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Does anybody else have a problem with dodgy people?
>be 21
>kind of got a thing for a 19 y/o girl I go to college with
>she goes on vacation for a few weeks with her family
>from what her friend says she has a thing for me too
>girl says she wants me to visit her at her work so she can give me a hug before she leaves
>talk with her during her break, goes great, I go to hug her but it seems forcefully reciprocated like she didn't want to
>figure whatever, she always seemed a little nervous
>she gets back from vacation
>invite her to go out to eat with a friend of ours
>she declines
>alright whatever
>a couple days pass, ask her if she wants to go to lunch
>going out to eat is regular friend stuff, I've been careful not to come off as if I want something more just in case
>no reply
I'm usually secure about these things. People do have lives outside work, and they do have other friends. I sometimes blow people off unintentionally because life happens. But this happens every time I find someone I like, so my mind is running around in loops trying to figure out if I did something wrong.
Who else has similar problems?
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Maybe she's just extremely introverted, OP. Give it some time and message her about lunch again, maybe it will work out, maybe it wont.
Women can be timid creatures.
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>>37762723
>Maybe she's just extremely introverted
I thought about this but I just don't know man. There's a few other interactions we've had that had yielded similar behaviors from her, she always hesitates hugging me specifically but everybody else including guy friends is no problem.
It's just me. She's outgoing when we're with other people, but there's a noticeable level of timidity when it's just us two. I bought her coffee while we hung out at starbucks once and she seemed like she was holding back.
This does bug me. I'm a good looking guy, generally confident, but I've only had a couple girlfriends, almost every time I tried to go farther I just ended up losing them and never talking to them again. So the problem is, after so many tries and fails, it makes me wonder whether the problem is more or if it's other people.
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>>37762666
Don't ever solely focus on just one girl. It's a death trap and your mind will create fantasies about her and somehow convince you that she's the most special girl ever. She's not
Women are flaky, it's in their nature. Always best to be talking to at least 2 girls at once so if one flakes it never gets you down
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>>37762666
she's really a mafia kingpin and doesn't want to see you hurting
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>>37762953
This is good advice.
Women want you to be occupied. You need to appear valuable, and busy.
See more than one girl at a time. At the very least, take it as an opportunity to sharpen your interpersonal skills.
If you're seeing someone consistently, don't be too available. Set a date, and cancel a couple hours after for a reason that makes you appeal affable and well-liked. Apologize, and set something else up.
Women will take advantage of you and try and keep you as a backup guy if it seems like you're going to be single for a long time.
Be prepared for shit-tests.
Understand power-dynamics, etc.
These are the sorts of things I wish my father taught me.
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>>37762666
didn't read your post but that image turns me on
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>>37762953
plus 1 on this. don't appear to come off as over- eager. be nonchalant
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>>37762723
>Maybe she's just extremely introverted
bullshit, this is what everyone always says (it's never true)
OP, just find a girl that actually likes you (easier said than done). it'll save you a lot of stressing over this passive chick that'll probably end up letting you down because of her own baggage and/or her not liking you.
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>>37762953
one hundred percent correct
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