Eh? You've never seen a pair of breasts before? And you're

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I-I-I-I-I-I bet you wanna see my vagina too! You pervert! W-W-Well, we're already this far! Might as well! I'm not wearing p-panties anyway!

S-S-S-So, what do you think? ...Well, I guess that ragin' 'rection in your pants answers THAT question! HAHAHAHAHA! Y-Y-You're such a pathetic pervert, user! I-I-I-I bet it's the first one you've seen since you slid out of your mother's! L-L-Look how wet it is, too! Jeezums fucking Crikes, it's so fucking wet! I-I've never seen it this wet before! Look what you're doing to me, you freaking pervert! Y-You sure know how to make a girl all hot and bothered! Oh, lordy! Christ-on-a-stick! You'd better take some r-responsibility for this! A-After all, when it's this w-wet, it's much easier to cram something up there! And I'm leaking like a freaking sieve here! You'd better p-p-p-plug it up RIGHT NOW!

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>tfw she wouldnt get further than half of the first post
>tfw i cant imagine someone having a genuine crush on me
>tfw i would help her dress the moment she puts her honkers in my face
>tfw id start calling her names

>tfw i will just manipulate and ruin every chance i get because im just too far off

>>37732510
>>37732538
nice copy pasta stupid

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>>37732510
Great thread, my friend.

Whoever thought stuttering is sexy should be shot.

Eh? You've never seen a penis before? And you're HOW old?! J-Jeez! Ahahahah! W-Well, we'd better fix that, then! Just close your eyes for a sec, aaaaaaand...

HERE! BOING!

AHAHAHAHA! You should have seen the look on your face! J-Jeez, anon! Th-Th-They're just a stick of flesh and sacks of semen on my groin, ya know! Does it really e-excite you THAT much?! G-Get a look at this, then! See how it swings around! woosh woosh! I-I bet you want to squeeze it too, don't you, Ms. P-p-perverted Virgingirl Anon?! G-Go right ahead! ding my dinging donger as much as you want! Take your time! Heck, s-suck on 'it too! I know you really want to~! Just be careful; my dick is super hard right now!

i remember someone narrating this, does anyone have that vocaroo?

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>>37732510
I haven't seen boobs before, but I've felt them. Bare ones, with consent.

Pretty cool albeit slightly anti-climactic. Not disappointing, but they're not like the most amazing thing in the world. If I had the choice between a bowl of good spaghetti and feeling tits for a minute, I'd pick the spaghetti. Longer lasting boner that way, too.

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>>37732918
Imagine the lengths you would have to go to as a dude to never see your dick.

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>>37733007
I've never seen them or felt them, they look pretty rad though.
As a khv the idea is enough to get me honestly.

How does one go about seeing a pair of breasts? Consensually and without going to a strip club, I mean.

I see this copy pasta all the time, can someone please make a part 2, seeing these same two posts over and over again is boring.

>censored for beta virgins
The censored-porn fetish will dominate the world!

must be hard being a guy, never seen boobs before? fuuuck....that's depressing :/ my new motto is ''but think about all the virgins on r9k'' instead of hungry african kids

where can i support your charity?

>>37732538
>>37732510
thank you, I missed kogasaposting

>>37733142
>find girl
>meet girl
>attract girl
>kiss girl
>take girl to a private place
>undress girl

>>37732510
can someone PLEASE take this to /d/ and get a qt femanon to vocaroo it PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I'm literally giving my penis CPR because it went dead just from the thought alone of getting to hear a girl actually say this pasta out loud

>>37733094
I've never kissed a grill beyond when I was in Kindergarten. There was this slut I used to work with. She wanted me to fugg, but I'm too smart to fall into that trap. Nuh uh, this dick is for christian women in the sanctity of marriage.

>>37733007
how did you not see them at all?

>>37733061
you mean
>imagine the circumferences you would have to be as a dude to never see your dick

>>37732510
>burgers aren't allowed to go topless on a beach
Sad!

>>37735371
We were outside of the Little Caesars we worked at, she let me feel under her bra.

Hnnggg. This was like... maybe like 5 months ago? I was still 17, and I've since been baptized. She was one of the more interesting obstacles. Thank God, literally, that I didn't dick her, but I get insane boners when I think about the fact that I could have.

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>>37732637
>TFW you know that feel

Being shy to love hurts

>>37735454
I love that he's alone, it really completes this OC.

>>37735440
>I've since been baptized
how many cousins do you have?

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>>37732538

kek'd at the filename, but OP is still trying to win the Most Autistic Faggot award prize of the week.

>>37735489
Lots, idk since my family is a wreck so I don't speak with most of them. At least 20 or 30 on my mom's side, and none on my dad's side. Well, none but one who doesn't have a father.

She's cool, but let's just say /pol/ wouldn't find it surprising that she doesn't have a father.

Now, if you're implying that I felt up one of my cousins, even if that were the case (it's not), my mom is the bastard child of some dude, so I'm not even fully related to any of my cousins since all my mom's siblings are half siblings.

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>>37735489
Also, I'm Catholic not baptist or anything. Catholics don't feel up cousins.

>inb4 "you feel up children though"

>>37735521
No implications of wincest, I just wanted to know how many cousins you had. I expected a lot. I was not wrong.

Also congrats on the negress if that's what you meant.

female sexual equipment is overrated

>>37735551
Yeah I figured you were Catholic.
It's ok vato

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>>37735564

sex is overrated.
and non-straight sex is even more overrated

>>37735554
Yup. I was talking about my one cousin on my dad's side, not the girl I felt up. The girl I felt up was white. Honestly, I was smitten, looking back she was like a 7. 4-5 face, 9-10 body.

>>37735572
I think mexicans are the way to go for me, honestly. I love mexican food, mexican culture is pretty good with the family values, and they're extremely Catholic. Why waste my time on American women when I know that they'll end up cheating on me? Hell, this bitch I felt up was fucking dudes while she was saying that she loved me. I mean, it's a fucked mindset.

I think she's pregnant now (at 17 lol) which is why I thank God that I didn't fuck her because I'd be in hell for 9 fucking months.

>>37735551
>Catholics don't feel up cousins.
only little boys

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>A cute girl will never be so attracted to you that she starts stuttering and making corny jokes

INFERIOR
BETA
MALE

>>37735641
>this bitch I felt up was fucking dudes while she was saying that she loved me
That sounds like an awkward situation for everyone there.
>at 17
Damn she must really be 4-5 face then, that's late.

>>37735670
le meme again, lel

>>37735670
I knew it was coming.

Although, I'm going to be a counselor at this Catholic camp in a few days, and I'll say this much, they don't fuck around with that shit anymore. I have no clue what it used to be, but I literally sat down for 3 hours with all the other counselors while they went through everything about sexual assault. Obviously not just "don't fuck kids", it was more about prevention and detection.

Everybody that works in any capacity for the Catholic Church has to do it, too. And ours was cut down, uncut it would be about 4 hours.

>>37735697
it's not a meme when it actually happened lots

>>37735686
Yeah, I prepped the bull haha. No, but she was talking about how she loved me and wanted to have sex with me and all this shit (to which I politely declined), and then I come to find out she had sex with a dude within days of her saying that. Like, what the fuck mang. But, yeah, if I'd fucked her, she would claim that it was me, and then I'd have to wait 9 months for a DNA test. Fucking hell that thought scares me.

>>37735710
I can only imagine how that must be. I'm assuming 99% of the people feel some kind of... shame or embarrassment by association?
t. blackbot that doesn't like dindus

>>37735715

it was a jewish-driven scandal because John Paul II opposed US wars.

>>37735761
of course the catholic church would never do anything wrong, what am I even saying

>>37735715
Catholic counselors are absurdly scared about pedos and will be the first ones to have them arrested before Jews start some new scandal (as it's happening in Guam, the pedobishop -also involved in a cult- was outed by raging Catholics)

>>37735710
I'm glad they circumcised your sexual assault meeting.

>>37735760
Nah, I mean, it shouldn't happen at all, but look, we're an organization comprised of almost 2 billion people. There's gonna be fuck ups, there's going to be people not doing the right thing and excommunicating people that do that.

I'm glad there was public scandal over it so that a crackdown occurred. But, while the relocating of priests was bad, the molestations happened at the same rate as school molestations. Which is to say, awful people exist and I should know, my grandmother is one of those kinds of people.

>>37735761
Nah, it was a real scandal. Unfortunate as it was, it happened, and I'm glad we're doing things about it.

>>37735804
>>37735761
da jooos did it
do you ever get sick of this narrative?

>>37735750
Yeah I knew what you meant mang. Fuck that noise tho.

>>37735812
I don't think they cut out any of the sexual assault parts, mostly weird internet stuff that we already know about. To Catch a Predator type things that wouldn't apply at camp since no internet or cell service.

>>37735815
yea but like when I see nigs nigging, I'm like fug that's my people that are being retarded and i feel bad in a weird way

>>37735845
>that's my people
but it isn't.
Do you have any sort of commitment to these people?

>>37735819
Oh hell yeah. I'm not having sex with a girl until I marry her. After that, the gloves and clothes are off. I'm glad that I'm Catholic, too, because you can't divorce as a Catholic. I mean, in the legal sense you can, but you'd be hard-pressed to be in the Catholic church if you married anyone else. You'd essentially be committing adultery every time you fucked someone else.

And I haven't masturbated since I've become Catholic. Boy was it hard, pun intended, at first, but it's not even an issue now. Until you get a boner thinking about the sex you exchanged with the slut you felt up.

>>37735845
Nah, don't feel bad about that. As /pol/ would say it's da joos.

Cultural Marxism makes us feel connected to our racial make-up as if it's even a factor. It's really not.

>>37735818
good goy, you're free to believe the narrative you most like and ignore the facts, but whatever.
no anti-Catholic militant ever changed his mind because facts and reason.

>>37735944
What facts?
And what evidence supports those facts?

Good goyim, just eat up any narrative sold to you.

>>37735884
yea i know it's not my people, that's what i mean.
like, when you fine upstanding hwite gentlemen see other (((whites))) doing stupid shit like occupy muh dik or whatever, it's like that

those aren't my people

>>37735900
yo in all seriousness, are you high my dude?

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>>37732510

Since your into weird shit OP, want me to post my "Awkward sex" folder?

>>37735997
No, I'm like the squarest guy you could meet. I think my parents would almost rather me drink or something so they know that I'm normal.

I think I'm just in a chill mood today.

these kind of threads only happen because porn is so mainstream

>>37736029
oh ok i was just wondering cause you were straight blogging lol
thats cool tho i read it

>>37735761
Its actually pretty odd that /pol/locks are so quick to cry about supposed Jewish conspiracy but will completely ignore an actual conspiracy involving the systematic sexual abuse of children when the perpetrators are European and North American Christians.
If some rabbis got caught doing even a fraction of what Catholic priests have been caught, tried and convicted by courts of doing to little boy butts, you'd be organizing the Holocaust 2.0.

>>37736035
You only happened because porn is so mainstream

>>37736059
It's a meme you dip. I mean, dude, nobody on /pol/ is actually like that in real life. I'm a far right guy, but that's mostly because of issues like abortion and stuff.

>>37736052
Yeah, I'm very writey today. I have to think of a speech sort of thing on how prayer has affected my life. I know the basic outline, but I'm going to be speaking to like 120 kids aged 10-14, so it's not easy. But I think I've got it down.

>>37736160
>speaking to like 120 kids aged 10-14
dios mio
fuck that.
i believe in you anon

>>37736180
Yeah it fucks me up, but I've learned to fake charisma and confidence. Hopefully I can get me a Catholic waifu while I'm up there, but I ain't gonna get my hopes up.

>>37736160
>It's a meme you dip.
as a meme, it's beyond tired, the only reason it's not dead as fuck is that it doesn't really go off with the reddit audience on reddit.

>nobody on /pol/ is actually like that in real life
well, I would not say that at all. You have to admit that exposing yourself to such narratives for hours every single day must have some sort of impact on the way you interact with people and your views of them.

>I'm a far right guy, but that's mostly because of issues like abortion and stuff
so you're one of those meme immigration pseudo right wingers?

>>37736077
parents didn't need porn to know how to make babies

>>37736059
in my country every single lawyer and journalist (and even the apprentices) know that Jews run things and that if you ever mention it your career is doomed.

conspiracy theorists just exaggerate a few facts to make them proportional to their nightmares.

while it's true that pedo circles infected a number of priests (most of them sporting a gay background, but this news is taboo as well), while it's true that most of the lawyers and firms fighting the Catholic Church were actual Jews (but you're "antisemitic" if you notice it), it's also true that the Official Narrative pointed out that they were priests without telling that any other category of workers has at least the same pedos share (for example, you would be quite worried about numbers in the entertainment industry).

>>37736257
No, as far as immigration I'd have to say I'm pro-immigrant and anti-immigration. Meaning immigrant are great as long as we don't let too many of them in. It's like watering a plant. You want just the right amount of water. Too much, and the plant dies, too little and the plant dies.

As far as being exposed to /pol/, I did have to take a break because I found myself becoming racist.

>>37736313
I mean, dude, there were priests that molested kids and there were times where they weren't kicked out or even kept away from children because the Church didn't want a public scene.

That being said, it was a tad overblown, but good, it made the Church change. The Church may be holy, but it's possible for humans to err.

>>37736257
>exposing yourself to such narratives

this is also true for porn - not limited to insertion of human/plastic penises in some human holes.

I clearly remember the moment when I was 7 or 8 and after a number of tv shows I learned the lesson that "if a couple is dating then it has to have sex".

>>37736386
>I clearly remember the moment when I was 7 or 8 and after a number of tv shows I learned the lesson that "if a couple is dating then it has to have sex".
This is an attitude very far removed from reality. I would rethink that once more.

>>37736364
the Church, by definition, is only holy in the moment it celebrates sacraments and teaches the immutable dogmas.

>>37736386

basically it means that media content will change mindsets little by little.

this is why mainstream porn little by little revolutionized families, mating rituals, attitude towards children, education and so on

>>37736512
The Catholic Church does those things as far as I know.