>>37937735
Unless it's illegal why care?

>>37937745
cos it makes me feel bad.

Not op but I might as well rant since this was bothering me today.

I was raped as a kid and now I feel "that" for a certain demographic of people. Haven't and will not do anything illegal, but you know how much it fuckin hurts to know you feel exactly like your rapist? That you can't even help it? I can't do this anymore. I might actually kill myself and I'm only 18 years old. I can't get help anywhere, we all know that, and I can't actually ACT on these urges for the dual reasons of me not wanting to physically and it being illegal anyway. I don't know what to do. Nothing gets me up faster and nothing makes me feel as bad about myself as this does. I just want it all to go away but life doesn't work like that.

>>37937943
You feel like raping children because you were raped?

if you're gurl, I'll let you have your way with me, I look like a kid even tho I'm an adult, so you will be able to fulfill your urges.

>>37938123
I don't want to rape anyone. I just feel sexually attracted to them. But if you see someone you're attracted to, obviously you want to do physical things, if you get what I mean. I'm a dude, and I was raped by a guy, so no.

>>37938255
Why not just go for a manlet then with underdeveloped body?

Men that look like children?

quit watching porn altogether and fap only when you feel naturally horny

>>37938344
I'm not gay. I'm attracted to female children.

>>37937943
>>37938255
At that point life is better off without you

>>37938380
would a woman smaller than 5 feet with flat chest be good enough for those animalistic desires?

I know a girl who is mentally ill that causes her brain to have the mental capacity of a child.

She's very small also and can't take care of herself.

Although she already had a child, I guess some guy had your fetish and went his way with her.

You should look into it though, get a midget girlfriend who is mentally retarded.

>>37938410
This isn't my fault. I don't want any of this.

>>37937735
you mean "that" *that* that?

Just don't ever act on your urges. If you feel like you can't stop yourself anymore, then please, please kill yourself.

>>37938416
I don't want to try and "agree" with the urges. I feel like if I give those urges an inch, they'll try to take a mile. I just try to ignore them altogether. I'm attracted to normal women too but this attraction seems more...raw and primal to me. I'm scared of it.

>>37938421
If you ignore it completely it won't impact your life, if you don't then you're a danger to those around you.

>this isn't my fault

Plenty of people have worse problems they had no choice in, you can't expect people to sympathize with fucking pedos.

>>37938441
delete your posts in case some faggot FBI member is trying to get a promotion.

They might use this shit against you.

>>37938255
This is almost typical of people who have been victims of abuse. Go seek help

>>37938421
>>37937943

Why do you care what society thinks of you. Realize that (you) are the center of the universe and you will find strength.

>>37938441
You realise that your urges are wrong and immoral, that's the first step.

>>37938550
But, that's bullshit because this is MY universe and you're just the NPC playing along

Stop watching, reading about, or looking at anything related to fetish stuff that turns you on. Avoid contact with it completely.

>>37938577
if its your universe then play by your rules and manipulate the enfiroment around you to fitbyour interests

>>37938498
I'm not in america.

>>37938540
And what exactly could I tell them that wouldn't put me on some sort of list? There's no one to get help FROM, that's the problem.

>>37938550
I don't care about what society thinks of me. This is a personal gripe, because I don't want to be like the person who did this to me.

>>37938557
There's nothing immoral about what I feel. Immorality comes from what I DO. I'm not going to do anything so don't think I'm one fap away from kidnapping a kid or whatever but I feel disgusting all the time.

>>37938637
>I don't care about what society thinks of me. This is a personal gripe, because I don't want to be like the person who did this to me.
Then you should not feel guilt?
You can try to not be like him, but in the end the only reason you want this is because society views your problem as immoral. Just don't beat yourself for not fitting someone's narrative.

Though you could still seek professional helo

>>37938691
There's no professional help to seek. You think everything will be dandy if I just walk up to a therapist and say, "hey, I like kids?"

I feel guilt because /I/ don't want to be like him. I don't give a fuck if society feels it's wrong. I want this out because to ME I feel exactly like the predator that took advantage of me and I don't want that. I'm not a monster. I'm a victim. Why can't my brain start treating me like one?

>>37938637
>And what exactly could I tell them that wouldn't put me on some sort of list? There's no one to get help FROM, that's the problem.
You have to tell a therapist, or psychologist exactly what you've said in this thread. That you've been through abuse that lead to these urges. There are a lot of people in your same position getting help for it and nothing happens because they aren't some thought police

>>37938729
we live in a chaotic world and you just have to accept some things or attempt to change them, but there is no reason to allow guilt and self-hate to destroy you for no good reason

>>37938735
I can't it's not that easy. People will talk. I see a therapist already for unrelated childhood problems that have come back as unhealthy mental behaviour but THIS? I have to take this to my grave. No one can know. They don't take this lightly.

>>37938763
Then what do I do? Keep fapping to the thought of it, nothing else? Abstain from it and revel in the torture? I know how the man that ruined my life before it even began felt.I feel the same feelings he did. Does. To put that feeling into words is impossible. It eats away at my insides like acid.

>>37937735
Same as quitting anything else.

You just stop.

I haven't beaten off to porn or anything weird on youtube in over a year.

>>37938729
>I don't give a fuck if society feels it's wrong

This is the line of thinking that ends in you fucking a kid.

>>37938798
Obviously feeling guilt and feeling torture hasn't helped you so far. Perhaps you need to accept yourself and try to change with less negative thoughts? And even if you don't manage to change, you should not allow those ad emotions to destroy you even more.

>>37938838
You misunderstand. I'm not saying it's right. It's my own personal hatred of this that makes me want to stop, not just because society says it's wrong. I will unironically kill myself if I even think I want to do that. I would rather DIE than do what he did to me. I'm not kidding. You know, I've turned down sex TWICE in my life because I'm terrified of reliving the experience. I don't know if I'll ever be normal. I can't smell the smells of the human body without reliving it. I can't jack off without reliving it. Have 10 seconds to myself without reliving it. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I will NEVER do what he did. Please, try and understand my position.

>>37938846
Maybe. I feel like an awful person despite this not being my fault. I feel as bad as him.

Since there are no more replies I'm going to bed. I have one request - don't forget me. Don't forget that there are people that have been hurt like I have and feel the way I do. Don't show any mercy to those that take advantage of kids, but also don't assume that someone attracted to kids is automatically a child molester, wants to, or came up with the attraction of their own volition. Please remember we exist. have a good night guys.

I'm sorry dude. Reading the thread you seem really self aware, much more introspective than most would be in your situation.
The only real advice I can give is that talking about this won't be as bad as you think. A large part of training for counsellors is empathy and compassion for people suffering, and unless they believe you pose an immediate threat to kids they could lose their license for even discussing you personally with other professionals. Although if that's your concern you could always just arrange sessions in a different city?

Good luck, it's useless to hate yourself for something you can't control

>>37937943

There is literally nothing wrong with fantasising about sadistically raping and murdering little children.

Sexual fantasies are mostly about finding pleasure and releasing tension and anxiety about certain fears. As a victim of rape (assuming this is true), you're just working through the sympathy you have for what your rapist must have been getting off to. Having THOUGHTS is not harmful to anyone. Stop falling for the cuck attitude to sexuality. The repressive attitude towards sexuality is actively evil, and does far more harm to children than good.

>>37937735
Avoid any contact with this, when the urge gets too big just fap to something common, like petite woman. I developed a fetish for small women doing this, might work for you

>tfw fantasising about teens
/r9k/ what age do you put the line on abnormality and regular attraction to sexually developed women

>>37939857
14

>tfw fap to primejailbait.com again and forget to turn the vpn on

>>37940047
don't you feel guilty about fapping to such young girls? What if it were your sister? They're too immature to make a choice to post images like that.

>>37940117
>don't you feel guilty about fapping to such young girls?
I don't feel bad about fapping to social media photos but pictures where they've made the young girl model slutty clothes and do poses does make me feel guilty. I avoid those.
I don't just fap to that kind of stuff though, I enjoy all kinds of women from milfs to niggers.
>What if it were your sister
I have two younger sisters and the thought never crosses my mind
>They're too immature to make a choice to post images like that.
Probably why I only look at the social media tier selfies and group shots.

>>37937943
Get psychiatric help. It's not illegal to have thoughts and there are people who can help you control those thoughts.