>three years ago >filthy neet wasting life away >decide

>>37881566
nah its a lie. I did a similar thing to you.
>went to college to get degree
>better myself stop doing so many drugs
>distance self from druggie friends
>by all means have a very comfortable life now while in college
>easy job where I can sit and shitpost all night
>every day I want my life to end so that I may slip into the sweet abyss

You dont get better, you carry this with you for the rest of time. Talking might help, it might not. It might help for a while and then you're right back to where you were before. Surroundings are a huge thing within your control to help you feel better but some of us could be sitting on a pile of gold, whores, and riches and still be unhappy.

Welcome to hell. Pretty sure this was a Twilight Zone episode and it hit it on the head.

>>37881643
I don't want money or power or love or anything, man. I don't want success, I don't want fame. I don't care if I stay in this same shitty apartment working the same shitty job. I don't care if my only social interaction is going out drinking after work with my co-workers until I'm drunk enough to be social. I don't care if I sleep alone for the rest of my life. I just want to be able to be happy with whatever I have. I want to enjoy being alive. I don't know why I can't do that. I can't really talk to anyone about this, I don't trust people irl with these kinds of personal subjects and if I were to tell my parents how I felt they'd worry that I'd just give up and go back to being a loser. Am I really stuck with this forever?

All I want is to be happy, anon. Why can't I have that?

>>37881895
Your brain is broken. See a psychiatrist.

>>37881967
Will that help? I don't know if I can afford it, but if it'll help I'll start saving for one.

>>37881967
his brain isn't broken, he's just incapable of maintaining the *farts* sorry lost my train of thought

>>37881967
All psychiatrists are jewish fucktards who can't understand anything but the normie life

>>37882043
It should help. But I would advise that you research what type of illness you may have before your first appointment. It means that by the time you start, the psychiatrist can diagnose and treat you quickly. What disorders do you think you have?

>>37882043
Don't visit a psychiatrist. That guy is likely a shill.

>>37882079
No. Some people with mental disorders become psychiatrists themselves. They understand how the brain works. They know why someone would still feel like shit despite putting in true effort to change their life.

>>37882109
>disorders
I don't know. No matter what I do, where I am in life, or how I think I should feel, I'm always unhappy. It's hard to get out of bed, it's hard to sleep at night, I eat maybe once a day because I don't ever feel hungry. I'm always tired, and despite knowing that I have no reason to not be happy, I just can't be. I can fake it and do what I have to do for my job and the people around me, but I can't make it genuine. It's never genuine, it never has been. I've been like this since I was like, 10. I remember telling my mom how I felt and she got mad at me. I never talked about it after because I didn't want her to be mad. I just kept it in and thought it'd go away.
>>37882129
>>37882079
What would you suggest I do instead? I knew how to change my surroundings but I don't know how to change what's inside.

>>37881566
How long were you gone for? This shit board hasn't changed at all from what I can tell in the last 3 years or so

>>37882237
>drunk me
>in charge of reading comprehension
My point still stands though

>>37882211
That sounds like depression, but I'm not sure. I would advise you to go to a depression forum and read the posts that are made. If they match your experiences very closely, then you might have depression.

>>37881566
Yout got depression. Welcome to the club and realize what >>37881643 said is true.
Best case scenario you find an anti-depressant that doesn't have too many side effects that does its job reasonably well. But this does mean you'll have to ride the pill carousel until you find it.

>>37882273
Cont.
I did the same when i suspected i had ADD. The things I read convinced me that i wad right. 6 months later i got diagnosed and now I'm on meds.
I can actually fulfill my ambitions. I'm smarter and better than i've ever been. I actually became proud of myself. It still feels fresh as i type this even though i have been diagnosed for almost a year.

>>37881566
Depression or some other mental illness. See a psychiatrist to figure out what's up. Not just a "therapist," those are a meme.

It's all a meme. No one in this world has any agency. Society is manufactured and life is a huge lie. Everything is set up to force you to behave a certain way, and there is nothing you can do. The ability to change your life or actually take control of your actions has long since been taken away from you. At least you weren't born just a few decades earlier. Or perhaps that's the issue. The internet has given us a taste of the real freedom that society prevents us from having.

>>37882673
>Neurodiversity
Not being able to experience happiness is bad. People worked their asses off to help those with that problem. Society chose to label it as bad because it is bad.

>>37882737
It isn't wrong to be upset when you're getting fucked in the ass. Taking meds to "fix" your sadness for your poor asshole is morally abhorrent.

>>37882794
OP unfucked himself. He should not be sore anymore. The fact that he still is proves there is a problem.

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51KB, 638x800px

>>37882541
Psychiatry is a scam. Take these drugs which make you impotent and give you gynecomastia. Good goy.