Aya im sorry i dont know the right words to say to make you believe

Please add me back youre the only one who was my friend in the beginning of this year.
I can't take having panic attacks anymore
i feel soothed whenever you talk to me maybe it's because im bratty i dont know please let me make it up to you
shimo knows my real name he can do bad things to my life probably if you asked him and wanted to get me back

i dont know the right words to say i only made the threads because i didnt know what to do im sorry
i deserve to die please dont hate me
if you hate me then i can never talk to you again
when you were nice to me on my alt i cried and hugged my blanket it felt nice

Are you singing OP?

Epic covfefe meme

please dont hate me im sorry
if you think im making you look bad then tell me
i dont mean to at all. i dont want to pass messages through any mutual friends talking here on an anonymous imageboard is easier
please dont hate me youre the closest thing i had to a parent

dont leave
i dont know how to change my lifestyle when i cry i like going to r9k because r9k makes me feel safe and laugh and i like reading other anons feelspost

please dont leave i wanted a parent
i like everything about you
please use me as your emotional punching bag
my life has no meaning and i always breakdown everyday because i always think about you. im not dangerously clingy i have no intention of stalking you or getting information please dont hate me
i want aya

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>>37505272
YOU ARE SPEAKING ABOUT MY DAUGHTER!

you shouldn't cut things into your arm; if you need, you know i would do it for you, otouto :^)

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>>37505272
Hey, not feeling good again?

>>37505960
yeah
im trying not to have another panic attack
i hope the medicine works well for me
what about you

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>>37506055
Last couple of days have been really good actually but then i saw or remembered something that dragged me down into a bad place. That seems to be how it goes.

I hate using the word "trigger" but that's even what my therapist calls them.

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>>37506132
its best we surround ourself with good feelings then
i dont wanna sleep on it
im tired of moving around in it a lot
i think of the worst things in it

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>>37506388
I just listen to music from when I wake up until I go to bed, try to find as much new stuff as I can, it's a good distraction. Video related.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=405wuDhww9U

i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die

You have interesting colored blankets. Mine has a blue and brown checkerboard pattern. I like it a lot. My aunt got it for me for Christmas a few years ago and it's really soft and smells nice.

>>37506490
you have a strong tolerance

Also you have good colors but they'd make me insane after a while
not to say that my colors arent insane lol

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>>37507018
A strong tolerance to what?

And insane, huh? Do you really hate blue and brown?

>>37507080
i mean they are just depressing colors
getting a themed bed set would be nice huh
we should do this

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>>37507104
Themed? I dunno, I don't like busy looking things or bright colors, they stress me out. What did you have in mind?

What in the actual fuck is this topic?

>>37507148
something that reminds you of something you like
i want that
also its getting hard to breathe
living in a desert sucks cod

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>>37507180
I want to put flags in my room and anime posters and albums I like. I want to make it more cute looking. Do you have stuff you like in your room?

>living in a desert sucks cod
Tell me about it, it's already hot here. It's so dry and dead and ugly it makes me sick.

>>37507251
I want to get a touhou designed comforter
and a body pillow so i wont feel lonely and like i have a mom

i get lonely all the time even when im talking to people
is it adhd?

>>37505327
Yes, you are pretty much the epitome of "bratty"

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>>37507328
im so lonely im so lonely im so lonely
i have friends but im still lonely
nothing will fix it, not even a boyfriend probably
feels like my mind is detached and floating in another universe so far away from everyone else
i feel sick

Me too, I think it's AvPD, pretty sure ADHD wouldn't cause a feeling like that.

>>37506490
>>37507402
You seem more distressed than usual, Mioposter. What's wrong?

>>37507385
I dont know how to change im sorry
i wanted aya back i still do
aya makes me feel safe

>>37507494
Learn how to appreciate your other friends, nimrod. I'm not even involved with Discord shit, but the favoritism you display in every thread is annoying.

>>37507402
im lonely too
i want to be happy cod
>>37507541
You can't really force someone to appreciate other people. and secondly we dont know each other

>>37507585
>You can't really force someone to appreciate other people

Yeah, especially when you're an obsessive brat too desperate to get the affection of the few people who won't give it to you, rather than caring about the friends who are actually good to you.
You are desperately in need of growing up. I hope you do, you're obviously a child.

>>37507638
Everything you say holds no meaning when you barely know my life

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>>37507451
The happy facade can't stay up all the time. Don't worry about me, I'm not worth it.

>>37507585
I can't remember happy, can you? Sometimes I feel good for a little bit, but I don't understand actual happy. I wish I had a gun. I want to paint the bathroom, but then everyone would be scared to use it afterwards. I bet my family would move houses.

>>37507677
Then I hope your friends will one day tell you the things that you need to hear. Though you will likely disregard them since they aren't your Lord and savior, King Aya-sama.

>>37507719
>Then I hope your friends will one day tell you the things that you need to hear. Though you will likely disregard them since they aren't your Lord and savior, King Aya-sama.
ok

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>>37507692
I'm not worried. Just interested. I like when people talk about their feelings.

>>37507739
Nice shitpost my dude

>>37507756
>Nice shitpost my dude
i guess

>>37507692
It'd be too sad for anyone in your family to walk in your room
dont do it please
i can get you through your problems

Cod are you there
hmm

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>>37507743
I've said it so many times to so many different people, rehashing it is exhausting. Sorry anon, it's nothing special.

>>37507812
>i can get you through your problems

No, you can't.


When you eat dinner do you do it in your room or as a family?

>>37507883
I can steal money and give some to you
then you could move out and be happier

i eat it in my room.
my family never eats together

>>37507692
I can kill you before killing myself
Life is too long, Mioposter
I wish the maximum human lifespan was somewhere in the 30s
I'm so tired

>kind of want to get back into discord chats to see wtf this is all about
>pretty sure I'm still banned from all of them

Should I make another account Y / N ?

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>>37507911
That's stupid and wouldn't help me anyway but thanks for the offer.

I eat upstairs with my mom, we don't really talk a lot. I remember at my friend's house they would all eat at the table and hold hands and pray at the start of a meal. They were so nice to me. I want parents.

>>37507968
I wouldn't want anyone to kill me, I would want to do it myself. I'm sorry you're tired anon, I am too.

>>37507981
The story up to now, from what I can tell as an outside observer.

>An anon named Aya and an anon named Rem become friends
>Rem instantly decides Aya is his soulmate because he's pretty much a yandere from some of my favorite animu
>Aya blocks Rem after about a week because Rem wants to talk 24/7
>Rem goes crazy(er) and makes threads every day for months

>>37507995
sorry..

youll feel nice to have some with people in the server

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>>37508121
They are nice. I still feel alone. More empty. Sorry for talking about myself, I'm selfish.

>>37505497
I can't stop laughing at this
The first few posts really do sound like song lyrics
You should compile your posts and make a song, OP
It will be a hit and Aya will listen to it on the radio every day

>>37508256
It really works great as a song

Ayaaaaa
I'm sorry that I hurt yooooouuuuu
I just don't know
(Just don't know)
The right words
To saaaaay

>>37508238
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMc8naeeSS8
im sorry Cod
please dont hate me
i dont know how to get you through this
please forgive me it sounds like hell i

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>>37508347
You didn't do anything wrong though.

I had hamburgers for dinner. They were good.

>>37506132
What was it you saw that has you moody tonight?

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>>37508578
Something stupid, usually I would just feel depressed over it but sometimes it makes me feel really weird like I'm being possessed and my mood and energy level goes really high and I can't really control myself and words just come out

i feel sick again
please kill me cod

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>>37508823
Me too, I feel like I have to do something. Listen to this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5bIdqZHEOo

>>37508898
pleas ekill me
i dont want to cry again
please

>>37508924
jesus christ, kid
i hope for everyone's sake your meds kick in soon

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>>37508924
Sorry, I'm not good at talking, I don't know what to say, but I'm here.

>>37508947
i hope they kick in too.
i want to die nobody understands how much it hurts everyday

>>37509003
Can't you kill yourself then? Or move in with your internet girlfriend and circlejerk eachother

>>37509027
I'll sing the classic song "Aya, I'm Sorry That I Hurt You" at their wedding

>>37509027
i asked my dad if he could take me to a shooting range
he said no
im all outta of guaranteed ways

>>37509067
You're not being creative enough then

>>37509085
can you help me come up with ways then?
if i do it ill stop having panic attacks
then you can silence me forever

>>37505272
>if i do bad things to myself will you forgive me?
That literally never works; it only makes it worse. Asking "how can I make it right" is a good start, but it's much easier said than done.

>>37509138
Maybe buy a suicide bag, it is quiet and painless apparently. It uses inert gas to suffocate you and you dont even feel a thing. I saw a DIY image once but I don't have it

>>37509163
I could do that
but i dont want to patronize him
i want him to believe i meant no ill harm even if he thinks i subconsciously did it
i want him to think of me as pathetic

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Anon, I want to impart on you knowledge that helped me immensely. Your waifu will always be with you and love you no matter what anon, she wants you to feel better Anon. Do it for her, always.

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>>37509296
I want to cut myself but I don't have any razors in the house, not sure if any of my knives are sharp enough either. I don't want to have to push hard.

>>37509386
I saw this post yesterday, it was cool.

>>37509397
If you cut yourself then ill cut myself with you

>>37509397
Are you a cutter, Mioposter?

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>>37509420
That's a really bad idea, we'd just be dragging each other down if that happened.

>>37509433
No but sometimes I feel like I have to hurt myself. I don't think I would ever cut my wrists, that makes me squeamish. Just my legs.

>>37509467
ohhh
please stop
youre just making me cry
i want you to feel better ppleas
join the stream

you banned me for no reason rem. i just want to know why

>>37509500
Because Rem is a woman

>>37509500
im so sorry.
napo
ill let you back in

>>37509518
It's not napo.

>>37509539
sorry
ill unban everyone

>>37505960
Where'd her legs go?

>>37509598
You can see the bend in her knees, they're tucked up behind her.

>>37509569
just send an invite please I'm sorry for not vcing with you I was super tired

>>37509681
znobody#5133
sorry i was being a jerk
i had a meltdown after you played your guitar

>>37509681
OP banned you for not VCing with him? Why do you guys put up with this brat
does his boipussy smell like nectar or something

Im not sure if this will work idk

QB5uEW

>>37509716
No, it's all just a little hugbox server so rem feels like he has freinds and they all do this perpetually trying to appease him. All just attention whores

>>37509716
No I ended up banning everyone because i had an episode and couldnt stop crying
>>37509743
Actually i dont like people to be affectionate towards me
its why im not active in my server as much

>>37509766
I know that if I ask why you don't like affection, you'll just say "becuz aya said i was mentally ill"
Were you okay with affection before Aya-sama made you feel bad about yourself?

What is this thread? Like an anime avatar discord thing?

>>37509794
I dont know
i dont recall much of it.
if you really wanted to confront me then why dont you add my discord and ill tell you whatever you want.

>>37509813
You don't remember much from your entire life pre-Aya?
I don't have a Discord, I use Skype

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>>37509813
Something aaa

>>37509848
>You don't remember much from your entire life pre-Aya?
thought you meant affection. but yeah i dont

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You guys sound fuckin gay

I literally fuck my ass with footlong dildos and watch yuru yuri but i can not fathom how such a dramatic emasculated male can exist

>>37509890
No bully the op pls be nice!

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Sorry, I just thought it would make me feel better. Maybe it did, I feel more focused on reality now.

>>37509941
what are you replying to, Mioposter

Who is Aya? Aya like the Touhou character?

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>>37509957
My friend that I talk to in here.

>>37509941
its good that it does
i dont know how to help you cod. im thinking of ways
but im in pain physically too
ee

>>37509962
yeah, and rem is named after the 500 year old vampire
except rem is an emotional vampire rather than a cool blood-sucking one

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>>37509975
Worry about yourself, alright? Don't worry about me. I shouldn't be burdening you with my issues.

>>37510292
youre fine
i cant believe he told people that i was only trying to get attention though
he made people egg me on to kill myself when i was at my worst

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>>37510801
he's bad, he's bad, not good at all

>>37509890
Rem is not dramatic at all!

>>37510824
thanks for talking to me anyways
i feel a little shaky

>>37507692
>I shouldn't be burdening you with my issues.
Right in the feels. As a fellow probable AvPD anon, I completely understand where you're coming from, but some people do genuinely care and want to help you. r9k is a pretty good place to vent at times like this if you have no one else, because we've been through similar issues in the past.

>>37511542
I want to help Mioposter too, but ONLY if he becomes my bf afterwards

>>37505272
dude you are aya shut up