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I cannot talk to my parents. It makes me angry for some reason. I talk to other people, but I fake being normal because it's easier than rudely ignoring them or explaining myself.
I don't know what to do, just thinking about them makes me furious and I want to kill myself. The thing is, they haven't done anything wrong. On the contrary, they're the best parents one could wish for. It's just that I'm a huge failure and I can't lie to them. I can't fake being normal with them, because they know and there's no point for me to do anything, including talking. Therefore it makes me super angry that I have to talk to them, because it reminds me that I have to live this life reluctantly since I don't have the guts to kill myself.
Having to live a life reluctantly and going through the chores and effort without having anything to gain from it makes me incredibly angry.
Is there anyone else who feels this way?
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>>37798096
It's because you're ashamed. They've seen you at your worst. I don't know what it was, but you do. They're still convinced they love you and don't understand why, since you hate yourself most of all.
You have to rid yourself from their lives. It'll be better for them, and it'll be better for you.^ my life above
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>>37798284
>They've seen you at your worst.
Wow, that makes a lot of sense. I did start uncontrollably crying multiple times and telling them to just kill me repeatedly until I ran out of energy to speak.
>You have to rid yourself from their lives.
That crossed my mind and I am pursuing that path (reluctantly since there is nothing for me to gain). But it is difficult, because I cannot pull off the required things to do that due to my current situation. It just seems exponentially hopeless without the option of giving up.
Thank you and it might seem selfish, but it feels good to know that someone else feels the same.
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