Am I in the wrong here? >come back to hometown from work across

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>>37568140
Continued...
>while I'm mowing the lawn, I see him leave the house in his car
>come back inside, see a note that says he's going to go stay with his girlfriend
>this is the same girlfriend from when I was 17 (now 20)
>I have never met this girlfriend
>he's been gone for two days now
Am I an asshole or is my Dad the asshole? I honestly think half of my problems stem from the neglect that my Dad has always shown me. People have said I'm withdrawn and cold, which I one hundred percent believe is because of my Dad. I've tried to mention these feelings to him before, but like I said, he's stubborn and refuses to listen or accept any fault.
I just want my Dad to show me that he cares. I want him to spend time with me.

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>>37568140
>>37568265
Goddamnit OP. Those are some rough feels.

>>37568265
Forget about him, he doesn't care about you.

>>37568265
Your dad is the asshole.

You're barking up a dead tree.

Abandon hope and move on, the more you try, the more you'll fail, it's time to let it go.

>>37568384
>>37568394
>>37568402
What am I supposed to do then? Just abandon my Dad?
I don't know if I could ever do that to him.

Your dad is clearly the dick in this situation. Sounds like he has no real sense of responsibillity.

What will you do now OP?

>>37568265
Ehh dads are over rated. Once your at the point that you know your not gonna get any more money out of him disown his ass and break all contact.

>>37568453
sounds like he already abandoned you

>>37568465
I have no idea. I can't just abandon my Dad. He may be neglectful, but he's my Dad.
I would try and get him to go to some sort of mediation with me so we could work out our problems, but I highly doubt he would even consider it.

>>37568453
I'm in the same boat as you. Father never bothered or cared about me. I don't contact him other than when he randomly texts me. I don't know you its not like you didn't try. You tried to get in good standing with your father and asked him to hang out and he returns the favor by ditching you and avoiding you. Its obvious he wants nothing to do with you.

>>37568453
Stop thinking about your dad, he clearly doesn't give a fuck about you, either. The only thing you're doing is hurting yourself.

>>37568265
You are fucking 20 years old why do you not have like two kids yet?
The fuck OP.

>>37568265

Sounds pretty much like mine was anon. Here's a hard truth. He doesn't feel shit for you. This is a man who got a lady knocked up by accident and had you with her out of some sort of obligation, and did the bare minimum in raising you since he was never really emotionally invested anyway. His dad did it to him, he did it to you. Mine's did it to him, and he did it to me.

There really isn't anything you can do about it anon. Biology is a strong thing, so you'll probably always crave his attention and approval, but sadly, you aren't going to get them, no matter what you do. Sounds like you're independant, which is a good thing, so, use that independence and never look back. If he'd rather go see some whore than hang out with you, that's a sign that couldn't be any clearer. It sucks, but you may want to consider pretty much just cutting ties and letting him do whatever he's going to do without you in his life. It'd be better for both of you honestly.

>>37568453
Do you have feelings for him?
Idk I've never loved my parents or something.
Just ignore him, or if you want revenge for the ruined childhood, discover who is the bitch he's fucking and make them split. Or plan something to isolate him from his others friend/family. Be creative anon. Evil believes in you

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>>37568562
By the way never knew my father so tough titties OP tough titties.

You know those retarded ass memes non-white people make about white stereotypes? (LmL nigga this white ass nigga cant be eatin' spicy foods n sheit x^D)

The one thing they have spot on is that white parents are fucking horrid. White baby boomer parents are truly the scourge of american society. So entitled, not self-aware by any means, not nurturing but also not naturing,
just overall fucking horrid

>>37568265
I don't think your dad has a gf anon, he's probably out doing some degenerate shit.

>>37568528
You don't need to abandon him, you just need to find a way that you can be around your father and be at peace with him not wanting to be around you... if that makes sense.

>>37568453

You have two real options here, OP. Maybe three.

Option 1: Go find him/visit him again later and ask him what the fuck. Ask him if he actually wants a relationship with you. Tell him you want to have more than a passive aggressive lip service. Tell him what grievances you have, and if he wants a relationship with you then you'd like him to show it or man up and say he doesn't.

This option is the hardest, because it requires you not get terribly emotional. If you get angry you are pretty much going to go with option two. If your dad is super macho man he's probably going to be defencive and be shitty towards you. If you can keep reasonably cool and actually want a relationship with him this is what you need to do. Rehearse.

Option 2: Go find him and tell him to go fuck himself. Tell him you are done feeling unwanted and he can go fuck himself. Tell him if he ever wants to have a relationship with you he can figure out how to make that happen.

This just cuts ties. You don't need to stop loving your dad, but putting it out there and not having this very distracting weight on your shoulders will do you a world of good. If your dad is this emotionally distant, then you probably aren't going to ever have a real relationship with him. At least you can start healing rather than just stewing in misery.

Option 3. Do nothing and pretend everything is fine.

This is bitch mode and completely unhealthy. It's a valid choice though. Just shrug it off and keep it going. It will always bother you and you'll never get any real closure unless you count him or you dying and making some token effort to make up lost time. Doing this is fucking stupid. It's like dancing around a fire trying to fart it out.

>>37568645

All parents for the most part are fucking horrible.

White parents tend to be distant, ingnorant shit heads. Who are self centered and hypocritical to the point of parody.

Black parents tend to not fucking be there or completely disinterested in actually raising and disciplining their children.

Asian parents tend to be extremely overbearing and distant. Sure pushing a kid to be the best is great, but I've known a shit load of kids with strict Asian parents and they always have mommy and daddy issues up the ass.

>>37569854
Yeah well there's no special requirements to be a parent and that's sad. Look at us. So fucked up