>almost 4 AM and my memories keep haunting me, preventing

>>37700480
Every damn day. I'll try to go to sleep but every retarded thing I've done in the day/week/year keeps up. It's like I can't process the dumb shit I do sometimes, even if it's just little things I should be able to forget. The only real way I can go to sleep is to stay up super late and/or drink/smoke

I personally find the best way to deal with it is to just overthink the fucking weird insignificant shit you've done in the past till you stop caring.

I just put on some hour long youtube video and focus on that to fall asleep.
What I can barely control is when I am in public and some aweful memory comes up and I get the compulsion to spaz out and like hit myself or swear suddenly or somethings

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I'm diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder. Why can't I ever just, fucking relax.

I get this the most at work doing menial and time consuming tasks that give my mind enough time to wander (shitty retail job). Literally feel like breaking down into an anxiety attack or clocking out and never showing back up to work again.

Usually too tired from that to stay awake and repeat that at night.

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I don't like to be left alone with my thoughts so at night I watch twitch streams until I can't stay awake any longer.

if it gets bad i put on a twitch stream or a baseball game and then eventually fall asleep out of exhaustion

>>37700480
My memories make me to angry to sleep so i drown them out with synthesied nigger music about killing people

>>37700480
>almost 4 AM and those chirping birds outside keep haunting me, preventing me from sleeping
fixed.

god the feels in this thread holy fuck
>>37700800
used to do the same until i found weed
less healthy but at least I get more sleep now

>>37700710
is there a name for this? i have the exact same problem to a tee, i will randomly think of embarrassing things ive done even really minor things and immediately curse or slap myself.

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>>37700480
this is the reason I am addicted to benzos.
My brain is fucked. the insomnia got so bad I could not function during the day. my brain is tearing itself apart, especially at night.
now I take a xanax, or midazolam or zolpidem, zopiclone etc before bed and I fall into oblivion.
I'll choose this addiction over those night time feels any time.

its those
its those
its those
its those
MEMORIESSSSSSSS

>>37700480
I fucking hate that feeling. Occasionally I'll randomly remember some cringey shit I've done and haunt me. You aren't alone anon

>>37700480
>>almost 4 AM and my memories keep haunting me, preventing me from sleeping
>
>Anyone else know this feel? Every fucking night I cringe about the smallest fucking mistakes I've made.
I have kind of a thing, every night before sleep I see my mum dieing of cancer, screaming in pain and slowly loosing her mind due cancer brain intoxication(or whatever it calls)

>>37700480
>>37700668
You have to have compassion for yourself. If a close friend or a family member recounted those same memories to you, would you tell them they were total idiots no one could ever like for doing those things or would you tell them it's okay and people make mistakes and no one else is even going to remember those things.

>>37702366
this. everyone else is thinking about the times that they themselves fucked up, not your fuck ups.

I had a moment like this just today, I've been cringing over it ever since it happened.

>call up sound production guy at my company to get radio ads produced, he's asking questions about stuff
>I've been there for like 3 months, barely know what I'm doing, very inexperienced, nobody tells me fucking anything
>he asks if I've sent the scripts to branding to have them checked that their okay
>"Oh, uh, I don't know if that's that necessary?"
>he gets a pissed tone in his voice
>"It's totally necessary, absolutely necessary!"
>goes on for a bit about how I need to have them checked, forwards them on to branding who contact me and ask where I've sent these, how I've booked them in, etc.
>I have no clue, fumble through the whole thing, feel like shit all day

I know he wasn't really mad and just trying to help but still.

>>37700480
How old are you? I've had this during my late teens (15-17). If you're at the same age i would advise you to GET THE FUCK OUT but also to not worry about it since your perspectives will change overtime and it will solve itself out, just don't think about it too much.

iktf, i feel sick when i remember some of the things in the recent past that have occurred.

>>37700480
this is a feel i know
i can only sleep when my body is about to shut down. it usually takes me about 40 hours or so for this to happen. i have currently been awake for 28 hours. this started happening about 3 months ago although i have always had trouble sleeping . i am not sure if it is insomnia or something else and i probably wont go to a doctor about it.

my memories haunt me as well, i find myself searching for that moment that led me to where i am now.