Well lads, this is it. I've had enough of life. I thought

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>>37654422
>emotional tampon
top kek lad

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>>37654422
Would you feel better if you had a qt wolf gf to fart at you all the time?

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>>37654422
Don't feel bad anon here i draw something for you

>>37654422
>numerous failed suicide attempts
Then they probably weren't actual suicide attempts.

>>37654422
Expect them to not try to help you.
I went two years ago and they kept me in a literal cell in the hospital basement with a bed that was scraped senseless, paintless, cement walls. My company was a schizophrenic teenager and I saw a depressed girl through the window from the keepers monitoring room walking back and forth aimlessly.
They're just gonna keep you away from society and make you feel worse because they'll constantly be looking down at you like a lesser being whenever you communicate.

>>37654887
>depressed girl walking back and forth aimlessly
made me feel a little sad because that's what I would do if I was stuck in the mental ward

>>37654887
This discourages me anon. But I have no idea what else to do. My life is falling apart. Talking doesn't fucking help, nothing fucking helps, and I am tired of feeling this way. It's been years.

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>>37655002
It's not going to help, but you're not alone in this feel. I'm right there with you

>>37654422
At least you didn't get hit in the head and lost most of your intellectual abilities.

>>37654947
She was about 15 and under surveillance constantly(so was the other kid) by cameras and they mostly spoke to her over intercom, probably worsening her mental state. She was qt too.
Overall, it felt like jail, I would have been kept longer if my saint of a mother didn't stick around with me, we left around 5am after being up all night and I finally convinced them I was no longer suicidal(lie). The fact that they let me go while blatantly lying, after being kept there for so long with no actual treatment shows what a joke mental healthcare is in this country, and I live in one of the most progressive and well funded places in the US. I should probably mention I was also handcuffed to a bed before all of this too when I said I was suicidal. Did not fucking help.
>>37655002
We're alone in this world anon. Try counseling if you haven't. They're paid to care and while that might be discouraging, they want you to get better.
I can't offer any better advice, other than saying back when I was smoking weed, I was happier lol. Don't be too hard on yourself. The job market is shit in the age of automation. But even a menial job will help you not feel so useless, and give you a chance to blend in if you can accept normiedom. Good luck anon.

>>37655002
"I'm tired of feeling this way. It's been years."
This hit home hard my man. I know how you feel, try and get some meds for your mental illness, take a dog for a walk, go and get a tattoo, go watch a movie, sign up to a gym.

There's always hope brother.

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>>37654422
Going to the nut house WILL NOT help you i cant stress that enough.
If you had to choose between the killing yourself or going to an asylum with full knowledge of what its like in there, you would kill yourself lad.

>>37655338
>>37655359
Delete this neffyu

>>37655200
>smoking weed
Should I seriously try this? A lot of people say it helps but it seems degenerate to me. I'm running out of options though. I'm desperate for a change in my pathetic fucking life. I haven't even had food today. I don't even feel hungry. I have been in bed all day crying and screaming. I feel nothing but emptiness and a strong desire to throw myself in front of a truck and fade away from this world.

>>37655338
Shut the fuck up you lazy NEET piece of shit. Some of us are actually trying and don't take pride in being a leech.

>>37654422
OP, do you have Skype or Steam or something like that? If so can we talk?

>>37655438
kek ragie wagie spotted. I'm no leech. I provide a valuable service to wagies by giving them the gift of housing as long as they give me my tribute.

>>37655241
Stop. It doesn't get better. How can you even tell me that, when I've been this way for 6 years now, and it only gets worse. I doubt medication will help either, and I have trouble swallowing pills.

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>>37655408
>degenarate
Its only degenerate if youre a DUDE WEED LMAO kinda guy.
I smoke weed pretty much everyday (am on NEETbux and have my own place) and i started by telling my doctor i have anxiety or some shit.
It actually helped a bit with my deppression.
Something i did for my first time was go for a walk at night time listening to music, i think weed really helps people introspectively if they arent a normie.

I DONT suggest other drugs though it will not help you.
Doing acid once or twice a year is fine i suppose since it helped my deppression as well, but again like with all drugs you need to be responsible.

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>>37655477
Pic related.
>>37655469
That's kind of you, but nothing will come out of it. I have tried talking and I just feel like a beta idiot afterwards. It doesn't take away the pain. I've had people tell me they care and whatever, but I still want to die. Nothing works for me.

>>37655408
good till it runs out then a hard drop, for me at least. nearly killed myself doing this.

>>37655545
Doesn't that shit kill your brain cells? What does it feel like?

>>37655408
>Should I seriously try this?
Its not the worst thing you can do. People normalize drinking and that kills you. Just don't make smoking a daily habit. Drug dependancy is fucking gay and weak. If you choose to start, reward yourself with it every so often, maybe twice a week, nothing more than a puff or two.
It's not gonna make you a degenerate, as long as you aren't making a habit or changing your lifestyle to be a piece of shit, like a heroin junkie.
>>37655545
Like this fucking loser that can't even be happy unless he's high. And he's not even getting high because his tolerance is through the roof. Dont be like this fuck.
Relax with it if you choose to, but maintain a baseline of normalcy.

>>37655563
I'm not giving up on you OP, you're a robot.

>>37655603
Every day like that will effect your cognitive function, regardless of what stoners say. Watch, he'll say 'no'. He even claims to not be all 'dude weed lmao' but he smokes daily and posts that pepe.
Don't ask stoners this shit, they think its harmless. Weed does effect testosterone levels and serotonin levels, both significant factors in happiness. But the effects are marginal if you don't indulge too often.

>>37655650
And you're a normie. Why the fuck are you even saying this? You don't know me. When this thread dies you will forget about me and continue to tell other anons the same meaningless script. If you knew me in person you wouldn't give me the time of day like everyone else. You would not like me. I'm a fucking sperg with no place in this world.

>>37655200
It doesn't matter how progressive the area you live in is. The bottom line for mental healthcare in America is this:

go to a private hospital, and get either ok or good treatment. Will either feel not much better upon leaving, or will improve a bit.

go to a public hospital: Get ass raped by niggers. Come out of the hospital even more eager to kill yourself.

This is the choice that you must face...

>>37655703
I'll look into it. It makes me feel like a normie but I'm fucking desperate. I already had my backpack ready for the hospital, but I didn't know it was as you all described. What does weed feel like? What if I have a bad reaction?

>>37655754
>It doesn't matter how progressive the area you live in is.
That was literally my point of mentioning that you dumb piece of fuck.
The rest of what you say is truth though.

>>37655789
>unable to read through my post
>calls me a dumb fuck.

I hope you get put back in the loony bin, you cancerous fuck!

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>>37655721
Don't talk to me like that, asshole. If I'm a normie then I guess you're a fuckin' Chad. Think you're superior to everyone else because you wanna kill yourself. Where's your Stacy, Chad?

>>37655825
>>37655789
Since when did this thread get overrun by autists?

>>37655835
The moment R9K was overrun by literal autists?

>>37655786
>What does weed feel like?
Kind of a light warmness? Colors are a bit more vibrant, music sounds better. Food tastes better. Try an indica strain to start. You'll want to sit down.
>What if I have a bad reaction?
Just take one small hit from a glass pipe(you can get these for as little as 5 bucks), and wait 15 minutes, and it'll be pretty unlikely to have a panic attack or anything, as long as its an indica strain. If you do just play some music you're familiar with, preferably something ambient without lyrics, or rain sounds.
>>37655811
I did read it and acknowledged it was truth lol. Try reading comprehension. It'll help you one day.

>>37655877
I read your post. You insulted me and then said that I was right afterwards. You can't act like the first part of your post doesn't exist, ya dumb cunt.

>>37655907
Im not, its just that your mentioning that my point of saying that it was a progressive and rich area is redundant. Literally in that original post, the whole point I said it in the first place, is saying that it doesn't matter what area it is. That is the reason I said it, guy. Stop being mad. Sorry.

>>37655825
>Chad
>as a 26 y/o KHV
Look, I'm sorry. But when I say I have tried everything, I mean everything. People always say they care and shit, but it's all a script they were taught by stupid suicide prevention organizations that came up with it just to make you feel better for the moment. It's fucking fake. And by your response, I was correct. You don't care, and you don't like me, so stop telling strangers you do and giving them false hope. I'm not fucking superior. In fact I am the opposite. I have lost every ounce of hope, happiness, and motivation I ever had. My entire life has been a cycle of pain. Any fucking friends I thought I made just wanted to use me and take advantage of how lonely I am, because I would do anything for people to stay for once. Fuck people and fuck this fucking world. I can't even get a woman to look at me romantically, or feel anything for me, or even experience sex. I'll try the fucking weed but I don't expect some instant miracle. When it fades off I'll still be a piece of shit. All these years of pain can only mean one thing, that my life was a mistake. None of this is meant to be. It's my duty to do this.

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Every time I think my life sucks, I try to count my blessings. This sounds like Sunday School style shit but I think of the few friends I have and their dysfunctionality it makes me feel grateful for what I have

> friend 1 has transsexual brother (possibly twin), literally looks like friend 1 in drag and a bad haircut
> friend 2 has brain damage and can barely move his left hand
> friend 3 has advanced lyme disease and can't eat gluten or sugar without getting sick
...and so on

>>37655981
>actually wanting to be with a woman.

Dude, you should be grateful to be freed from women. Now you get to be one step closer on your path to becoming a wizard. Why the fuck would you complain about some shit like that?

I guess you really are mentally ill. Better go to the mental hospital after all...

>>37655981
It's not your duty to do anything besides live, there's no other meaning than to live. One day and somehow something will change in you're life, you ever been told by your own parents they hate you and put you up for adoption and you had to stick with them and all of this happening at the age of 8? I wouldn't have thought. You ever pull a knife on your siblings because you can't control you're anger because your parents neglect to take care of you or your brother and sister? You're mother just give up and leave you, you're brother and father without saying anything? Think about what you're going to do man, just hold on a little while longer.

>>37656110
Sorry I don't type too well, no advanced education and can't sleep because I have Insomnia.

>>37655981
>I'll try the fucking weed but I don't expect some instant miracle.
Just expect to be a bit more interested/entertained in whatever you do in waking life, and a general feeling of "it'll be okay, things aren't so bad", and when you come down to be sleepier. If anything, a new thing to look forward to and life not be so dull.
I hope I could help a bit, though you don't really care. At least keep you out of a ward where they might mess you up more. But fuck, maybe experiencing that might give you perspective too, who knows.
>>37656044
Damn. It really takes the stuff happening to you to appreciate it though. Like I can read this, but its next to meaningless since they're not in my life. Life is weird that way.

>>37656069
Wizards aren't happy. They are simply good at acting like they are.

>>37656110
>It's not your duty to do anything besides live, there's no other meaning than to live.
I can't even do that. I cannot keep a job, I cannot go to school, and I cannot even have a social life at the very least.
>You ever pull a knife on your siblings because you can't control you're anger because your parents neglect to take care of you or your brother and sister?
Yes actually.
>just hold on a little while longer.
It's been my entire life...

>>37656264
Why are you even asking for advice here if your response to every negative thing is "you must be right" and your response to every positive thing is "fuck off, you don't understand my inner pain."

Why did you even ask for advice in the first place? What do you hope to gain?

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>>37656264
I never even been able to get a job, it's too much when you're sweating, fat you're hands are clammy and don't look to appealing other than having close to no pimples.
Life is not going to be sweet but live it while you can, even if it takes meds or if you do something rash, just remember you do have some people that want to talk to you. Hold on, friend.

>>37656298
Read the OP. I simply wanted advice before admitting myself into the hospital, but all you normies decided to spew the same bullshit advice I have been hearing for years. Again, you will all forget about me very soon. You don't actually care. This is all a lie. None of you understand how fucked up my life is, or the immense pain and loneliness I constantly live in. Stop denying it. Some of us aren't meant for this world, some of us are meant to die this way, and some of us are sick of waiting for an improvement just to watch your life collapse in your face.

>>37656298
And another thing. You all have something to live for. I don't. I have no friends, I have no family, they fucking died, and I have no more energy to even have some hobbies. Nothing does it for me anymore. There is no point. I'm taking up space. I actually appreciate your help, but I know what the best decision is for me.

>>37656397
I never said you shouldn't kill yourself.

Quite frankly, I don't really care what you decide to do.

I've been to mental hospitals myself. My advice is, do some research before you go, so you can pick a good one to go to.

Also, if you do try to kill yourself, don't fall for the helium exit bag meme. It doesn't work.

>>37656459
you only think this because you're young (26). If you were say, 35 years old, you wouldn't even be depressed anymore. But such is life. Maybe you'll make it there, maybe you won't. We'll have to wait and see, yes?

>>37656397
Do what you want. Even tho we'll never know each other I will wish you luck anon.

>>37656459
Better to have no family than have one that quite literally hate you, we're on R9K to help others, relate, or even befriend. not just for "ZE LAWL MEMES" can you get the tip that we're not here to hurt you.

>>37656469
>I've been to mental hospitals myself.
What was your experience like? Did it help?
>Also, if you do try to kill yourself, don't fall for the helium exit bag meme.
That's stupid. I have other ideas.
>>37656484
What's the point if I will be all alone? That sounds worse than dying.

>>37656511
When you die you'll be all alone as well, and no one can even help you then you'll be in eternal darkness with no voices, nothing. just nothing, make something of yourself.

>>37656510
>can you get the tip that we're not here to hurt you.
I'm trying. But I'm damaged and have no faith in humanity. Thank you but i'm sorry.

>>37656539
I'm damaged too, fella. Stop being stubborn please, I have no faith in humanity either. We've made it this far because humanity has relied on others for so long, man. you can make it through I promise.

>>37656511
Like I said, you just think that because you're too young.

You don't realize this, but you're not much better than one of those edgy teens that drinks and dresses in all black because its "who they really are." Your own hormones blind you to the reality of your situation, which in turn prevent you from bettering your life and stopping your depression. However, contrary to popular opinion, you don't have a """"chemical imbalance"""" in your brain. Rather, this is the normal functioning of your brain. Its just that things haven't worked out too well for you, and you still have the impulsiveness/unhappiness of youth, which is a bad combo that often leads to unhappiness. Hopefully it will stop. If it makes you feel any better, it definitely will stop, it just may take so long to stop that from your depressed short sighted perspective it would seem to take an eternity from now until you will feel better.


My experience was good because I went to a nice private hospital. It still didn't help much though, but it didn't really hurt either. Such is life, I guess.

>>37656536
>make something of yourself.
That was my goal, but after I lost my job I saw no point in anything. We're all going to die. What is the point in making something out of yourself if someday you will disappear, and all your hard work will be lost? Why should I keep working for something I will eventually lose? What will be the point if I will still feel this way and be lonely, without anyone to care if I were to wake up or not? I have no one to share experiences with. I understand I will technically die alone. But I have been alone for 9 years now. It would be nice to at least have a friend. It's getting to the point where I talk to myself to feel better. It's fucking pathetic. And it's not just the girls that ghost me, guys do it too. I guess I'm too spergy.
>>37656593
Has your life even improved?

>>37656646
Try socializing with robots, make threads about meeting up. There is a solution to everything, go online and asks if anyone lives near you and all that, you understand what I'm getting at, you will get help eventually, even if it gets to things like that life will improve I swear it.

>>37656703
I guess I'll try and see where it goes. Thanks.

>>37656819
Just remember there always is a solution, never give up hope. We genuinely care.

>>37654690
Lol I love when faggots try to say they "failed suicide multiple times"

There are many fullproof methods of killing yourself. Taking 4 advils is not one of them.

>>37656646
Some things get better, some stay the same, some get worse. Life is not a unified construct. Its more of a series of poles, sticking out of a muddy ground, that can move independently of one another.

For my own part, my main depression seems to stem from the fact that I hate the race/ethnic group that I'm a part of, and can't change it.

Still, I have started to come to terms with this fact.

To answer your question more directly, since getting out of the hospital, I have dropped out of college. Then I got a job at K-Mart, and quit that. Now I'm taking community college classes trying to build up credits. I'm younger than you are by a good margin, but nonetheless, I do think that if you were older, most of your problems would be resolved.

Think of it this way (and I know, its not a perfect analogy): There's huge amounts of 15-25 year old criminals, and huge amounts of drug abuse among that age group. However, among those who are 30 and up, criminal arrests are rather uncommon (among all ethnic groups). The fact is, important changes in the processing of information and risk occur between the ages of 23 and 28 that radically alter a given individual. You only can't imagine this change yet because you haven't felt it yet. Imagine trying to explain to a 7 year old how to do calculus. You just can't. They'll never get it until they get older. For you, it is much of the same, and your growth is not yet complete.

For that reason alone, I would recommend waiting until later until you an hero. However, if you feel that you must do it, then I would understand, and I would neither judge you nor look down on you for doing it. All I would say is, make sure to die by jumping off a 70 foot plus building or cliff. It is the most efficient way to go.

>>37654422
>Is there anything I should know about hospitals in advance?
Have fun convincing them that you're better and able to leave

>>37656933
as long as you're not there for psychosis, you should be able to do that pretty easily.