>5 AM >Browsing YLYL threads on /b/ >Laugh so hard I

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>5 AM
>Browsing YLYL threads on /b/
>Laugh so hard I shit myself
>Whoops, special baby needs a new diapy
>"MAAAAAMAAAAAA"
>Hear frantic footsteps running down the hall
>Mama opens the door winded. She can't forget what happened last time.
>"Baby boy made a messy messy"
>Lay down on the bed with feet up in the air
>She's changing my diapy
>Wait. What's that feeling?
>Instead wet wipes she's using fucking TOILET PAPER
>Kick her in the face
>"YOU FUCKING BITCH! WHAT IS THIS SANDPAPER SHIT? IS THIS HOW YOU TREAT YOUR SPECIAL BABY? DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME?!"
>By this point she's shrunken in fear
>"I-I'm sorry Jeff b-but I forgot to get the w-wet wipes when I was out getting your t-tendies"
>"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>Go on a full blown rampage
>Roll down the hall spewing rancid diarrhea
>Knock over Grammas ashes
>Knock over the wine rack
>Roll onto Mama and crack her femur
>"TENDIES TENDIES TENDIES AND WIPEY WIPES NOW!"
>Limps to the car
>Rushes out to go to the store
>Go back to browsing the 'Chon
>15 minutes later she's back with the wet wipes and 4 boxes of tendies
>The nearest store is 25 minutes away
>"J-Jeff I have the wipeys you wanted"
>"TENDIES NOW REEEEE!"
>Makes me three whole trays of tendies
>Gives me wipey wipes and makes me a special bubble bath
She hasn't looked at me in the eyes since. That's what she gets for neglect.