well robots, i know you'll call me a faggot and a liar,

>>37782516
Ye, I wanna hear this

>>37782516
>now, during his time in prison Dave became """""born again"""""" and literally became the most pouis man i have ever known
>he makes Randi has 5 children, all are terribly behaved
>there are many instances of their children causing a scene, but i'll talk about that later.
>i should mention Dave has some siblings that are important, a brother, Terry, hes a great guy, a sister, Susan, she is a lovely lady, and another brother, Greg, he died at 14 from Cancer, his family still keeps all of his toys(remember that for later)
>so, we'll focus on Susan, she, being the free thinker she is, decides to marry a Jew
>ill just say it right now, ive got nothing against jews(that joke in the OP was just that), but Dave, since he was all """"""born again""""""" starts making all these death threats towards his own sister.
>her Fiancee, Alex, decides to just talk with Dave, to show him that hes not a bad guy.
>apparently it didnt go so well
>any ways, Alex and Susan get married and have a kid, they name him Josh(good kid, went to his barmitzvah)
>i dont know if this next part is entirely true, but when the doctor was going to do the circumcision, and while he was doing it. Randi and Dave BROKE INTO THE ROOM AND STOLE THE BABY.
>the craziest part was that Randi was pregnant herself.
>now apparently they didnt get out of the hospital
>Alex, Susan, and especially Terry were beyond enraged
>Dave got 8 years, but Randi again was scott free cause of her baby.
that is the second tale of infamy, want more.

also im sorry that im a terrible writer,

I wanted to go to bed, but I want to finish the story. Hurry up, please.

>>37782974
so be it, i shall tell the tale of, the toy.
>so, Terry goes on to have his family, and Susan as well
>Randi, well, she already has 3 kids at this point, and is trying to raise them all with no job of her own.
>literally her only source of income is the money that Dave makes in prison and Welfare
>this causes her kids to be completely unhinged
>theres way too many instances of them being too rowdy, but there is one little pet peeve they have that is important to the story
>they will steal ANYTHING
>if you tell them they cant have something, they will hurt themselves and you just to get it
>so, time passes, and Dave gets released after his sentence.
>and the very first thing he did was get Randi pregnant AGAIN
>i truly feel sorry for that woman, she doesn't deserve all this insanity in her life
>so, since Dave's very naive parents thought that he was truly reformed this time, they invite
all their children back to their old house in hopes of mending past transgressions
>Terry isn't having any of it, but reluctantly goes.
>this was the first time Terry had seen Dave's children since they were born, and Dave since his sentencing.
>now this next part is truly why i like living the life of a robot.
>when Terry stepped into the living room he had known since his childhood, he saw this exact scene
>Dave, was being bitten by one of his children, and the child drew blood. while one child was hiding behind his mom in fear of Dave, and the last child was sucking on the pregnant belly of Randi
> i aint shitting you
>when Terry saw that, he told me something ill never forget
>"that was not my brother on my couch, that was a pathetic excuse of a family, that i deeply regret is related to me"
>after that, he just walked out.
>but, after Dave had left, Terry wanted to see Greg's room
>everything was in order, except for one thing
>a special batman figurine was missing
>one of Dave's wretched children had taken it
>apparently, they still have it.

>>37783376
Terry allegedly wanted to hire a hitman on Dave, whose location is unknown at the moment. because that figurine was the most prized possession of both Greg and Terry. thats all the stories i have for now.

i just hope that men like Dave stop existing

that was a shit story and waste of time