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I was going to give up junk food and coffee today but even though I see coffee as wagie fuel that ruins my sleep and ruins my gym strength, I can't really bear to do it. It energises me in the middle of a demoralising work day where I am the ugy loser beta (also on the street, but not with the same people constantly). I have been socialised to associate it with getting stuff done, even though I procrastinate endlessly. I haven't yet convinced myself to skip boring old "classic" books so why bother being non conformist and giving up coffee when I refuse to be non conformist and claim Jane Austen and Dostoevsky are boring as fuck.
I'm sick of always trying to look for philosophies of living and heuristics and etc. The only worthwhile advice that can be remembered all the time is to always be honest with yourself. But being honest gets the crowd piling up on you. Even lit cares about the crowd, no matter how much you talk about objective quality of books. If a book isn't endorsed by the academia-media-publishing industrial complex you don't give a fuck about it.
But another reason I won't give up coffee is that it brings up the issue of whether optimising my life like some dehumanised being is worthwhile. In notes from the underground one of the most memorable parts was when the narrator talked about acting in a perverse way to feel human.
Oh yeah, and it's hot and the many attractive women outside are demoralising to see. They see me as disgusting non Chad scum. Yesterday a woman asked me for directions and I pretended not to know, out of bitterness. She I would've laughed in my faceif I had asked out the 22 year old her.
Today is typical. Hopelessness and laziness building up to an epiphany in the evening where I realise the key to succeeding in every aspect of life at once is to focus on few things / focus on many things / do only things I find fun / do only things society deems important / forget about the question and just live life etc.
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>>37704450
This is your brain on Jordan Peterson.
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ive been embracing nihilsm and its honestly helping me,
coffee black has some health benefits apparently, all u really gotta watch out for is salt n sugar n u should b ok
just do what u gotta do man
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>>37704450
*sssssssip*
I'll happily "sort my room", Dr., but you see this task must wait until I finish this cup of coffee, it being my first cup of the day.
*taps mug*
If you won't respect my pronouns, please at least respect my rules.
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>>37704450
I did "self improvement" and "success" stuff before Christ.
And in a nutshell it's a competition in how cruel can you be towards yourself - force yourself to do cold showers, gym, boxing, job. It's just constant overcoming of your instincts and it's brutal. And the end goal is something (like being the best in your own narcissistic and this success culture way) that doesn't even make objective sense. So that's aligned with your conclusion - what's even the point of brutally overcoming your instincts and wants.
But there is a correct way to live I believe now. And it's to do the will of God. It's the only principle on which you can base all your decisions (also this - should I quit coffee for instance) and you will be fine. You won't turn into a tyrant over yourself because it's not God's Will you do that. And most of your efforst will flow towards good in the world at large, your personal "success" won't be so important anymore. Which is good. So... consider religion. Read the New Testament or just watch Peterson for a while. He doesn't seem to believe in God in a strict religious sense but he makes a good rational case for religion, which is something to somepeople I guess. Today it's hard to turn to religion.
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>>37705502
Dude fuck that. Don't choose to believe in God just because you need someone/something to base your decisions on. Find yourself and be your own god. Base your decisions on your own principles, not some fairytale daddy.
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>>37705502
>And in a nutshell it's a competition in how cruel can you be towards yourself - force yourself to do cold showers, gym, boxing, job. It's just constant overcoming of your instincts and it's brutal.
Its still an enjoyable way to live, the problem is once you stop the happiness stops.
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>>37705575
So don't stop? You really become a better person by pushing past mental boundries. It's hard but rewarding af.
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>>37705575
There is a problem with being cruel with yourself.
You probably want also some "social success". And you become really ruthless this way, because you have to be towards yourself to keep going. Basically you become indigestible to others and others to you. It's not good. It's good to have strong will but it's not good to be ruthless, one needs to be loving.
>>37705599
You're not a better person except in your own twisted world. People see that and they think this guy is going really hard, I respect that but don't want anything to do with him, because nothing good for me can come from that person.
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