>be 16 >be horny >horny for enemas >shove water bottle

please someone help what do i do

>>37488753
Well, stop doing enemas you beta

>>37488813
i cant poop normally anymore!!

>>37488684
Why wouldn't you just shit it out into the toilet?

>>37488835
Stop doing enemas and you'll manage. Make sure you're eating plenty of fiber.

Shoot the water up your ass and shit it out in the toilet like a normal person you eurpean faggot.

>>37488684
do what I do. just push toilet paper up ur butt

>>37488684
Say you've been constipated

What the fuck is going on in this thread

Lord Jesus have mercy

You shouldn't do enemas too often. Sometimes they're useful but if you do it all the time you'll end up with a gut flora imbalance that will bring you more problems, that probably explains the smell.

You might as well kill yourself. This memory will be with you for the rest of your life now.

>>37488684
kek your dad is so fucking disappointed in you. Pls post fallout of this situation.

>>37488684
Post pics.

I need it.

>>37489272
i cant leave my room to take pictures of the tub filled with shit or do you want a diff pic

im filled with water and cannot leave my room!!!! my mom is talking to her friend on the phone.

>>37489395
Do it fgt.

Shittub proof or you'll never have my respect.

>>37489469
I CANNOT LEAVE MY ROOM i am laying off my bed with my butt in the air so the water doesnt leak out

>>37489494
That image, holy shit.

Go the whole hog son, just shit everywhere and take pics of that.

what do i do with the poo water IT IS GOING TO COME OUT SOON and how do i make it not make my room smell even worse

>>37488684
too much enemas are a bad thing, it flushes out the good bacteria in your asshole which breaks down the shit. If that happens, you're gonna need a shit transplant from a relative. Thats probably why your shit smells so bad. Good luck OP.

i tried to let it out in a gatorade bottle and missed a little and my mom is yelling at me to open the door

>>37489598
PICS

PICS OF THIS

im going to say i was raped and was trying to get the cum out of me i dont know what else to say.

>>37489614
dont say that, they could call the cops!!

Just say you were constipated and needed relief

>>37489614
Literally the worst thing, you'll get done for fake police report etc.

Do this >>37489627.

Also pics of Gatorpoop bottle.

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ok here i wont say i was raped and they wont believe im constipated i was playing with my poo in the tub not just having an enema

>>37489751
OP delivers!
Top kek m8, thought your post was full of shit (g-get it?)

hello everyone hello

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>>37489751
Sweet lawdy Jesus, I had hoped for humanity that it was all a ruse.

But it isn't a ruse at all.

>>37489751
Why are you doing this, do you like things up your ass. Are you gay???

>>37489843
no i just like enemas and poo and the smell of poo

>>37489852
stop immediately, cause it obviously has fucked up your shit cycle making you reliant on the enema

do i need a doctor to help me stop. i am scared of my bowels ripping

>>37488997
Only good answer ITT desu

I can't wait to use this image in two years with the caption "imagine the smell"

>>37489852
Just swallow your pride you degenerate, and tell your parents this.

They'll look at you weird and it'll be a horrible couple of months, but ultimately nothing awful will happen and it'll be a good reason to move out.

Come on Poobro, just tel them the truth.

they unlocked my door i didnt know they had a key my mom picked up the bottle and smeled it and dropped it and theyre freaking out i think theyre freaking out they are screaming and want to take me to the psych ward i am hiding under my blanket crying and i told them i was just constipated but the poo bottle splashed on them and the floor and theyre yelling at me and saying theyre going to take me to a psych ward

what do i do help

>>37490085
Pics of the poopuddle for proof.

Also; as actual human advice, you need to go and tell them the embarrassing truth. Like I said, nothing really awful will come about from it. Also, if you get taken to a psych ward, they'll just say "yeah, he's fairly normal, he just likes poo". Unless, you know, you exhibit other really damaging behaviours.

You're in some deep shit, OP

>>37490176
ok i am explaining the truth from under my blanket i cant take a phot im having apanic attack their is to much yelling i cant take a pictureof my parents with poo on them they would notice and tkae my phone away and i need r9k to keep my sane through this im sorry i cant find my inhaler

just say you were really sick today and then dont do it again

they found my piss bottles and are tearing apart my room

>>37490283
Ride the wave bro.

Deep breaths. It'll be alright.

>>37489852
cut your losses and move to india

>>37489101
Reddit is a few clicks away normalfaggot

>It's another "OP makes a ridiculous claim and can't spend three seconds taking a picture"
honestly kill yourself

>>37490327
he just posted a picture mate

>>37490283
Breathe and i think
You should just tell them, you started doing enema out of curiosity but now you couldnt poo without it.
stick to this and dont say anything else.

op is is too degenerate to even be a person, this has to be bait

>>37490399

In a world where people dress up as babies, shit themselves and then masturbate furiously to animals, I don't think OP is so far off the scale.

He's definitely off the scale, but not so far.

>>37490422
yeah but its not even sexuall, he just does it all the time like some kind of retard

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ok here sorry i had to stop and clm myself

>>37490467
you are on nasty ass nigga

>>37490467
Go to the ward and try to play it off like a scat fetisher Someone who likes to play with shit while intercourse
But don't sperg out or give too much information they might think you have other problems, also if you have to lie about something like friends do it.
OP stay strong you are one of the last robots in this normie shithole.

>>37490467

Well, at least you're hydrated.

>>37490467
like if you were my son i would like let someone adopt you.

>>37488684
You were constipated and you read about this on the internet. STICK TO THIS STORY.

>>37490589

The pissbottles do not keep to this story, and they found him in a bathtub, rolling around in his own shit. I don't think it's going to pass the bullshit test.

Do you dress autistically OP? in that case youre fucked.

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Whats happening now anon, are they still angry???

You should've thrown the shit right at his face, would've been way more understandable.

i am still hiding under the blankie they are cleaning and discussing if they need to take me to a psychologist

>>37490820
Are you involved in the conversation? Because hiding and not saying anything doesn't help your case.

Don't come across as aggressively against it, but hell, it might do you some good man.

they are cutting off my internet goodbye robots

i would appreciate it if i was included in the capping of the screen, please

>>37490949
Run dude

>>37490949

Godspeed, you degenerate.

>>37490949
Now you have no choice but to an hero, sorry man.

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I will award you a rare pepe for your bravery

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OP, you must.

Just play along and act normally starting tomorrow. Pretend nothing happened. It's okay, this usually works.

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>>37490997
Commenting for silver pepe.

Achievement unlocked.

I guess that was my accomplishment of the day.

>>37489852
>i like enimas and poo and the smell of poo
>i like...poo and the smell of poo

wat

>>37490820
>piss bottles
>can't shit without enemas
>likes "poo and the smell of poo"
>shits not into the toilet, but into a bathtub
>"blankie"

Yeah, I think the psych ward might do this crazy nigga some good.

Are enemas really this dangerous?
i don't understand why you wouldn't just use water from the shower. is op's diet really that bad?

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>>37491875
The regular use of enemas can prevent the muscles of the intestine from doing their job properly to move stool along.

OP, just enema yourself into dehydration and die

>>37491907
OP could have solved this problem with some vegetables and a scrunchie. what a fucking dope
>inb4 OP gets a colostomy bag

>>37491997
>inb4 OP wears diapers for the rest of his life

>>37488684
>>37488684
This is fucked beyond belief. I'd kill myself in front of them.

rip in shit, op. I will remember you.

>>37488684

Run away, Simba. Run away and never return.

Man, it sounds like you're fucked pretty hard, you probably deserve it for living with your parents at 22 though.

someone should archive this

>>37489101
Wrong door buddy
Reddit club is two blocks down

>>37489852
Are you documenting this all in your scatlas?

why the fuck didn't he just shit the enema poop into the toilet?

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>its an OP scatatology piss bottle fiasco episode

>>37488684
lol who rushes into the bathroom on their 22 year old son. he deserved to breath in your shit air

>when the 'dad found the enema tub' thread is real

>>37494975
I would just shout through the door that I had horrible diarrhea an would be on the toilet for a while

>>37489751
>>37490467
Must be really loud using a Gatorade bottle.

>>37488753
Stop being a faggot obviously

>>37488684
tell him you get constipation
if you want to fist your self get your own place srsly

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OP's theme song
https://youtu.be/Hy8kmNEo1i8

>>37495317
i didn't need these feels

>>37490467
is that your mom standing right there?
are you posting pics and asking advice from under your blankie with her 2 feet away from you?

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hiromoot delete this board right now
ive seen enough

>>37488684
Someone archive this

>>37488684
You had diarrhea in the shower. Poo in loo from now on.

>>37488684
>>37488753
Tell him your doctor's been telling you to do it for medical reasons, but you were too embarrassed to tell anybody. On a side note how has it affected your health? I would've imagined it'd smell less bad each time you do it.

>>37488684
tell him you have huge haemorrhoids and it hurts like hell to poo, enemas are the only hay you can do it without bleeding like a pig.

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Someone screenshot this thread for me
I'm on mobile

Please screencap this thread
Mobile fag here sorry

>>37495981
>>37496428
I'm gonna edit it but i don't think i will post it in this redditor and normie filled shithole

>>37489852
go to india

>>37494911
laughed hard
nice digits

what kind of bathroom door has no lock

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godspeed pooanon

Whenever I feel sorry for myself, I think of threads like these and realize that at least I haven't fucked my life up this bad. Not yet.

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toasting in genuine bread

god bless you op for making a thread like this, we need more brave anons like yourself to revitalise this board and restore it to its former glory

>>37488684
I have enemas about once a week, sometimes more.
I just use a shower head, turn on shower and regulate temperature to just above body temperature, then push against asshole, the pressure forces the water inside. Sometimes i then get on all fours and spread my ass to gape it a little, this lets air in allowing the water to travel deeper through my intestines.
I don't do it as a sexual fetish though, just practical reasons.
I really don't get why yours smells so bad, mine doesn't.

>>37488684
I had a flatmate that did this shit. The bathtub was crusted with shit and the shower curtain was brown. I didn't know what it was (Old shit so I couldn't tell) so tried to clean it. I probably contracted some sort of disease from that subhuman Turkish piece of shit.

Leave it to a fucking T*rk to be obsessed with shit. I've been infected by that subhuman' diseases. I know it.

I now know that humanity is hopless. You're all just talking monkeys that I should not confer any benefit of the doubt to. Nothing yuo say is ipkrtant or will ever matter. There is nothing you can do to help me other than to be used and abused at my leisure. That is ur prupose becaue i am unto you as a god is.

>>37490085
Mom's gonna FREAAAAAAAAK ! Momma gon freak da fuck out.

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ALL OF THESE SHITTY POSTERS RECEIVE ONE FREE SCREEN CAP

>>37498441
I'm pretty sure some faggot is gonna post this on reddit and get many upboats.

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This is why I come here, for the 0.01% chance that something like THIS will happen.

namdam etulosba

>>37498441
>tfw first time in a screencap

>>37488684
BIow it out your ass

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>>37490467
Wow I guess Americans really do wear shoes around their homes

>>37489852
BACK TO INDIA PAJEET

>>37498441
where is >>37494911?
also great work!

>>37488684
godspeed OP

>>37490820
If they take you to the ward, they wont take you in. Generally they only do that if you are a danger to self or others.

>>37491930
What a beautiful way to go.

>>37494919
Because op is a tard

Christ... this thread.

>>37490949
u will be remembered poOP

>>37488684
if only we had designated shit streets in america this wouldn't happen

i really enjoyed this thread
thank you poonon

Update us if you ever get internet again, godspeed!

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>>37499326
fixed, since you wanted it

Things I've seen on this site
>Annual Christmas Jizz bottles
>Piss bottles
And now shit bottles, to complete the set.

>>37498849
howd o I upvote this omgg

>>37494826
That's what I've been thinking this whole thread lol

This shit is gold. I haven't been here in a while - I'm glad this is the thread I came back to

>>37494981
>DAD FOUND THE ENEMA TUB

This fucking thread kills me, I'm actually laughing so hard right now

>>37497766
This sounds completely safe

>>37498849
it happened it fucking happened this thread cured three years worth of depression, there is something to live for, its these fucking threads. Please, /r9k/ can we have more of this.
Sad thing is, my parents have found my piss bottles but they just laughed at me and my miserable life.

>>37490467
what a shit photoshop, git gud

Annon, Just run away somewhere

>>37488684
tell him you were constipated and you were giving yourself an enema for medical reasons but it didn't go as espected, you were embarassed and didn't know what to do

>>37494876
FuckYou

oiootritreoteutetoeruiowq

>>37489590
wh-what kind of transplant

>>37488684
tell him you were feeling constipated and was trying to take a dump.

ET SKIT SIXPENCEHOMSE & ARMYBOY2K17

This is how it all ends.

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Someone does this. Someone actually fucking shoves their shit water into Gatorade bottles

Include me in the cap

This was a complete shitshow