Holy shit, this happened 5 minutes ago, I'm sitting on a

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231KB, 960x686px

Holy shit, this happened 5 minutes ago, I'm sitting on a bench at the mall on my phone typing this

>Be me, 25 year old khv
>Have come to terms that I will never enjoy the company of a girl a few years ago, and have decided to just better myself to take my mind off being a virgin failure
>Work out, do martial arts, read at least a book a week, learn the harmonica
>Go to mall, need new socks
>In the sock store, hear badass jazz harmonica solo
>I must learn this
>Ask the cashier if she knows what song this is
>She says no, I ask her if she can get someone who controls the music
>She says no again
>"Listen up, shortcake, I know you have a laptop running a playlist in the back, all you have to do is go there, look at the title of the song, and tell me what that title is, or is that too complicated for a cashier to accomplish?"
>She goes in the back, brings out a 6'5 dyel turdnugget manager, asks me to leave
>I smirk, tell him he doesn't want to do that
>He turns around and says he's going to call security
>I cant go back to mall jail, they'll eat me alive there
>Roundhouse kick the turdnugget, send him flying into a pile of discount socks
>He gets up and charges at me
>Move at the last second to the left and punch him hard in the solar plexus
>Teleport a few feet to where he end up, and drive my knee in to his stomach, and also grb him and throw him lightly to the middle of the store.
>Channel my energy and enter Super State, an orange aura glows around me, and my hair turns green
>Shoot a barrage of energy blasts from my hands at the turdnugget, and anyone who tries to run out of the store, making sure to keep the energy density low enough to only tase them, not kill
>Suddenly hear the girl cashier cry out says the song was called 'When the Levee Breaks' by Led Zeppelin
>Smirk, and tell her I knew the whole time
>Revert to my normal state
>Instant teleport to a bench
>Type this out
>Press the I'm not a robot button
>Look for literally any image at all
>Find this