>be me >35, unemployed >no gf since 2003 >no sex

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>be me
>35, unemployed
>no gf since 2003
>no sex since 2008
>borderline alcoholic
>rich dad enables my parasitic life
>zero interest in women/work/life
>probably good looking if i lost about 40lbs
>move to new town
>oh boy, fresh start!
>try to get healthy, go vegan, meditate, learn an instrument etc.
>still feel like crap 90% of the time
>go to local supermarket
>absolutely gorgeous latvian girl working there
>heart hurts just looking at her
>about my age, green eyes, super friendly to everyone, no rings on fingers
>make the mistake of trying to engage her in convo
>she's receptive, friendly
>tells me she's about to go back to lativa for a few weeks
>shop elsewhere for a fortnight
>go back tonight, she's there
>put my stuff on the conveyor belt, avoid all eye contact til it's my turn
>ask her how her holiday was
>try to pretend i understand her 7/10 english
>remarks on my haircut
>mfw she remembers me
>mfw i think she might actually like me
>panic kicks in
>my senses shift
>everything seems somehow larger, gravity becomes more oppressive
>tell her my haircut is stupid even though it's actually great
>mumble goodbye
>walk out in shame
>come home and post on this shitty website i haven't visited in 5 years because i have no friends to tell
time to find a new supermarket