Sup robots, So it's finally happened. I'm living

File: 34971006216_12a15fbebd_b.jpg (289KB, 1024x680px) Image search: [Google]

289KB, 1024x680px

Sup robots,

So it's finally happened. I'm living the life that I always feared I would end up living. I'm 22, and I spend most of my days lying in bed on reddit/4chan smoking weed, and some nights sitting up drinking with my alcoholic foreign housemate who uses me to practice his English on. I've been more or less unemployed since I graduated a year and a half ago. I had a shitty job working from home for a bit but I was late on a few assignments so they cut contact with me. I hate most of my friends, and the ones I don't hate won't talk to me. I'm losing my hair at 22 and have shitty teeth. I think about killing myself nearly all day every day, except when I can drag myself to the gym.

My parents won't talk to me, but they send me money every month for rent, food, and a bit of booze and weed. This might seem like a sweet deal but it just means I have no incentive whatsoever to get off my ass and look for a job. I'm afraid of going out in public and I've been having panic attacks in social situations recently that force me to go hide in the bathroom to slow down my breathing.

I've quit weed recently and I have forced myself to apply to a few jobs, trying to convince myself that things will get better but realistically I can't see that happening in the near future. Every time things start improving in my life, I get hit with a wave of depression that crushes me and stops me from being able to do anything. I wasn't always like this, I've had periods in my life where I was happy, sociable, fairly successful with women, and had decent job prospects, but this fucking depression keeps derailing me and I'm pretty much a fucking worthless loser at this point. Going to see a therapist (which I can barely afford) next week to try and help me get my shit together.

Anyway, sorry for the faggy post. Just wanted to get some shit off my chest and maybe hear from someone else who's got themselves out of a similar situation.