In this thread I will post quotations from the book Mars by Fritz

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On Fritz's family

>"My family is somewhat degenerate, and I assume that I am suffering not only from the influences of my environment but also from some genetic damage. And of course I have cancer. That follows logically enough from what I have just said about myself."

__________

On being diagnosed with cancer

>"One the one hand, it is a physical disease from which I will most likely die in the near future [...] On the other hand, it is a psychic disorder, and can only regard its onset in an acute physical form as a great stroke of luck. By this I mean that in view of my unfortunate family legacy, getting cancer was by far the cleverest thing I have ever done in my life."

__________

On Fritz's childhood

>"The world I'll begin with, then, is the one I knew as a small boy. This was a world so harmonious that it is difficult to conceive of such harmony. I grew up in a world so completely harmonious that it would make even the most dyed-in-the-wool harmonist's hair stand on end. [...] The consequences of this were horrendous."

__________

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On philosophy and indecision

>"For the philosopher, the true intellectual may well be a man who considers every question in all its different aspects and therefore never comes to a decision and never acts. In the purely philosophical realm, that may be appropriate, but it seems equally clear to me that a man who does nothing but think and who is too clever to stoop to anything so gross as action will be a failure in life. The opinions of a man who never does anything but examine issues "thoroughly" and who never takes a stand on them are ultimately useless, and they collapse like a house of cards. But how was I to see that when I lived in a house of cards myself?"

__________

On Fritz's family's guiding principle

>"I would describe my family's situation like this: We did nothing and said nothing and fought for nothing and had no opinions and spent our time being amused by other people who were ridiculous enough to do, say, or thing something. [...] The less you do the less ridiculous you will be. We adhered to this principle, and it contributed greatly to making me respectable and miserable."

__________

On remaining an observer in life

>"It was fun to watch life pass by. But that is just the point. Life passed by in front of us. It took me years to realize that the streets were interesting. All I knew about them was that they were picturesque and that you could see striking types there. It never occured to me that when I was on the street I was a type, too. I've often looked at the streets as though it were a stage set, and taken in all the people going about their business. But I had no business there besides watching other people go about their business."

__________

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On the consequences of detachment

>"My sense of the street as my own private theater had one horribly consequence for me. Because all I did was look people over on the street, not with sympathy but critically and condescendingly, I automatically assumed that they looked at me the same way. Whenever anyone glanced at me on the street, I took for granted that the glance was critical and that the person had seen something objectionable about me. And since I interpreted every glance this way, I began to fear that people must be finding a great deal wrong with me. I was afraid that y clothes were dirty or mussed or that, unbeknownst to me, I was carrying about some kind of public nuisance with me."

__________

On Fritz's anxiety around girls

>"I found it particularly painful when girls glanced at me. Since it had never occurred to me to look at girls admiring and since I had always kept a lookout only for what was ridiculous in women, I assumed that they did the same with me. [...] I was incapable of interpreting even friendly glances as anything but expressions of criticism and displeasure. Every smile struck me as sarcastic and derisive. I hardly need say that I didn't smile back."

__________

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On young Fritz's isolation in highschool

>"At the opening ceremony for new students, the rector of the Gymnasium told us, after he had explained the basic structure and curriculum of the school, that the best thing about our Gymnasium years would be that we would form true friendships there, many of which would last all our lives. I had no idea, as the rector was saying this, just how thoroughly prepared I was to prevent this prophecy from coming true."

__________

On young Fritz's distaste for the physical world

>"My body was alien to me, and I didn't know what in the world to do with it. I was quite at home in that dubious world of the "higher things," but I was afraid of the brutality and primitiveness I sensed lurking in the physical world. I didn't enjoy physical activity; I thought myself ugly; and I was ashamed of my body. [...] It bothered me that I felt no tie between my body and the rest of the physical world, and the outward form this uneasiness took was excessive modesty. Not only did I avoid all physical contact, but I even avoided using words that referred to the body and its sexuality."

__________

On young Fritz's hypersensitivity

>"Like all shy people, I was horribly ashamed of the fact that I blushed so much and thus revealed my inner state for everyone to see. Because I was afraid of blushing, I fought fire with fire by deliberately inducing it. Whenever I realized, either in conversation or in class, that a topic that would make me blush was coming up, I staged a desperate diversionary action with my handkerchief, wiping away imaginary sweat or simulating a sneezing fit. Hypersensitive as I was, these painful incidents could only become more frequent, and I began to blush in situations that needn't have been embarassing to someone of my excessive shyness."

__________

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On young Fritz's purity and vulnerability

>"I was so vulnerable and so afraid of being wounded because I had not been taught how to be vulnerable. All I had been prepared for was to remain eternally inviolate and pure."

__________

On young Fritz's relationship with classmates

>"Despite the fact that I was generally regarded as an outsider and a weakling, my classmates still accepted me. They didn't particularly enjoy me, nor did they find my particularly offensive. My place among them was quite clear: I was not a spoilsport, but it was taken as granted that I would not participate in my schoolmates' activities. I wasn't excluded from what they did, I just didn't take part. I got along well with everyone and didn't have any enemies, but I didn't have any friends, either. I was a rather nondescript entity that evoked neither strong sympathy nor antipathy from others."

__________

On young Fritz's occupation with "higher things"

>"In one respect, my existence as an outsider had certain advantages. It was clear that I occupied myself with "higher things." This was primarily evident in the fact that I was more boring than my classmates. But on the other hand it must have given me a certain air of distinction. My classmates found it not only ridiculous but also curious that I never swore, that i kept away from anything gross or impure, and that I remained excessively well-mannered in all circumstances."

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>>37847822
Bump bump baby

Who is this guy op? Very interesting.

Bumping this thread too

You still here OP? I relate to a lot of this stuff and would like to read more.