>"Do you want a receipt for that?" >"Yes

That's a good one, I do that too. Always ask for a receipt. And then trash it.

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>"Would you like to pay with card or cash?"
>"cash"
>wanted to pay by card

I always get away with this one

>spend 49 cents
>pay with card

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>Homeless asks for money
>"I dont have anything on me"
>I actually do

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>Find out that the traffic light buttons dont actually do anything
>Push the button anyway

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>>37468549
>be me
>deep inside of me, it's not me

>>37468707
Dr cia im thredding this post

>>37468691
Traffic light buttons give you more time to walk. It's only useful on streets where the light changes quickly.

>>37468664
>homeless asks for money
>don't have any
>say I do
>open wallet to give him money
>show him it's empty
>look at his cup full of money
>say it looks like I need that money more than you
>steal homeless man's money in the name of socialism
>libtards praise me

>>37468549
>ask for receipt
>ask to borrow a pen
>write on receipt
>hand both back to qt cashier
>wink, tip my fedora and walk out
>wrote "please put in the bin" on receipt

I love fucking with normies

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>Be walking around me neighborhood
>Guy drives by and yells that I am ugly
>Jokes on him I know it already
When will these normies learn I am always 2 steps ahead?

>>37468549
Minnow. I throw it in the bin in front of the cashier without even looking at it.

AH AH AH
A
H

A
H

A
H

>Playing The Legend of Zeld
>old man in cave says "it's dangerous to go alone! Take this!"
>don't take it
>now I can't beat the game

>game says press start to continue
>I press a instead
SOMEBODY LOCK ME UP

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>run as a joke
>don't actually want to win
>somehow win
>ruining the country and doing my best to get impeached so I can leave this shitty job
>literally give top secret information to the Russians
>don't get impeached

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>>37469233
SHADILAY
S H A D I L A Y

S
H
A
D
I
L
A
Y

>"press any key to continue"
>click

>Total comes to a dollar amount plus one cent
>"Ah, shit, I don't have a penny on me."
>They let it slide
>I actually did have a penny

>post on /r9k/
>not having any fun at all
SOMEBODY STOP ME
please

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>"Have a good day!"
>don't

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>>37468549
>see someone taller than me walking towards me
>bow down and give succ
>make manlet thread when i return to my slum

>>37468652

I do this at CVS when buying single photo prints for $0.29