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Ok, story time:
>Be me
>Live at home alone with my mother
>Have an older brother but he moved out years ago
>He'll be important later
>Anyway, Mom goes out of town for the weekend
>Can't remember why, but it's not important anyway
>Have the house to myself
>Remember Mom mentioning having cooked some potatoes
>Find the pot they're in and proceed to smash on boiled potatoes all weekend
>Saturday night, I'm fumbling about in the refrigerator when I find a pot
>Open it up to find cut and seasoned potatoes
>Time seems to freeze around me
>Oh shit
>Realize that these are the potatoes she left for me to eat
>Meaning I just ate her potatoes
>"Oh shit, she's going to fucking kill me!"
>Calms down, look to see how many potatoes are left
>"Maybe I can play it off."
>There are fucking 3 left
>Decides that I need to replace the potatoes
>Need to get to the Trader Joe's and buy more potatoes
>Only problem is getting there
>Can't drive (Which is another story by itself) and it's too far to walk
>Past sunset, so I don't really want to take the bus
>Probably doesn't help that the closest bus stop is a half hour walk from my house
>Mom's coming back tomorrow around noonish
>Need to do this quick and soon
>Call my brother to ask for ride
>Explains the situation
>Is strangely sympathetic to my plight
>Probably because he's pulled worse shit than this this behind her back
>Picks me up about twenty minutes later and drive me to the store
>The drive there and the actual purchasing of potatoes are both pretty unremarkable, so I'll skip it
>Brother drops me off back home
>Before he goes, I tell him that the next time he sees me may be in the obituary
>Ok, time to boil some taters
>Look up a recipe online
>Should only take 20 minutes
>Fucks up, ends taking and hour and a half
>Here I am, alone on a Saturday night boiling potatoes
>Briefly contemplates suicide but manage to persevere
>Finally have perfectly boiled potatoes
To be concluded in Part 2
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Part 2:
>Had to eat the duds to avoid suspicion
>Place them in the pot and pray that Mom doesn't notice to difference
>Fast forward to the next day
>Mom arrives
>Greet her and help her unpack
>Then proceed go to my room and wait for the inevitable
>An hour passes, nothing happens
>"No way" I tell myself "No fucking way"
>Go down stairs to see her eating a potato
>Looks at me and asks "Need anything, Anon?"
>Mfw I got away with the perfect crime
Couldn't even look at, let alone eat, a potato for a week though
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Why would she make potatoes for herself then leave town? fake story, saged.
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This was so mundane it wasn't even semi-interesting. Big deal you had to make more potatoes.
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Why would someone be this autistic over a bunch of potatoes?
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so you accidentally ate some of your moms potatoes and then made some new ones to replace them
fascinating
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>>37987053
I just needed this off my chest, man
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>>37986999
This is the worst fucking greentext I've ever read. Why the fuck would your mom give a shit if you ate her potatoes? Just fucking apologize.
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>>37987128
Exactly what I was thinking. It's an obvious mistake if she made two separate batches of potatoes and she told him that she made potatoes for him.
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