To Eli, I would like to start by apologizing when you did what

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To Eli,
I would like to start by apologizing when you did what you did I had only my instinct to react. The only time anyone has done anything similar was when they tried to manipulate me to further their own goals, I was not used to someone doing it in the interest of my well being, to me this was a completely foreign concept to me. I would like you to know that what I had said earlier was true and I do believe it. You are in fact a wonderful person it is I who is nothing more than a bother. You have done everything in your power to help me and I took it all for granted because I was an idiot, and I was afraid. I hope you know that you in the long run did the right thing I just believed that you deserved this much for being there for me. I'm sorry, you were the first person to show me compassion and I didn't understand and I guess I still don't but I want you to know that I don't blame you for anything that I'm going to do and I don't want you to blame yourself. Please forget about me and go out and be happy do me that much. Please whether I survive this or not I want you to know my final thoughts, you won't be hearing from me again. I'm sorry
Dylan