roommate stories > be me > be uni > room with probably

(continued)
> considering the circumstances, determine with bf that we are ready to move in together (at least temporarily)
> pack essentials and move in that day
> start wondering what to do with the lease
> thankfully, it's in my name because Sally has the shittiest credit this side of the pond
> could go the easy route (evict her and terminate the lease) but decide to have a little fun instead
> put roommate ad on gumtree with fairly enticing signing bonus (deposit and first two months rent waived) but make sure to explain in full detail Sally's bitchiness so people at least know what they're getting into
> after about 2 weeks, snag exactly the right person, herein referred to as Mark
> after talking to Mark for a couple hours, I learn that:
> he's a massive slob and will enjoy not having to care about it
> he mostly eats carryout and never leaves leftovers so the food isn't a problem
> clothes aren't a problem either as he makes Sally look positively fucking anorexic
> furthermore, he's gay and likes to bring home a revolving door of fuck buddies who may stay for a week or more
> basically, I am gonna make Sally live with a male Sally on steroids
> the cherry on top is that he's willing to pay a substantial amount more than half the lease is worth, so I can now goose more out of Sally on premises of equality
> mail him my key after he clears the leasing background check
(continued)

(continued)
> get panicked call from Sally that evening asking why there's a strange guy in the apartment and how he got a key
> explain how subletting works and notify her of her increased rent effective immediately
> hang up when she starts screaming
> over the next few days, receive flurry of progressively more desperate texts and voicemails detailing Mark's activities
> apparently, she is now cleaning the apartment like a slave because he doesn't care and having to deal with the constant presence of his (apparently equally disgusting) fuck buddies
> notice next month that her rent check is some quid short
> text Mark and tell him that if Sally doesn't make up the money and pay next month's rent in full, I'll give him the right to move her shit out and change the locks
> he presumably apprises her of this because I get about fifteen voicemails over the next hour
> fast-forward about three months later, the incessant messaging from Sally has all but stopped so I assume she's either killed herself or made peace with Mark
> then she calls at like 1 AM out of the blue
> decide to answer for shits & giggles
"HOLY FUCK, you finally picked up, you NEED to get him out of here, this is completely unlivable" blah blah blah
> "yeah, guess it's a bitch when people give keys to the apartment to weird fucks you don't know"
> hang up

>>38049207
7.5/10 i want to fuck mark

>>38049173
Post tits please.

>move in with room mates in random uni dorm
>1 shitskin 2 other white guys and an asian
>kettle breaks and short out the apartment
>toss it in the bin
>switch power back on
>figure I'll go get a new kettle tomorrow
>later the power goes out
>wtf
>apparently shitskin has taken the kettle out of the garbage and into his room
>explain thats disgusting and it shorts out the power
>no toilet paper in the toilet
>buy some and just keep it in my room
>2 weeks later still no toilet paper
>2 bottles next to the toilet
>drain on the floor caked with shit
>asian and shitskin haven't been using toilet paper
>complain to building management
>shitskin ends up moving out

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11KB, 251x242px

>>38049173

>even my bf of 2 yrs doesn't have a key

leave this board whorie normie

>live with 2 guys in a 100 sqft room
>all three of us have completely incompatible sleep schedules
>one sleeps with music on and no headphones, it's disgusting dubstep shit
>he stays out late at night and always wakes me up at 4 am when he comes in.
>The other guy never leaves.
>He was constantly crying and yelled when he was on the phone every other day
>get so angry, I don't even speak to them for the last 3ish months that I live there, when my semester is over, I just do my cleaning and get out without saying a word.

Dorms are the worst shit ever. The only pro was free laundry.