>was in the kitchen less than 10 minutes and still managed

File: WHAT.jpg (25KB, 320x250px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 320x250px

>>37699726
Did you eat them all together like a sandwich or are you telling me you ate ten individual wrapped fucking """"cheese""""" packets?

Not a sandwich, ingredient by ingredient.

File: Homer.jpg (35KB, 446x396px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 446x396px

>>37699833
Originally what in shit's fuck?

File: Whoopsie Daisy.jpg (54KB, 625x421px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 625x421px

>>37699800
>dozen
>I said ten
I'm sorry TWELVE individually wrapped (((processed))) cheese packets.

>>37699726
>'the virgin binge'

S A L A D

EAT SALAD. I don't care if it has dressing on it, eating a giant bowl of lettuce, onions, tomatoes, olives, and a little fetta cheese is still far less calories and far more filling. Vegetable soup even.

File: snarglegoo.jpg (58KB, 501x900px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 501x900px

>store spare bottles of coagulated sour cream inside the shit tank in case i get thirsty
>pee backwards so I can smell it
>couldn't resist the power of the sour hour
>dumped the chunky cream all throughout the shit water and went bobbing for cockroaches with my head fully submerged

and the other night

>jump through the ring of fire and somersault into the hallway
>get a running start and charge down the door with perfect star spangled form
>pee my pants to assert my claim over the kitchen
>crawl around the floor looking for a midnight snack
>spot a plump larvae bugpussy with healthy spunk and a vivacious rump
>it's raw
>go to pull the meat chamber open and accidentally topple the entire thing over with my superhuman strength i inherited from my tiny 4 foot 5 greasy jewish balding bitch that spends all her time knitting bondage gear for my 10 foot tall dad as she watches aliens from mars fuck dogs on the TV
>an entire nest of slutty starving beta bitch beetles ripe for the dicking go scurrying across the floor
>subject their entire congregation to the creamy shit bog
>slosh my pissy pecker around like an anteater at an all you can eat buffet
>use the prostate finger to open the meat locker which is stocked full of hundreds of bottles of horse radish and pickle juice
>squirt it all into my mouth and all over my eyes, all over my clothes and the kitchen and crush some bug guts up and mix it all together for lube
>squirt my dead kids out and mix it all together and shove it up my ass
>go into hibernation on the floor and wake up 3,000 years later with a giant stork egg peaking its head out of my asshole which has been stretched to the limits of the human condition
>clean the entire kitchen with my tongue and digest human history
>ghost pulls the stork egg out of my ass and disappears into the ceiling
>powerwalk to the door and fit my body into the hole perfectly
>enter a different dimension as i slide through an endless tunnel shaped like my silhouette for eternity

>>37699726
eat your meals slower you'll end up eating less your body will recognize its full before you can gorge yourself. I eat slow because im paranoid about choking. It takes me like 20 minutes to eat a hamburger.

File: 1494525113952.png (178KB, 283x270px) Image search: [Google]

178KB, 283x270px

>>37700445
>It takes me like 20 minutes to eat a hamburger
like a BIG boss but u don even know it

File: tumblr_moqhuxVuUr1s5mjlwo1_500.png (92KB, 436x735px) Image search: [Google]

92KB, 436x735px

>>37700345
fucking hell i'm only up to line four and I'm giggling like a little girl. fuckng sour hour.

>>37700445
Im always choking on hamburgers

Its like my number one most choked on available item