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Now here is the story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
Now I'd like you to sit right over there
So I can tell you how I turned from a 24 y.o. khv to a backstabbing bastard who has to decide between a relationship material grill and a fuckbuddy for the next 6 months.
>be me
>24 y.o. khv studying mech. engineering
>share an appartment with my 2 best friends of 13 years, be like family by now
>be a bitter robot, lurking on r9k, hating the world, women, and myself
>be trying to drown the painful lack of social interaction by immersing myself in my studies
>be unable to convince myself that I don't need human/female warmth anymore as of lately
>try to go on a few dates here and there; zero success; literally get told by a grill that she hates when virgins try to approach her -> complexes ensue -> downward spiral
>get half a kiss in a dare as in "you kiss anon, and we buy you a drink"
>be M, one of my roommate buddies: good looking, be hopelessly in love with a tindermatch (let's call her J) 500km away who has been leading him on with false hopes for a year, despite me trying to convince him that she's bad news
>one day M gets her to chat me up on FB so I can see that "she's actually pretty nice" and not a manipulative bitch at all
>try to be brutally honest with her, she reciprocates, end up being completely open and onest to each other. She too is a virgin (at the age of 21), hates partying and drinking just as me, shares my love for the lord of the rings movies
>text for days and weeks to come; apparently she never had any feelings for M at any time; start to fall for each other because we both never had anyone to be able to talk that honestly and open with
>M gets suspicious, pissed at times as he notices that I'm hiding something; can't stop chatting with her because it was the first time I felt accepted for what I was.
1/?
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>M gets suspicious, pissed at times as he notices that I'm hiding something; can't stop chatting with her because it was the first time I felt accepted for what I was.
>finally admit that we like each other and want to meet, despite M; be in full rose-tinted glasses mode, be thinking she's the only chance for happiness for pathetic guy like me.
>I go for half a year to another city for my internship, she starts university with all of the partying and drinking that goes with it; become anxious as I realise that she could get any guy she wants if she wanted to, with alcohol (and her lack of experience with it) possibly facilitating things; become paranoid due to non-existent self-esteem
>things go full emotional rollercoaster: she goes crazy because of the smallest things just to turn more lovey dovey than ever before the following day
>november 9th: trump gets memed into presidency; she ends everything due to it being "too much, too distancy, too complicated because of M"
>be completely broken having the feeling that I've lost the only chance for happiness in my life; still try to be "civil" and "stay friends" with her
>start going to the gym, start drinking, start trying to go to bars/clubs in the new city with the few new friends i found there in a futile attempt to reinvent myself and change SOMETHING
>a few months later she tells me how she found a bf, lost her v card with him and how amazing sex with him is; hurts as hell as we wanted to lose our virginities together back then; lose last bits of hope
>around this time M tried to visit her as a surprise to finally meet the girl that fucked with his head for such a long time (turns out she's been sending him "i love you"s the whole time); get unsurprisingly rejected; blames me for sabotaging them, wishes a painful death for me
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>be on my lowest low; start viewing the internship city as my personal vegas ("what happens in vegas..."); start watching PUA-seminars as a way to deal with this shit; too anxious to try out anything of it
>get a match with a cute gamer grill (let's call her S) on tinder; "fake it till you make it" to the max in regards of self-esteem; make out on first date, second base on the second, she rides me on the third one;
>confess to her that she was my first on the fourth date; apparently she thought it was sweet and she didnt understand how it took that long for me
>realise that J wasn't the only one in the universe capable of liking me, that it's possible that I'm not an absolute piece of trash i thought i was; become dangerously close to catching feels for S, but due to me having to move back to my university town the following day it would be quite unwise...
>march '17: be back in uni town, notice that M ignores me completely and my other roommate buddy only says the bare minimum
>i fucked up: J gone, S gone, fucked up the two best friendships of my life
>fast forward to today: another tinder ONS in an catholic female dorm, a failed friendship with benefits (she claimed she couldn't keep a cool head with me), and now i have a netflix'n'chill evening coming up with one grill, another one expects a fuckbuddy-relationship; with my two roommates hating my guts it wouldn't work out anyway as they would sabotage me as soon as they find an opportunity
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4/4
In the meantime i confessed everything i did to M. For one moment he showed some amount of understanding ("you were in love; the manipulative bitch played us both") but went back to despising me 5 minutes later. The atmosphere in our apartment is as toxic as ever. I feel as miserable as ever as I am truly a treacherous piece of shit who backstabbed his best friend for the possibility of getting some pussy. I would gladly turn back time to not accept J's first text. I would give anything to make it right again, but alas, it seems like i fucked up for good.
Now I'm apparently trying to drown this feel of worthlessness by catching up with everything i missed in the 24 pathetic years of my life.
What do we learn from this?
1: bros b4 hoes
2: bros b4 hoes
3: BROS B4 HOES DAMMIT
4: no, seriously, a good friend is worth a thousand times more that a grill
5: if you get dumped, if you are broken, if your heart is torn to shreds: use this frustration to build yourself up anew. Change something. Let the rage fuel you
6: "fake it till you make it" works
7: it IS a numbers game
8: women don't make you happy
Ask me anything
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get the fuck out, honestly. you dont belong here, not anymore
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>>37794247
at least you realise you were a cunt, more than i can say about my "friend"
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>>37794643
OP here:
is there anything he would be able to do to make things right again, assuming he truly regretted it?
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>>37794789
apologising to me and the other person involved, admitting fully how much of a cunt he was. that would be enough for me. but he's another person now
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you're a dick but your friend's a little bitch lol
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>>37794247
It's the same story with every sex seeking degenerate. You and all the rest have no purity or patience. You just envy the sin they have. Time and time again worldly people are disappointed by worldly people. Shocking
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>>37795077
I can't deny that I indeed envied the social life, the love and the sex of other people. As I said, I used to deny it, but some day I just couldn't anymore.
>>37794945
oh, how I wish it would be that easy.
Thread posts: 11
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Thread images: 7