>be me >13 years old, in the age where pretty much everyone

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>>37866524
>be me
>7? Maybe 8?
>want to microwave lunch
>chefboyardee.jpg
>start microwave
>dont realize door is slightly ajar
>mocrowave sounds loud as fuck
>start freaking the fuck out, crying
>beg mom to tell me what to do microwave is yelling at me
>mom runs into kitchen
>"anon really? just close the fucking door all the way"
>mfw technology scared me as a child

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>be me
>7-8 years old
>huge thunderstorm is coming outside
>go to my neighbor's yard, hang out with son who was my age
>we look at the massive thunderstorm raging miles away in the distance (we lived on a tall hill)
>friend points to tower in the distance and says "I wonder if lightning will hit that metal tower"
>I vaguely remembered some kind of meteorology documentary I watched and thought of how the tower kind of looks like some meteorology equipment
>trying to be smart, I said "that tower is called a weather microwave"
>neighbor's dad says "what? that's a cellphone tower"
>friend and dad laugh their heads off
>mfw

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>>37866607
hey you were close! (filename used for cellular transmissions)

>be me
>10
>it's raining outside
>I want it to stop so I can go outside
>have an idea
>start chanting random shit that sounded like prayer
>continue for like 15 minutes
>mfw it stopped raining and sun came out in 20 minutes
>I called my dad to tell him I made rain go away
>I thought I had wizard powers for a long time after that, to that point that I was scared of constantly being watched by secret government organizations

>be me, 10 years old
>parents were angry because I had been pushing all my rooms toys behind the door instead of tidying it up
>I cry and plan to flee home
>I get my backpack and head for the fridge to get some food
>I open the fridge find a cucumber which I put in my backpack and storm out, feeling forsaken by my very creators
>they don't even react
>they don't go looking for me
>feel furious, how could they just let me go like that?
>been walking straight away from home for 10 minutes, walked past houses I've never seen before
>find a playground with swings and shit, settle in a corner and open my backpack
>get the cucumber out and start eating it
>it's disgusting

20 minutes later I come back because I got hungry. I felt defeated.

>>37866675
I DID THIS EXACT SAME THING! I believed it until I was 10, what does it mean?

>>37867028
It means you were kids being imaginative

Be 7-8.
Before I go to bed I prayed to God that the whole world will be transformed to pokemon world. Wake up. Didn't happen and then I thought because I want something doesn't mean that everyone wants it and that's why God didn't do it.

>>37866675

I used to rain dance and chant, i think i got it from indian bullshit

>>37866582
what a rude mother jesus christ, what was wrong with her ?

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>>37866524
This is an interesting story to be honest.

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>be younger me
>thought I was a greeek god
>at recess
>incredibly windy dayy
>Stacey said she hates all this wind
>dont worry m'lady I will protect you
>put my palm up to the sky and tell the wind to stop
>it stops
>stacey is amazed.
>sucks my dick throughout middle school

>Be me
>10 years old
>Extremely quite and depressed
>Parents fear all kind of issues, from autism to whateverism
>Actually send me to a hospital 3 months to have therapy because normal kids arent like that
>Literally plan escape
>Find horrid map of the entire thing from the lobby
>Scrawl on it and make grand plans
>Don't get my planning much further than the hospital grounds as we're not allowed to leave it
>Entire BS takes almost three month before I am settled to escape
>Your parents are here to get you anon
They never told me what I actually have, the only thing I've been told is that my IQ is not below average and I am not dumb. Which is what I accused them off when the doctor and my parents refused to tell me the outcome of all the tests and junk.

>13
>doesnt know what a router looks like
hillbilly detected

>when you tried to port forward to host a game server and broke everything so you had to call the ISP dude to fix it

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>be me
>7 years old
>my little bro wants food
>"ill make you some cereal"
>take milk out of the frigde
>"I wont eat it if milk is cold"
>ok
>cereal in bowl add milk and throw that shit in to the microvawe
>HowDoesThisWork.Jpeg
>Push random buttuons and press start
>go watch tv with my brother
>Half hour or so passes
>smell something weird from kitchen
>go check what's going on
>OHGODNO
>there is smoke going out of microvawe
>ripp the power wire out of the socket
>socket is destroyed
>wait for parents to go home
>meanwhile my brother nearly died out of fear
i burned ceareal and milk
the only thing that was left in bowl was coal
>mfw my mom somehow cleaned it up and i still have that bowl

>Be me
>10
>i knew that vaginas exist
>thought that children go out of ass
i couldn't connect those facts

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>"hey, anon, what's the WiFi password"
>boot hax0r.exe
>right click Internet widget
>Internet properties initiated
>expose security numerals
Hackerman.jpg

>>37869004
>when every kid flocked to you because you could do cool animations and wordart on powerpoint

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>>37867653
Not really that interesting. 13 is not a really young age. Don't know how he couldn't tell the difference.

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>>37868676
Hearty kek
Originu

>>37869077
You don't just walk up to and start talking to a man who's pissing...
He had it coming.

>12 years old
>mom is a drug addict
>she makes me give her some of my pee so she can pass a drug test
>i do it
m-memories. h-h-hahaha..

>>37866675
Me too. I knew it wouldn't work but I was bored af and did it to pass the time

>>37869177
did she pass the the test ?

>be me
>fancy girl
>keep asking her out
>keeps saying no
>keep calling her a slag out of anger
>begin to be made fun of
>getting tiresome
>decide to stop
>still fancy her
>lightbulbmoment.jpeg
>send her an email
>says 'I think we should stop dating'
>not even dating
>say that maybe we're not right for eachother
>say that I wish it was different
>can't express feelings in words
>recently started listening to Green Day
>edgyfag.jpeg
>think of deep song
>goodridance/timeofyourlife.mp3
>add link
>I've got her
>no female can say no to that romantic message
>splooge a lot that night
>wake up next morning
>bed is sticking
>fuck
>splooged too much
>no matter
>won't bring me down
>go to school
>find her with her friends
>walk up to her
>she turns around
>boner.jpeg
>her and her friends start laughing

mfw she told everyone in the year

>>37866524
I've got something even better
>be 17 years old
>want to eat food
>am told I have to defrost some of this meat
>ok sure
>set package on the counter
>hit "defrost" then hit "meat"
>walk away
>20 min later
>"Anon what are you doing I told you to defrost this for dinner"
>get off the couch and run to the kitchen
>explain to them that setting it on the counter is how to defrost it
>my parents and my three younger siblings start laughing at me
>I legitimately thought that's how you worked the microwave
>still made fun of two years later
I'll try and find the vid of them making fun of me

>>37866524
>Be stupid kid
>Live in shit hole city where it's -20 regularly during the winter
>Hear adults saying stuff
>Don't realise they're talking about the weather
>Hear them saying minus 20
>Think they're saying mine is 20
>Still don't understand what they were talking about
>Later run into a two women at a clinic talking about the weather
>Hear "Minus 20"
>Again don't realise it's about the weather
>Interrupt saying mine is 30 to show them up with the higher number
>Walk away thinking I added something to their conversation

>>37869177
>crying over that
I have given my dad enough piss to flood a pool. I've passed every drug test for him to date.

It's not a big deal.

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This is more autism but
>had a moralfag GTA save where i tried to avoid killing people unless neccessary for missions and always drove cars normally, stopping at red lights and all

I thought being a good samaritan in one savefile would counteract my other save where I dubbed myself "terrorist CJ". I would use the sandstorm cheat to make it look like the middle east, summon army tanks and blow motherfuckers up with my rocket launcher.

>>37867105
are you me ?

aroma

>>37869767
Th-they both sound fun, desu

>be me
>age 9-10
>in bed
>think that there's a monster outside my room
>never go outside it till morning
>one night
>the unthinkable happens
>need to piss
>want to go to the toilet but scared of monster
>see bin in corner of my room
>genius.jpeg
>walk over
>whip out dick and begin pissing
>feelsgoodman.jpeg
>go back to sleep
>wake up next morning
>mum asks me why there's piss in the bin
>blame it on cat
>mfw they believe me

>>37869036
>don't even know what the router looks like

>8-9 years old
>at a friends house
>not a close friend, same age though
>only know him because our moms are friends
>watching tv with just him and his dad
>already quite awkward because they're cool and im not
>at some point the dad mentions that you cant hear if you put fingers in your ears
>try it
>can still hear the noises around me but it sounds funny
>try to act smart and say that it actually makes it easier to hear
>genuinely think its true
>at first they say no but i continue arguing
>they realize how dumb i am and stop responding
>continue watching tv thinking that i've teached them something