>be me >27, still living with mommy >spend all night

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>be me
>27, still living with mommy
>spend all night playing Overwatch competitive
>realize as I reach grandmaster that i'm finally doing something fulfilling with my life
>decide I want to celebrate with tendies
>scream for mommy as loud as I can
>MOMMY MOMMY TENDIES IN MY TUMMY
>mommy comes upstairs in a nice dress and make up on
>nottendiesattire.jpg
>"i'm going out big boy, but don't worry, mommy's friend will look after you"
>some girl called Wendy comes into my den
>she's 3 years younger than me, yet she's my slave for the night so I think i'm doing better in life
>mommy leaves and Wendy asks if I want food
>drops it on me that she's vegan
>poo poo my pants just at the thought of vegetables
>as Wendy is cleaning my bum bum, I remember my victory tendies
>I'm laying on my back, naked, in the bath as Wendy is using the shower to clean my poo poo
>assume mommy told Wendy how I live, so telling her what I want to eat is wasting precious time
>I shout FOOD in her face and spit on her a little because I thought it'd make my pee pee hard (it did)
>Wendy gets up and says she's making vegetable soup
>probably toxic
>scream with my big boy voice
>WENDY WENDY MAKE ME TENDIES
>she keep refusing and I keep screaming at her (pee pee is at full big big now)
>WENDY WENDY MAKE ME TENDIES
>white goo comes out my pee pee
>Wendy is clearly disgusted
>goes to kitchen to make tendies
>she hands me my victory food while I'm still in the bath
>I see stains on her shirt where she must have thrown up on herself, probably in disgust
>contemplate how I'll celebrate when I hit Top 500