>tfw hair stylists's boob touched my arm See ya later

>>38015200
That's nothing, kiddo. Here's what happened to me.
>be at dentist
>she's a qt just a few years older than me
>while working on a tooth she got really close and her chest touched my face for quite some time
>never knew how good this feels
>so warm and heavenly
>feel extremely happy

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>sitting in a train
>seating consists of sections that have two rows of three, facing each other
>sit in a section alone as do most passangers
>a girl comes in the train
>there are several sections she may choose from
>she chooses mine
I think she wanted to be my gf but was a bit too shy.

thx for the kex op

>>38015362
lol are you me? this happened to me at the same time you posted

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>>38015362
>take busy train
>my stop is early so i always get a window seat
>occasional slick and sexy wageroastie has to sit next to me for lack of choice
>its exactly as if i have a gf for half an hour taking a trip with me

Im practically don juan with all the girls ive been with

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>>38015200
>Shook hands twice with a comely certified MILF this morning

I'M OUTTA HERE

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>>38015200
>standing in line at uni coffee shop
>stacy lines up behind me
hello my fellow chads

>be me
>be beta orbiter
>"best friend" has big tits
>ask her for hugs so that i can press my chest against them
>she probably knows why i do this

Guys I think she's a slut. What do?

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>>38015291
i dont understand how her tits would be on your face

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>>38015579
same.
I'm such a chad.
I've been sitting with tons and tons of hot girls in buses and trains

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>>38015200
>at starbucks
>qt cashier looks to be around my age
>she hands me my order
>our hands touch

Who else here /ascended/

>make eye contact with a girl
>hold it for 2 seconds before looking away nervously

Being alpha comes naturally I guess

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>Tfw some kind of feminazi topless protest in my city
>tfw you get to see some bare boobs in real life for the first time

Chad status: Achieved

>>38015780
Buttsecs
oregeneno

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>>38015799
>he has never been to a lava dentist

>>38015799
>>38015799
Simple, she's shorter - or she's leaning over. I've had this happen to me before. It can be really uncomfortable or really nice depending on the dentist/dental nurse though.

>>38015200
>arm
What a beta. Mine hairdresser touched my head with a boob

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>at fast food drive in
>pick up my tendie meal
>me and the qt black girl at the window both say "have a nice day" at the same time
>would have said "jinx you owe me a coke" but she already gave me my dr. pepper
>drive away knowing that I could have had her at any time

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>>38015200
>commute to uni by tram
>peak hours so it's all clusterfucked
>no free seats barely any room to stay
>more people keep getting in anyway
>cute student gets in and stands in front of me
>mob of people pushes everyone back and forth
>my dick is on her ass for about 20 minutes
>act like i din't even notice
best day ever

>>38015799
>>38015291 Here
This is correct >>38016144

My qt hairdresser always touches her pussy against my elbow, who's the real chad here, betas?

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>dinner lady serving rice pudding
>give me extra rice pudding

Being Chad is great

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This happened when I was in highschool

> deutsh professor's boobs touched my shoulder
>English teacher's boobs pressed my shoulder
I think they knew what happened

Get on my level guys

>>38015200
>hair stylist
get a barber

>>38016295
lol @ not thinking fast enough to go "jinx u owe me a dr pepper" then making some joke about how she's giving u one right then

My friends wife complimented my dick size when I got out of the shower
''holy fuck!''
"'what?''
''T-that's huge''
and started sucking me off

>>38016475
After which they both have a laugh followed by a sigh expressing satisfaction. Then anon could've just said something along the lines of "how about a quickie in the restroom?" and he would've lost his virginity.

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>>38016509
>in this thread Anon McMicropenis bigs up his dick

>>38015200
That's nothing.
I was at dentist several days ago, she was like 8/10. After she finished I asked for a hug and she agreed. She was slim and beautiful, the hug was amazing.
Alright, I'm outta here

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>>38015200
>hair stylist at cost cutters asks if I use conditioner
>she's in love with my hair

What up bros

>>38016581
isn't cost cutters a low budget super market? why are you getting your hair cut there Anon?

>>38016581
She was telling you that your hair was gross and she wasn't even sure that you use conditioner like a normal person

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>>38015200
>tfw so many chads in this threads
I WANT NORMIES TO LEAVE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>38016635
don't worry Anon we are all gonna make it

>>38016648
No way Anon, unlike us Chads, who are born with a gift, you'll never achieve our greatness!

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>be at retail job, cashier
>ring up cute older lady
>give her change back
>hands touch
>tell her to have a good day
>says "Thanks, you too, hun."
Fucking score

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>be me 10 year old
>teacher keeps giving me the new colouring pencils every time
>she clearly wants to fuck but she has to wait for me to be legal
>i finally reach Chadulthood and can pick any babe I want
>sucks to be that teacher #suchachad

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>rip out a huge fart in front of a cute girl
>"ewww, gross"
>jerk my arm around and start waving my hand behind my ass towards her direction
>shout "stir fry last night"
>she starts walking away
Just call me Mr. "fuck your bitch"
being a chad has never been easier

>>38016635
Chad here
>be 5'9'' and over 300 pounds
>go on a diet and lose almost 20 pounds
>roastie doctor tells me she's proud of me

Just be yourself, bro.

>>38016788
She probably wanted to check those dubs.

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>read body language book
>notice that girls shoulders are pointing towards me and they do the hair flip

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>be outside
>walk past someone
>our hands touch

>lifting big at the gym
>girls always asking if I need a spot

Life is blessed my fellow chads

>>38015200
These threads unironically help me improve myself. Most threads on r9k make me sad. Thanks friends.

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>preparing for a colonoscopy because of my tummy problems
>fiftysomething nurse sticks her finger up my ass to apply lube

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>write a message to a female friend
>she read it

so long suckers

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>Repressed memories of female teacher molesting me as a kid suddenly resurface
Looks like I was actually a chad the whole time. See you around, losers.

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>>38015200
>be me
>be wagie
>Stacy calls me over to answer a question
>10/10 friend flips her hair as I walk by
>hair and perfume hit me in the face
>giggles and says sorry

Being Chad feels good

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>get informally engaged to qt 8/10
>she can't escape because muh traditional family arrange marriage situation

W...will I make it?

>>38016475
>>38016543
This desu. Anon, ya blew it.

>Go to doctor with blocked ear
>She shines light down my my ear
>Could she make it any more obvious she wants me
Women just naturally flock to my chad cock.

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>>38015200
>>38015291
>>38015362
>>38015579
>>38015602
>>38015680
>>38015805
>>38015822
>>38016295
>>38016377
>>38016431
>>38016434
>>38016581
>>38016664
>>38016681
>>38016727
>>38016788
>>38016906
>>38016997
>>38017008
>>38017582
>>38017582
>>38017600
>>38017694
>>38017782
>>38017816
>>38017920
>Tfw you will never be this alpha
>Tfw you will never be alble to compete

I always thought my dentist looked like shit until one day she took that ridiculous hospital hat and mask off. Holy fucking shit, woman has a gorgeous face (8/10 body).

I caught her tiddies in my chest and near my face a lot of times when she was looking at my teeth at the far back of my mouth. She is kind os stacey though, my last dentist eas also gorgeous, had honey coloured eyes and was very sweet. No tiddy toucb though.

>at wallmart
> make eye contact with a female
I'm basically a pimp

>getting a drink at your local jewbucks
>cashier looks down, obviously shy and afraid my chad dick would be too big

How can betas ever compete?

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>>38015200
>be shopping
>stacy wagie asks if i need any help
>tell her no
>okay well let me know if you need anything
>smiles at me
>pass by her again
>she tells me to have a good day
Watch and learn boys. REAL Chad coming through

>>38015200
nothing but normies itt
get the fuck out

>>38016906
>shoulders are pointing towards me

Wait what is this a thing

>>38018436
>Wait what is this a thing
scoliosis

>>38018443
Kek

This entire thread i's gold

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>be at restaurant
>qt waitress brings food
>reach out for the plate as she puts it down
>hands actually touch
>she smiles and pretends she didn't just notice

I pity you handholdless virgins, i really do

>friend has crush on girl for years
>literally known her since childhood
>gets friendzoned/rejected by her every year
>she ask me out in front of him
>say yes
>go on a few dates
>have sex with her after ~one month
>still together
>friend is still single
Did I do this right?

>>38015362
She was of course retarded

Relevant:

http://bigtittytube.com/media/videos/mobile/121789.mp4

>>38018549
You should be ashamed of yourself desu.

>>38018549
That was pretty BRAD of you anon, shame on you.

>>38018549
shoulda decked her ass when she asked you

>give myself a new haircut
>cashier is staring at me more than they usually do
I know she wanted to compliment my hair but she probably felt too intimidated by my chadiness

>>38018926
its either that or you look like a faggot

>>38018944
He definitely looked like a faggot

>Anon here walking down the street with tendies

>go to a dentist
>she leans her boob against my cheek while drilling something in my mouth
I'm outta here now loosers

>I have had sex before
>I have met a pornstar before
>I played beer pong with pornstar
>I slept in a bed with 2 different girls, not related, not my gf
>chad's gf fell asleep on my shoulder prom night

>>38019034
HI ANON WHAT YOU GOT

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>storm
>constant lightning and thunder
>not even scared
how does it feel to know that you will never be as alpha as me?

So if I order fries instead of tendies does that make me chad?
Um one time I lifted a heavy box.
Guess that means I'm alpha.

>>38015200
>at hairdresser
>her tits press up against the back of my head, and occasionally my cheeks
>the soft mound just above the pussy, below the bellybutton, presses up against my elbows and arms and sometimes the backs of my hands
I'm such a thundercock holy shit

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How do you guys motivate yourselves to get a haircut? I dread it.

>says buying gf for 10k
>qt blonde wit a tight pixel ass says ok
>actually trade her 8.9k

this is how it feels to make it lads

>>38018549
No joke, I'm the opposite.
I'm a robot now but for some reason as a teenager a lot of girls in my high school had a crush on me. My friend's crush asked me out and I rejected her because I was more loyal to my bro.
He turned out to be kind of an asshole who was still spiteful towards me because of the fact that a lot of girls liked me, and he always tried to embarrass me in front of girls he liked (i.e tell embarrassing story about me)
Now women don't really like me anymore and I don't get any pussy, I lost my cute teenage charm

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>>38019249
it's easy Anon
you get to spend some time with qt and don't have to talk much
haircut a day keeps depression away

>watching Disney's Frozen with my niece
>she leans her head on me during the movie
Time to ditch this cuck fest

>>38019275
you're not a robot, you are a failed normie

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>Old black lady at the gas station called me "Honey"
Heh...get on my level inferior males.

>>38019288
Is that Dylan roofs hair? fucking based bro

>>38019326
Jokes on you I'm a KHV

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>cutie asian girl at subway is charging me for my food
>i say bye
>she says see ya
when will you virgins learn

>>38019354
still doesn't change the fact that you were a normie once

Who else here gets a boner from the haircut lady

>>38019380
Girls liked that I was edgy mostly
I smoked weed, dressed liked a goth metal faggot and listened to edge core

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>1 on 1 speech therapy in middle school
>milf teacher's wearing a tank top
>one strap slides down her arm
>"oops"

>>38019412
>girls liked me
why are we still arguing?

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>>38019397
My sisters friend is a stylist and says she has guys moan while she washes their hair.

which one of you was it?

>>38019397
>not having severe ED
Feels good being a sex god

>>38019450
Same. I can barely keep it up for a fap anymore. I'm 31.

>>38015200
Once in secondary school, we had this teacher that for some reason every kid in the school like. While in her class I was walking backwards for reasons I forget, and I accidentally touched her butt while pacing backwards.

I apologised profusely, and she didn't seem to care really.

>>38019543
>take viagra
>fuck a cheap asian prostitute with my semi hard dick for a few seconds before I nut
You virgins disgust me

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> be me
> in special ed with one other student (we had a very short bus)
> guy next to me makes a run for it
> qt special ed teacher tries to catch him but he overpowers her
> she falls to the ground and her tank top slides half way off
> I get up and help her up as she cries
> she grabs my arm and tells me what a great man I am
LOOK OUT GUYS TO CHADLAND I COME!

>>38015362
You looked the least likely to bother her by starting conversation and there was no chad around
t.girl

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>be me
>go to dentist
>dental nurse sucks me off right then and there then spits my jizz in the dentists mouth - CHAD!

>>38015362
>Sitting on the train
>Beautiful blonde girl smiles and asks if the seat next to me is free
>Start talking with her
>She laughts at my jokes
>We get off at the same station
>When I stand up her she looks at me and her smile vanishes
>She literally goes with disappointed "Ohhh"
>I'm a long tarsoed 5'7 manlet and she's like 5'10
In that moment I finally learnt.

>lost my virginity in a dream a couple of weeks ago
I guess i have to leave now

>>38019787
>not wearing lifts

>>38019792
I'm on nofap. Do wet dreams count as losing my virginity? If so, looks like I need to move to /soc/

>>38019820
>be 5'8''
>wear 4 inch elevator boots
>appear 6 foot
Kek at you manlet virgins
Feels good to be an alpha male

>>38018549
>Enabling roasties
>Not being a good friend
Disgusting.

>at podiatrist because of broken/dislocated big toe
>legit 9/10 nurse
>I'm making her laugh a lot because I'm genuinely pretty funny despite being an obese, autistic virgin
>when she's holding my foot to put on the cast she presses it directly into one of her boobs

Fee free to ask me for advice guys

>>38016040
fucking kekd lmao

>>38020108
What's the secret to being funny?

>>38015200
>Looked at a girl from across the room today without her even noticing

Pathetic betas, learn how to be ALPHA

When did r9k become so filled with Chads? REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>38020239
>summerfags trying this hard to fit in

>>38020165
Become deeply uncomfortable when people ask why you act so miserable all the time and start compensating by using ironic humor until they leave you alone. You will never form close relationships with people but at least they'll laugh at your jokes.

>dropped my backpack while it was unzipped and stacy even asked to pick it up
best part about it? i said i dont need her help, damn feels great being chad.

>at dentist
>dental hygienist's arm brushes my arm
>lingers there for a few seconds
>feel that warmth of skin-to-skin contact
>he's a guy
>take what I can get, right

do I qualify as a Chad now?

>>38017816
damn dude. congrats

>>38015780
where do you live anon

orogogogo

thank you for this thread lads
i was having a shitty day but this magical thread cheered me up thanks familys

>>38020346
What's the gay equivalent of Chad?

>>38018549
Beta af desu

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>dentist checking looking at my teeth
>''wow, you smell really good''

>walking to bus
>walk by two girls
>one of them stares at me and hear her say i'm handsome to her friend as i walk by

haven't gotten a lot of compliments ever so that felt good

>>38019864
>Do wet dreams count as losing my virginity?
Only if you're hugging your waifu pillow.

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>go to gas station to buy my daily sour supply of sour gummy worms
>notice new qt3.14 just started working
>think to myself this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, now's my time to shine
>proceed over to the alcohol aisle to make myself look cool
>browse for about 45 minutes until she approaches me
>"sir may i see your id?"
>tell her i'm 27 when i'm actually 19 (she had no idea)
>she tells me it's time to go
>follow her back to the counter and covertly sniff her hair without her noticing
>ask her what kind of shampoo she uses
>tells me to stop and that i need to leave now
>years of experience watching anime tells me she's a tsundere and that i've got her hook line and sinker
>effectively seal the deal by buying cigarettes and magnum XL condoms to look extra cool
>follow up with a wink and letting her keep the 73 cents in change
>mfw i'm waiting outside her car right now for when she gets off work

later nerds, i'm on a one way trip to chadopolis

>>38016429
>hairdresser
>whos the real chad

it aint you.

>>38015200
this is a legitimately fun thread
thanks OP

>ridding home on bike in 40 degree temperature almost having a heat stroke
>stacy pulls over and asks if i want a ride
>turn it down
Who /gentleman/ here?

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>enter store
>female cashier asks if she can help me and im the only one inside

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This thread is funny but it was disappointing that actual normies shared their filthy beta sexual experiences. They'll never be chads like us.
I've been sitting with lots of 8/10 girls in buses for years now

>>38016377
Bullshit!

Sounds too good to be true!

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>9/10 female acquaintance says she enjoys talking to me

livin' the chad life

>sitting in my desk when class is nearly over
>girl sits on top of my desk facing away from me
>instant boner, quickly slide out of the desk
>she says "oh sorry anon I didn't see you were sitting there" and giggles
>cum in my pants
>her vagina was less than a foot from my dick for about 2 seconds

Yeah, you could say I became quite the Chad after I lost my virginity.

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>live in south italy
>people someties kiss u on the cheeck to greet you
My uni is full of qt

>>38020285
If this is what makes me a failed normie, am I really one of /you guys/?

>>38021839
>live in the northern and better part of italy where I don't have to eat dirt
>people sometimes kiss you on your cheek to greet you and can write decent english
My uni is full of qt

>>38015200

>standing in a crowded (city) bus with a couple of friends going to the beach
>~18 year old cutie next to me.
>arms touching, ass/legs touching
>get a boner
>have a melon with me in a plastic bag
>mfw when she starts rocking back and forth towards the melon

Fuck me, a melon in a plastic bag got more action than I did.

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>>38015200
welp i made it guys, so i guess, this is it then. im a chad now xD

>walking down street
>look at human females foot
>get huge boner

>>38022047
yep you're a chad now

>get Amazon Echo
>exclusively use female Alexa voice

See ya, suckers.

>make eye contact with qt in front of me in shopping line for three seconds
>she turns around, takes her shopping cart and joins a different shopping line

That means my mojo was too strong, r-right?

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>>38016377
Fuuuuuck i wish this happened to me .

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>do a double take
>see my ideal tall brunette women in yoga pants walking towards university reading a book in the street while walking
> group of old people blocks pavement moving slowly
>walk next to her for about 10 secs imagining our future life together
>realise I am too much of a lone wolf and end it there to spare her feelings.
>can't limit myself to making just one woman happy, it would be unfair.

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>>38021936
Oh fug dude, I kissed so many qts in Spain too.

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>qt grill from r9k alternates between ignoring me and texting me sexual innuendos
>goes silent whenever I ask to meet irl

Heh... roasties want me so bad but still just can't resist playing hard to get.

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>be on bus
>super qt sitting across from me
>eyes accidentally meet her's
>she smiles at me
See you on the other side, fellas. I've ascended.

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>be me
>work as IT
>start chat with qt supervisor who opened a ticket
>decided i'll start the conversation greeting and asking how is she today instead of just going straight to the point
>she starts talking about herself
>tells me she goes home all alone and by bike or foot and she could use a ride
>she goes out two hours before me
>shit.jpg
>get notified that i will get the shift same as her next week
>mfw got all the oportunities to giver a ride
>hellomilfhottie.jpg

>>38018549
If I were that friend I would have gutted you like a pig.

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>qt polak at my favourite bakery near work
>go there at least twice a week for my favourite type of savoury pie
>you come here so often I'll give you student discount
>saved 40p

Do you think she wants me to invite her to move in before or after I have saved the nest egg for our future family?

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>ride jeep
>hottie wearing shorts is there
>sit near her
>jeep stops to let more passengers ride
>she moves to make more room for passengers
>also move to make sure i sit beside her when jeep is full. Youre not getting away desu
>success
>jeep is full. Am sitting next to her
>she adjusts her body to look outside
>tfw her boob is now touching my arm
>notwearingbra.jpeg
>it's so soft i think i also felt her nipple
>purposely try to press on her to feel more of her boob
>tfw massive boner i could cum on the spot
>we stayed that way for the whole ride till she got off the jeep
>fap when i got home

I think she was doing it on purpose robots. Probably a fetish or something

This thread is actually pure gold.

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>>38023062
Yeah it made my day.
I think all robots should say stuff like this frequently. It increases self-esteem. We aren't cool according to normies but we can pretend to be so in our own minds and here on /r9k/ and that's good enough for us

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>sleep over at uncles
>cousin with dig ol bitties is sleeping in same room
>touch her arm, no response
>gently touch boob for longer, no response
>touch boob while jacking it and put a little drop of spunk on her lip
>she laps it right up and swallows

That was the day I became a chad at 16.

>>38016040
underrated as fuck post originalll

>walk outside weaing a shirt that says 'help me'
>stacy walking the opposite direction reads it , looks at me , and smiles
>smile at her too

tfw my fellow robots will never have this experience.

>>38017517
This my dude. Shit ain't so bad

>Been getting on the bus like every day to my wagecuck job
>Have sort of chad looks and okay dress sense(socially inept though)
>Can get women to sit closer looking at them as they are within my aura/personal space or some shit.
>Have a laugh with this to pass my journeys, got it from some shitty pua youtube vid.
>Staceys who are mirin sit directly in front of me if they can or behind.
>Never goes any further. I feel like they are comfy in my presense though.

You can't touch me guys. I am a physchological god amongst mere men.

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>>38015200
>>38016377
>>38017600
>>38019366


Checked and keked.

>>38016906

ay you know this too.

>>38018549

Get the hell off this board.

>>38021514

Agreed. Fucking non-virgin betas all over the place.

I guess all the robots finally got unbanned. Glad we're all here. Normies get out.

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>walking to post office
>two qts walk by me
>they both look at me
>one of them briefly smiles
>didn't call the cops

Ask a non-virgin anything.

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>>38016040
holy shit KEEEEEEEK!

How was that not original?