>be straight >no gf ever >get desperate >get into

>>37943945
Say your girlfriend was interested in double penetration.

>>37943960
*Or the girl that you're fucking if you don't think they'd believe you'd have a real girlfriend.

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>>37943945
Ask if they have a problem with it. The less embarrassed you are, the more socially acceptable it is. I do so much gay shit on a daily basis, but nobody even cares cause I'm confident about it.

>>37943945
If they try to talk to you about it just pick it up and start blowing it

>>37943945
your parents open your mail? thats fucked

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>buy a dildo online
>be straight
haha, lmao

say it was a gag gift for one of your friends

>>37943945
Go with the gag gift thing, it's your best option. repot back, I'm hooked.

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>>37945318
lately it's seems like /r9k/ always manage to redefine the term straight

>>37943945
Well, if it weren't already too late I would have advised you to just laugh and say it's not for me, because obviously boys don't need those.

But you definitely already fucked up you sperg and they know.

>>37944263
that's fucking badass
>do you have a problem with it?
that's the way to do it, kek will smile upon you :D

also your parents have no respect for privacy
>get job
>move out
>be happy

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>>37943945
>decide to go gay
The Hell are you talking about?
You don't decide to go gay
You don't decide to go straight
You just do gay shit or straight shit
And what you've done is gay shit

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Pack up a few bags, change your name and move country/state - start a new life because you may as well have died in this one. Its over, they know, forever.

>>37943945
If your parents are the type of people that open your packages it's time to move out. Most people have more respect for privacy than that.

say it's for your boyfriend

I also fell for the gay meme. Its fucked up my life badly.

>>37948094
Story please

I was rather succesful with women, but they're all crazy fucking whores so i fucked a trap. She wanted to fuck me, i liked it and now i am wearing thongs and babydolls for both men and women. How do youbfuck up something so simple

Tell them it's a late Father's day present and then put your sunglasses on

>sick of being a virgin
>been into traps and shemale porn for years
>even jerked off to gay porn a few times
>download grindr
>have the chance to meet up with some 19 okayish looking twinkle kind of guy
>don't do it
>get rid of grindr
>eventually lose my virginity to a female escort a year later

After being with a woman I think I'm glad I never fell fully for the gay meme to be quite honest. Or at least didn't lose my virginity to a Dude.

Although I think I'd still go for a proper tranny or real qt trap and maybe even a really feminine looking guy.

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>>37943945
Can't blame you, Opie, can't blame you...

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>>37949184
vp2c49i0391482mn95vjmghey37823z22qa

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>>37949195
123401298c4m012894v3tiertu347gyrdhn3ynu3c785netngt38n4

>>37943945
>one of my parents opened the fucking package

Who the fuck thinks its okay to open other people's mail?

>get desperate
>get into trap and gay porn
>decide to go gay

But this too is stupid. You'd rather go gay than learn how to get a gf

Show them trap and shota porn. They will understand that it's not really gay.

quickly go out and buy an identical one. then walk into the room and pick the first dildo up. when your parents try to question you about the whole thing, stick a dildo in each ear and start singing "i want to break free" by queen at the top of your lungs.

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>parents open the package

>NoFap day 4
>see OP's pic

MAMMA MIA

>>37943945

Admit that you are gay so that they can disown you , or make up a lie about how it's all a prank .But

>>37946776
Mark wouldn't act like this. Don't post his face again

the obvious solution is to blame the dog for ordering things online in your name