened my depression. I was actually horribly ashamed of reading pick up artist shit

>>38144045
I disagree something terrible with most pua philosophy. I don't think u should use your social circle to meet people, I don't think you need to put people down to look good, and you don't have to be the leader of a group
if u do-i'll b womanless, cuz i'm not willing to be those things or try

and one time before a party at my friend's place right before I was kicked out, we were two sophmores and some senior dudes came over and we smoked pot and I pulled out my new pipe and they didn't seem impressed.
then my ringtone came on chorus of "The Good Left Undone" by Rise Against and my friend laughed at me, he liked that song too, but he laughed at me

>>38144118
those dumbass seniors only listened to like Phist and other garbage

>>38144149
Phish*
I remember clinging to the last friend who was never a friend
I literally begged him to come over after we smoked pot that I didn't want to smoke
and my parents were shouting and we could hear them from outside and I had him leave

I'm waking up hung over for the second day in a row. I had spent so much time sober. It was my dad's birthday yesterday. I got home at 8:30 pm fucking shitfaced. Think I gave him a hug. I didn't even know. I probably smelled like a fucking brewery. It used to be funny but I'm starting to feel like an asshole.

File: 1498472592077.jpg (43KB, 299x459px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 299x459px

God bless... SEXUALLY. I am so god damn high right now holy shit tutti fruition I'm in a fucking high ass condition.... I feel like I'm starting to separate myself from myself you know, starting to lose fucking touch with reality.... I want to smoke pot and jack off all God damn day and bugging you niggers...I'm talking about sex right now, about fucking!! Homosexuals are degenerates I can't stop! Lol I have to go to the bathroom.

Self titled by god is an astronaut is great. I think I'll listen to that and Hammock today when my fucking diarrhea stops