>go into supermarket >get cart full of items >get cashier

I point out, that if your dad couldn't be bothered to be around you when you were growing up, why would anyone else want to be?

>>37885968
Think we found the cashier lads

>Air blowing hand dryer in the bathroom
>Take a bottle of baby powder
>Unload the whole bottle basically in there
>Next time someone uses it, power explosion all over them

Take that you fucking loser

>>37885945
>be at uni flat party yesterday
>when everyone is drunk unplug the fridge and freezer

get fucked normies

>>37886076
This one gets reposted so much it's not even funny anymore. Stop being a content stealing Redditor and come up with something original yourself

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>>37885945
>go onto /Pol/
>make thread saying Trump should be impeached because Hillary got more votes

/GUARANTEED REPLIES/

>Find a nerdy, boy on /trash/
>Lead him on, (I'm male.)
>Say he's never experimented before, but he'd like to try
>I say I live in Malmo, because he loves in Oslo (Close enough so he believes me)
>He buys me Xcom on Valentine's day
>Block him on Steam and stop talking to him

Did this happen? Or did it not?

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>>37885945
>go into shoe shop
>ask assistant for several pairs of shoes
>when he goes to get them
>leave
>come back 10 minutes later
>complain about that employee saying he never got my shoes

>>37885945
>Keep making doctors appointments
>always tell them about the benifits of homeopathy

>work for student loans
>when people call asking about their application tell them everything is fine instead of looking over their accounts and working out which forms they still need to send in
>calls are never checked, complaints are never fully looked into

Job became ten times easier when I realised I could get away with this.

>waaaaahhhh!! my payments are going to be late now
>i'm terribly sorry, sir :^)

Get fucked.

>>37885945
>go into /soc/ thread
>find gay guy, fuck him

faggot diddnt know im actually straight. i led him on real good lads

>>37886914
you..you devil, you

>>37886139
>go to /pol/
>ask what "white" even means

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>>37885945
>house party next door, normies smoking weed and drinking till all hours keeping me awake in my neetcave
>go out to street dressed all in black and piss all over a couple car door handles

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>have Vegan flatmate
>replace one of their vegan sausages with a regular one


take that vegcuck

>>37886063
Hah! Top devilish

>friend slighted me the other week
>find his car
>stuff tuna into his ventilation system

>>37886139
>Go on /pol/
>Make a race bait thread aimed at "white bois"
>Reaches bump limit
Too easy

>ask girls whether they prefer black men or white bois
>unleash the results on youtube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWEpET1eLOE

Whiteboi tears are the best

>school bully calls me gay
>fuck him and tell him i diddnt enjoy it
>spread around that hes now gay

>>37886297
>go to same fast food restuarant regularly
>same friendly waitress always serves me
>write email to the franchise manager about what awful service I got from them
>next time I go there there's a new waitress

I don't know why I do it.

>go to restaurant
>receive excellent service and amazing food
>leave bad review anyway

SOMEBODY STOP ME

>>37886063
That'll probably set fire

>go into store
>complain about random employee

>>37886165
Which xcom? Either way kekd

>>37886121
Calling someone reddit is not funny anymore and overused. Come up with something original normalfag reddit poster.

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>neighbors are having a loud party and playing music
>I can detect their Bluetooth speakers
>play anime music and hear them yelling "WHAT THE FUCK" in frustration as they try to figure out why their rap has been replaced by anime OP songs

>live in london
>normie tourists always asking for directions
>purposely give wrong directions everytime
>never look back