Can we get an "autistic things you do" thread going?

bumping for oregano recipes

>afraid a massive corporation will sell anything i copy so i always copy garbage after copy pasting something

>>37999971
i'm a 30 year old neet who lives with his parents.

>>38002082
Can I ask you legit questions?

I flip a coin to make choices. It started out with small things like what do I want to eat. Now it's turn into major life choices.

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>>38002117
This makes me really angry for some reason, just think for yourself for once.

>>38002172
It would probably make you hate me knowing i'm in a loveless relationship with a guy friend, because I flip the coin.

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>>37999971
>I still play with plastic army men, having divided up my house into territories for the various team colors I've accumulated and have made a habit of playing out conflicts with them at least once a week
>I detest My Little Pony but get off to the thought of several of the males in the show anthropomorphized and fucking me as a means of humiliation, teasing me all the while about the irony of it all
>I'm a furfag with a plush toy for a fursona

I think I'm beyond saving, honestly. At least I'm self-aware.

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>>37999971
Sometimes I like dressing myself up heavily with a balaclava, sweater, backpack, etc., and then procceed to beat myself up with an object or my fist. Repeatedly jumping on a table and landing on my chest also works. Then I'll just lay on the ground groaning in pain pretending to be a wounded soldier. It doesn't even have to be in a bellic context, I just like squirming on the floor in pain. It's almost sexual.

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>fold my trash so i dont use up too many plastic bags for the trash can

actualautism.aylmao

>>38002807
this isn't autistic
why would you not do this

>>37999971
>I detest My Little Pony but get off to the thought of several of the males in the show anthropomorphized
which ones?

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>>38004160
basically all of the ponies and every now and then Discord
Big Mac, Shining Armor, and Soarin mostly but the majority of them get at least some time humiliating me
This includes female ponies with dicks;
sometimes I flip their gender completely but other times they're futa

post what you have copied

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVrFu1OGS-Q

>>38004442
or not
wwwwww

>give myself an enema in the shower after every time I shit because I can't stand not being 100% clean

I am very unwilling to just wipe and call it a day anons

>>38005516
To a lesser degree I can't stand touching much of anything immediately after taking a shower.

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After reading too much manga I wander around my house with one eye closed and carry around a giant dowel rod I bought to look like Guts

I even have a huge black cloak thing I put on

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sometimes when i go up stairs i go on all fours like an animal, complete with screeching and drool

>>37999971
>Walk a certain way when the ground is patterned.
>Made multiple personalities in my head and talk to them.
>Chew on small plastic things for hours.

I get off the toilet seat to wipe my ass unless I'm in a public restroom. Its so much more optimal I don't understand why everyone doesn't.

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I rap about gamgster stuff but im not even about it. I also have made raps about this board but when the finished product is done instead of uploadi g it for people to listen to it, i throw it to the thrash.

Im also not even good at rapping because i have weird slurred speech

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Sometimes in public or alone, I remember something funny and laugh.

>>38004442
https://m.imgur.com/r/funny/kXSLA
I don't know what this is before posting.

>>38005771
This one hit close to home
>>38005797
I'm chewing on a bread tie right now
>>38005909
I do this all the time and people around me ask me what's so funny and look at me like I'm Hannibal Lecter

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>>38005859
You slur your text too, you okay anon?

>>38005944
Oh, now I know.

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>>38005948
Yeah man, it's was something, sometimes I couldn't control it I kept laughing like a loon.

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I used to crush leaves in my hand pretending I was a magician; capable of altering the outcome of school yard games.

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>>38002528
>>38002539
>>38004160
>>38004389
>I share an imageboard with those degenerates

>>38004442
zao

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>>38006032
But anon, there's nothing degenerate about army men.

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>>38006096
>I detest My Little Pony but get off to the thought of several of the males in the show anthropomorphized and fucking me as a means of humiliation, teasing me all the while about the irony of it all
>I'm a furfag with a plush toy for a fursona
and
>I just like squirming on the floor in pain. It's almost sexual.
You guys need help right now

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I like to run knives along my skin and press the blade against my body seeing how hard I can press before drawing blood. Once I pressed too hard and bleed really badly and ended up with a scar. When my mom noticed and confronted me about it I said I was depressed as I thought that was less embarrassing. I had to go to counseling for a month.

>>37999971
jam a wad of toilet paper in my ass after i shit to avoid getting skid marks in my underwear. one time one of these fell on the ground in class and i got weird looks from the girls behind me

I pace around my living room before I go anywhere for the first time. How long I do it depends on how stressed I am.

I've got an interview tomorrow and I've already been pacing a bit. I'm pretty fucked.

>>38006434
what did you tell the counselor?

>>38005909
I feel like most people do this. I remember there being facebook pages about it back when those were a thing

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babyfur

>>38002528
>I still play with plastic army men, having divided up my house into territories for the various team colors I've accumulated and have made a habit of playing out conflicts with them at least once a week
Thats kinda cool desu
>I detest My Little Pony but get off to the thought of several of the males in the show anthropomorphized and fucking me as a means of humiliation, teasing me all the while about the irony of it all
>I'm a furfag with a plush toy for a fursona
literally just kill yourself

>>37999971
Whenever I have to make a really important decision I create several personalities in my head and argue about it from distinctly different perspectives

>>38002528
I think I know you irl. Not gonna post your info up or anything, but you wouldn't happen to be M?

>>38007133
No idea what M is referring to and I don't know anyone who browses /r9k/

>>38007154
M is your first name initial

>>38007193
Nope, I don't know you.

>>37999971
I play with fidget spinners

Kill me

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>>37999971
i pee in the sink all the time so my balls touch cold metal
don't know why i do it but i do

>>38007154
>>38007293
>deny deny deny deny

English is not my native language
Sometimes I "speak" english in my head but the voice has a perfect accent and pronunciation because I try to mimmick whoever I've been listening to a lot , and I can exactly remember how does the person voice sounds like

I hear neat phrases or parts of sentences and pretend they're the titles of short stories or novels I've written.

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Obligatory "I imagine myself singing my favorite song(s) in my high school talent show" post

>>38002117
>I flip a coin to make choices.
That's actually exactly what caused the Randy Stair shooting. Seriously, he said "if I get heads, no one dies. If I get tails, I kill my coworkers. We'll do best out of three." He got two tails and a heads. And even if he did only one flip, the first one still came up tails.

Also, here my most autistic habit, as a 25 year old severely depressed aspergers NEET.
>Whenever an embarassing memory pierces my thoughts, I say out loud "SHHHHHHHH", telling my brain to be quiet and stop torturing me. I have to be careful doing it around others as to not think it's directed at them. But honestly I can't cope with such painstaking memories any other way.

>>37999971
Laugh like Spongebob (even do the rub Adam's apple for vibrato) when I do something /DEVILISH/ .

Say "nani the hell" or"nani the fuck" when puzzled. Thank god, no one has catched on to me yet.

>>38007425
That's sweet. You're a cutie

>>38007460
fag

oregeg

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>>37999971

Literally one of the most common threads on here.

You don't need to ask if it's OK

> but maybe that itself is demonstration of your autism

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>>38005516

That's more OCD than autistic

(Hint--enemas can make you LESS clean because they bring bacteria from higher up inside you, out, and it gets on your skin.)

also, frequent enema-ing is really bad for the "good bacteria" in your colon. You may regret it some day.

> TL; DR, unless you're getting rim jobs all the time, just wipe and stop worrying about how squeaky clean your shithole is...cuz it ain't

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>>38006457

I do that if I have liquifarts--much better than having a wet brown spot on your pants all day, especially if I have on light-colored pants like khakis.

> one time I went for a physical and was bending over for the prostate exam and forgot I had it in there, and the Dr had to pull out a wet brown piece of toilet paper

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>>38006541

Yeah, that's pretty normal. But then when somebody asks you what's so funny, and it's some completely arcane, fucked up thing that would take 15 minutes to explain and then they still wouldn't find it funny, is awkward.

>>38006457
why not just wipe your ass?

> after I take something off the shelf in a grocery store, I usually fix the display to where nobody can tell I took one, to help the store employees do their job.

>I always feel like someone important is watching me so I'll mumble to myself like a psycho autist and occasionally do/don't do things I normally wouldn't/would do.

>I bump threads that are long dead

>>38008936
>maybe that itself is demonstration of your autism
You're precisely right

>I associate going to sleep with manual breathing, so I start manual breathing and can't fall asleep

>>38009099
I feel almost like they know what I'm laughing at and are looking down at me because of it.

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>in a public area with lots of people
>have to constantly be screaming inside my head "DON'T LISTEN TO MY THOUGHTS LEAVE ME ALONE GET OUT OF MY HEAD IF ANYONE IS LISTENING PLEASE GO AWAY STOP LISTENING TO MY THOUGHTS"
I can't help it...

>>38002117
Ever read the Dice Man by Luke Rhinehart? It's kinda like what you're talking about but instead of a coin he throws a dice. It's pretty good to be honest.

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>>37999971
This is when I was 10
Told this story before so some of you may remember reading it

>mom picks me up on the last day of 5th grade
>tells me we can go see any movie i want
>we head to the bus
>get on, she hands me a bus pass
>get to next stop
>bus arrives
>she swipes her pass and then waits for me to get on
>i didn't see her swipe hers and i don't know how to swipe mine
>i stand there for a full 40 seconds panicking and trying to figure out how to do this
>bus driver stares at me
>people on the bus stare at me
>feel tears start to well up
>look at my mom
>she just smiles and takes my hand and shows me how to swipe it
>we sit down
>she wipes my tears and gives me a hug
>we go see a movie

she passed away 3 years ago and i've been depressed ever since

Other autistic shit I do includes:

>get really mad and upset when "friends" dick around in games instead of completing the objective

>obsessively read the same 15 books over and over

>refuse to try any new food and freak out and panic if someone puts me on the spot trying to make me

>get really nervous and anxious when i make a grammar error or a spelling mistake on a big post or message

>get really upset and angry when someone gets really logical about things i don't like, finding a job, going to school, ect

I dunno if some of those count or not but still.

>>38002117
hey man sorry i lost track of this thread what do you have to ask?

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>>38010982
>Have an idle judgmental thought about someone walking past me on the street
>They get a subtle change in the look on their face and I worry they know what I thought about them

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>>38011085
Holy shit, are you me?

12 herbs and spices

>>38011087
>>38002117
i'm going to sleep now, ask your questions and i'll answer them if the threads still up tomorrow morning.

>>38011113
What do you mean anon?

oregami

>>38011085
bretty cute story anon

>get really mad and upset when "friends" dick around in games instead of completing the objective

you play mobas don't you no fun having toxic nigger

>>38011132
I do basically all of those things (minus the books, I don't read because I'm gay, but I do watch the same youtube videos over and over)

>>38011146
Not him but I'm down to dick around as long as we're still working towards the objective. Being shitters on the mic and votekicking baddies, for instance

>>38011085
What books?
>>38011146
Stop ruining my games you nigger
Dont play ladder if you don't want to be autistic about the bloody game

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>>38011146
No I stopped playing League like 2 years ago
What I meant by that is things like d&d where my group will we have 5 quests in one direction plus a main objective but the rest of the group will spend an hour investigating fog.

>>38011165
I do that too! I just go through my history and re-watch the same ones over and over, especially random music.

>>38011207
I recently just read the Babylon 5 Psi Corps Trilogy for the 5th time, and I'm reading another Babylon 5 book for the dozenth time right now. Other books are mainly just shitty YA books that I spent my teenage years reading and can't let go of for some reason.

>i smell my ear wax, I fucking love it. Gets me euphoric
>on the wall behind my computer desk is all my boogers. I always pick, and put it on end of my finger and flick it with my other hand
>if I don't flick it onto my wall, I feel really wierd and irratiable, like a "something's wrong" feeling

>>38011237

>my wall is literally covered in hundreds of boogers of all shapes and sizes, some of them bloody

>>38005800
I literally do so even in public restrooms. And i think likely everyone.

>>38005800
i do this all the time m8
original post

sometimes after i've been sitting at my computer for a while I just get up and run and jump up and down my room. normally it's when i see something exciting but sometimes it's for no reason at all.

i mutter aloud that i should kill myself whenever i am in a private spot where no one else will hear

I make really long lists about things I like, not even ranking them or organizing things in a certain way. For example yesterday I wrote down the name of every One Piece character I could remember. I don't know why I do this, it literally serves no purpose yet it pleases me anyway.

I can forget things by saying out loud "I will never think about this again"

>>38011250
Same but also on bottom of tables

>>37999971
>enema everytime i shit
>no body hair
not even gay
>>38005797
this
when i experience double vision i bend my head to create shapes with a thing and it's "double" i am seeing.

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whenever I do something like cooking or some shit like that I explain every step like I'd be recording for a tutorial

also I talk about politics and have debates with myself

i'm probably a little fucked in the head but it's pretty fun and I only do this weird shit when I'm alone, no spaghetti in social situations

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>>38007468
I do the exact same thing my friend.

Whenever I hurt one ankle I intentionally hurt the other one

I have trouble breathing on the bus because I don't want to seem weird breathing heavily

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>>37999971
I screenshot and crop reaction images but fail to use a lot of them.

>>38011470
i do this every time but never tried to be an hero

At school, they asked us to volunteer at a blind people association.

I tried it but it was boring.
I made faces at the blind people while talking to them. It was hilarious.
And then one of the regular staff saw me.
So I had to randomly keep making faces at everyone to cover up.
They now think I'm a retard.

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>>38002232
thank you anon i haven't laughed in months

>>38004442
>It would probably make you hate me knowing i'm in a loveless relationship with a guy friend, because I flip the coin.
oregano

>>38002050
well shit that's me

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>>37999971
Before I take a shit, I'll usually inspect the toilet for insects. Don't want a cockroach/spider crawling on me.

>>38007425
that's fucking me

98654

I've constructed a massive fake backstory for myself that literally everyone in my life (excluding, obviously, my family) believes. I actively maintain and reinforce this narrative by making small mentions, appearing to genuinely mistake someone for one of the fictional characters in it, or even texting/calling myself from a second phone. I'm in so deep. I sometimes think about just severing all ties and moving away.

>>37999971
I dance and run around in the bathroom to guilty pleasure music with my headphones on

>playing inFamous 2 a couple years back
>would kill only women or strap them down on the road and leave them there

>>38014544
ew psycho

>I do halo shields sound in response to pain.

If I hit my finger in something or anything like that my mind will automatically do the "shields down" sound.

Then as I recover/Pain still present, I can almost hear the "two two two two" sound of halo3's shields down.

When pain goes away, eventually, the sound of the shield regenerationg plays in my head.

If I'm alone I may do it out loud.

>>38014563
If this is autistic then I have something
>playing bully
>beat every girl in the game
>picture their panties
I'm actually proud of this

>occasional mouth sound effects when imagining sound effects for projects
>really annoyed when a classroom is super loud
>almost jump out of a window in the middle of class

fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

>>38014544
Finally someone else. I do this as well (family doesn't know about it)

I have two of them, one female. It's made a fuckton of beer money over the years and it always feels like an adventure (I do it out of state usually)

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>R6:S is my favorite game
>Play Jaeger on Defense alot
>always go for a spawnpeek