Does anyone need anyone to talk to? Even if you normally

I'm at a roadblock in my diet and fitness. I want to gain muscle and be taller, so I've been on a calorie surplus diet. But Ive gained 30 pounds and two inches on my waist. Some of that weight may be muscle, hopefully most.

>>37451535
Honestly I'd like to talk on something like Discord or something, but I don't know how to use it and I don't have a mic. But having someone who kinda understands your issues would be nice. I mean, I still have friends, but they can never understand the way I feel and think.

>>37451606
I also very recently started my exercise routine again. What routine do you follow? I also have a diy idea to turn my bike into a stationary bike because it's late when I get home and I don't wanna bike in the dark

>>37451626
Well what would you prefer? I'll use anything.

>>37451684
I-I dunno. The prospect of meeting and talking to someone new feels alien to me. Just thinking about it is making me kinda anxious desu

>>37451535
im depressed af but i'll never be able to talk about it, not even to strangers on the internet. thats just how i am ).

File: peoplesuck.jpg (246KB, 625x857px) Image search: [Google]

246KB, 625x857px

>>37451756
Because most people are like this

>>37451756
I'm really sorry you feel that way. I hope someone gets you to open up sometime.

>>37451721
If you don't want to I understand. But I'm a pretty non judgmental person. I like everyone I meet.

>>37451535
ive had anorexia for about two years. been in recovery since about march i think. but ever since ive come home from college for the summer things are going downhill again bcs life is stagnant and everyone is getting really angry at everything i do and i constantly feel like a failure to everyone. i thought i was maintaining my weight pretty well but for the last month it's been dipping again and im starting to do all the disordered shit i used to and its all coming back and i cant go to therapy and i havent had my period for eight months and im afraid im dying fuck i dont know

>>37451983
What brought on your eating disorder? What does it stem from exactly?

>>37451875
Luckily everyone on this board has a general understanding of what that's like. The problem is they just don't have the tools to solve any of these problems.

>>37451925
How would you prefer to talk? Also just so you know, we're very likely in different time zones, me being in South Africa. So I don't know how that would impact potential communication.

File: 1494883859508.png (19KB, 300x250px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 300x250px

Sup compadre
You're kinda cool, not a complete bitch.
I don't know what else to say
My balls itch

>>37452045
True that. And this might sound very pessimistic, but sometimes it can't be solved. There are some cases where it doesn't matter what combination of medication you take or how many sessions of therapy you go to, you just can't be fixed. You're stuck in this endless grey fog.

>>37451626
I'm not OP but willing to talk too. I don't have a discord though, so email or Skype is preferable.

File: crps.jpg (47KB, 448x604px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 448x604px

>>37451535
I wish I had someone to talk to about one particular topic, but I'm afraid you wouldn't understand either. It's rare to meet people who do. I can't talk to my friends or family about it, they are all atheists anyways and block it out completely, my psychiatrists too have only the medical perspective on it and not the spiritual one.. and oh well, are probably afraid to reinforce delusions or something along the line.

Point is I've experienced stuff in my psychosis years back that I can't simply explain with too much dopamine in my brain and nothing more, but it's hard to pin down sometimes. All I know is that it changed me much as a person from an atheist to something more interesting and made me a believer of some kind.

You could also say I still believe in my delusions, despite being medicated and out of psychosis. But yeah, it's still true, or aspects of it hold up critical introvision and contemplation about it.

On one hand this is beautiful and cured my years long depression and feelings of despair on hopelessness, on the other hand, it isolated me from the rest of my friends and family, and everyone around me, to some degree at least.

Ah I don't know.. probably not useful to talk to an anon about it neither, unless to someone who's been through the same or something similar at least.

>>37452095
Hmmm, anti-gravity roast. Good choice.

File: 1494177997689.jpg (18KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 300x300px

>>37452134
I wouldn't say it's hopeless

t. spent 7 months with brainfog and fixed it after a year or so.

>>37452134
I think at that point you have to start looking outside the general recommendations for how to get better and start branching out. Western mental health care places so much emphasis on talking and thinking and sometimes dwelling on your problems. This makes them seem much more severe.

>>37452214
I can't say that I've experienced something like this, but I would like to know more if you don't mind.

>>37452015
ive been ignored for all of my life. not pretty, not remarkably outgoing or social or anything. i never had the experiences those around me did and i assumed it was because i was chubby and average at best. so i ended up skipping meals out of sheer anxiety, isolating myself from everyone even more, and losing seventy pounds andnow im 20 pounds underweight. i get compliments now. people dont ignore me anymore. i got a bf but he really kind of eggs me on because he only likes small girls so i just keep killing myself to be accepted and not invisible idk it's all fucked

>>37452214
I would be happy to hear about it. Not that this means much but I've experienced going completely insane and breaking from reality more than once. I might have a teeny tiny understanding of what it's like, the feeling when sane becomes insane and insane becomes sane.

>>37452240
What would you suggest, anon? Spirituality or something? I don't know that just feels like replacing your problems with delusions or something. I hope I don't offend or anything.

>>37452239
I'm just saying in some cases it probably is. But I'm glad you got that sorted, friend.

>>37452323
I'm not sure exactly. I think most times some of these guys just need someone to give them some basic human respect. There are more complex problems on this board but on a basic level it seems that people just need another human being to notice and care. It's simple really. The more they think about being lonely the more lonely they become.That's why I wanted to reach out today.

>>37451535
I wouldn't say "need" to talk to (because let's face it, all we "need" to live is good, water, air, and shelter) but if you want to talk, I'd like to here from others.

Basically, I'm undiagnosed autist and depressed, but I can almost guarantee I have both. I'm not opposed necessarily to going to a therapist but I really don't see the point. Which leads to my real "problem"; I have no motivation. I just live. The few things I enjoy(guns, video games, and sometimes reading and drawing) I can't really afford to do.
I have no motivation to make more money though, as the things that do entertain me don't make me happy enough to wageslave.
I also hate being around people. If I could find a job that paid ok where I just sat in a room alone I'd be fine. It could be physical too. The next problem is I'd get bored with it. This always happens. I went to college; gave up. Went to navy; gave up. Got job; gave up. Work for mom/NEET; giving up.

I don't know. If you can suggest anything other than drugs and being myself, I'd appreciate it.

>>37452389
Why do things usually lose their luster for you anon?

>>37452260
It's very hard to describe this kind of religious psychosis to someone who hasn't experienced the same.

Most people I talked with online did like to use metaphors, so I'll try to use one. It's like being a fish out of water, that get's dragged on land for the first time, and then gets thrown back into water again.

While on land he can't make much sense out of the things he experiences, air, the sun, the land, everything is strange and chaotic to him, and when he's back in the water again, he needs years of isolation and contemplation to integrate what he's experienced into his new view of the world, because his old one got shattered back then. And then he tries to talk to his fish friend about it, who only know of water. What a mess..

Trying to describe what it felt like when reality crumbled before my eyes and maybe even trying to refer to Gnostic language such as fighting with the Archons and getting to know the Aeon will not get us any further here.. It will only make serve to make me look even more insane and possibly as a sufferer from delusion of grandeur even.

To accurately portray such an experience, we'd need a whole set of new words and new concepts make sense of these things that happen in the psyche alone during those extraordinary times.. and there's more to it than that still. I just wish I knew someone in real life who had such an experience to talk extensively about this I guess..

>>37452270
I think it's obvious to say that the loneliness you experienced as a child is still manifesting itself right now. Can you wrap the head around the fact that it's possible for people to love and care for you?

>>37452379
Respect. And care. I would like to feel that again. But I've reached that point where I don't believe people anymore when they say nice things about me.

>>37452414
I don't know. They just do. I see no benefit in doing anything. Usually I convince myself that whatever I go in to do with be alright and worth it, but then it doesn't and I get out of it. All I "want" to do is move to the woods and die alone. I wouldn't even consider it a want, more so the only thing I'm working towards at all.

File: IMG_1057.png (4KB, 225x225px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 225x225px

>>37451535
>tfw want to try LSD because weed has grown old for me
>tfw do not have a single friend I can ask to tripsit for me
And I'm not about to fucking ask my dealer.

>>37452433
>it's like a metaphor
>proceeds to use simile

>>37452463
You could always make a thread somewhere and ask people to join you on discord, although that seems like a strange suggestion. I know it seems like experiencing connection and sharing experiences is impossible for you anon, but there a lot of people right here that are in your exact same situation. They could use you just as much as you could use them.

>>37452463
From experience, I would say lsd is not worth it. It probably is better when you've never been on anti depressants or depressed in general, but I didn't have many visual effects which was the reason I tried it.

>>37452457
Do the experiences themselves seem worthless or do you see yourself as a person who can't experience them correctly?

Hi OP. Let me fill you in.
Depressed, haven't had sex in 10 years. Haven't held a woman in that long. No women are motherless my age so dating is impossible. NEET. My neighbors are all assholes.

>>37452448
yeah probably. my parents divorce when i was young (7 or 8) and i was forced to pick between them for years bcs they didnt have any kind of custody battle, they just left it up to me. an 8 year old. so that fucked me up becaue theyd both manipulate me and guilt me and lie to me about the other so id stay with them. anyways, when i was 12 i decided to stay with my mom permanently due to growing up and needing girly help and my dad basically said fuck you to me and didnt talk to me for months at a time. so i have shitty abandonment issues lmao youre probably right. i feel the need to be perfect and please people so they wont leave me like everyone else fucking has

>>37452433
On some days I want to start a theology Studium and get into comparative religion studies, following the footsteps of c.g. jung and others, on other days I just want to live an ordinary life far away from all that spiritual stuff, like my normie friends do. But on most days my thoughts bring me back to what I've experienced and it feels like I need to work it through first, before I can move on.

Someone gave me the tip of not carrying the raft that I used to cross the river along with me all my life and it made sense to me. I want to get over this experience, but it's a hard thing to do. I want to move on from it, but every time my thoughts drag me back to it. I think talking about it would help me to move on from it, but there's no one to talk to about it, except someone online, like I do now.

>>37452507
Sorry, I never claimed to be good with words or a smart man..

>>37452552
Did something immediate cause you to fall out of the dating scene or was it a slow progression into your current state?

>>37452546
Everything I do doesn't seem to have worth. I can enjoy things sometimes but I can't see rewards in things. Like, the effort required to save money by workings is worth the money I would make.

Social interactions are meaningless to me, beyond family.

>>37452433
I kinda get where you're coming from, but more along those lines of trying to explain something to someone that you perceive as the truth, but they are unable or unwilling to understand. But maybe whatever you experienced could be explained in the future perhaps. There's still so much that we don't understand about ourselves and the universe (not to mention the possibility of multiple universes) that it is impossible to say what is truth and what is not. Maybe you should write a book. Try to explain what you saw. Maybe they'll be able to unravel it at a later time hopefully.

My job is becoming more stressful every day, been managing this place for over a decade. I am trying to save for a wedding, have 7k saved but need to get another 13k by the end of Octorber 18. My girl is sick and it looks like we are going to have to adopt in a few years.
I have been pretending to be a normie for so fucking long, but it is breaking down. My mask is failing me occasionally.
I need a break, a real break, been having suicidal urgers lately. Fucking need a vacation, just can't leave work. Work requires me here or it won't succeed and I can't have another down month.... already a month behind on the bank payments.
My house is sinking, my balls smell horrible all the time, all my friends just seem distant lately. and my dog has cancer, so I am going to have to put him down in a few weeks.
Fuck
I keep on finding notes I write that continuously say "I want to die" or "hate"
There is something deeply wrong with me, but I can't show weakness, others will sense it.

>>37452578
I think it's possible to see the unique insights you can draw from that experience as a fantastic opportunity. Our world is so static and small. We never get to see outside of it. Many people try all the psychedelics they can to have an experience like that. What you went through can have worth to both yourself and others. What you need to do is try to think about the experience, maybe even write about it. Try to reconcile your experience with the reality you live in now and draw something from it. That's the only way you can experience closure, is to use it as a learning experience.

>>37452580
Women aren't sympathetic to people with mental health issues. They want money and a home. They have no inyerest in nurturing those who are hurt. I tried the dating online thing but being a NEET is like the worst thing. It shows women only care about material things. I also had my heart broken. so i never go out anymore.

>>37452611
Forgive me if I sound stupid here, but I think your problem is you look at the end goal too much. The practical reason we're all doing the things we do. When you analyze it like that, you begin to see all the flaws in human behavior. Life starts to seem ridiculous and pointless. You have to realize that we don't really do anything just for the end goal, and if we do we end up miserable. Think about why you analyze the world that way. I think a different mode of thinking could benefit you.

>>37452780
Yeah, I've thought about that. I just can't ignore the stupidity of it all. I can't become delusional. If I'm not working towards something, why wageslave? I'm. It going to just do something because it's what society says is normal. I don't know. You're probably not a psychologist so I doubt you'll be able to provide anything, not to sound like a douche.

>>37452768
The answer to your problem is not a woman, as much as you think it might be. This is cliche, but you need to practice self improvement before making dating your ultimate goal. You might use the lack of female attention in your life as a crutch to prevent yourself getting better. I'm telling you, it all starts with you here.

>>37452616
>>37452700
I tried writing about it, but finding the right words for it is hard. Well I had a lot of time to think about, and I still do a lot, but it's not the only thing I do anymore. It was a wild ride, and there were paradoxical truths, abstract ones too, that are just very hard to pin down, to put into concepts- to make sense of in this ordinary mode of human reasoning and understanding.

I've never done any psychodelic drugs in my life, but from what I've read from trip reports, aspects of it compare to it. Only that there are no drugs involved, and that it lasts for months and not just for a few hours.

Thanks a lot for talking to me though, and maybe someday I'll really try and put all of my writings in a book or something similar, at least a blog or ebook or something. But another reason I hesitate with this is that I don't want to come off as a deluded prophet of some kind, I don't have any concrete answers to the big questions, as said, I only know that there's more to this thing called life than I presumed as an atheist beforehand, but that's basically it. All I know on top if it is too hazy and fuzzy, if these are the right words for it I don't know, but it's too hard to put into words to be properly communicated I think..

I indeed see it as an opportunity to grow from it though, and I think I already grew much as a person from it too, and I'm curious on where this will lead me in the future. It's just, as said, the isolation aspect with it that kinda bugs me.

>be depressed as fuck
>it shows at work
>Co-worker notices
>almost forces me into a conference room at work
>spill my guts
>she listens to it all, understands and doesn't make fun of me for the stuff I told her
>now getting therapy because of her
>actually feel better

All it takes is one person to make a difference, and I'm truly grateful to her for basically saving my life, try and find someone to talk to, it works wonders

File: 1245786536798.png (59KB, 658x662px) Image search: [Google]

59KB, 658x662px

I'm so fucking tired of being sperg, I thought it was okay but as I get older I face more and more problems.
I'm so tired of seeing people be able to "live" life.
Get up in the morning, greet and talk to people, go to work, enjoy time with their friends at work, go home to their gf or wife, do something enjoyable with others or by themselves and just feel alive and relatable.
>I just wanna be normal
>I want to enjoy having friends and social relationshops
>I wanna be able to have a normal conversation with someone
>I just want an actual hobby
>I wanna have a normal education and job
>I don't wanna end up killing myself

>>37452933
I don't want a woman. I just want someone to do things with.

>>37452898
You're absolutely right. I'm not a psychologist and I'm not very smart either. But I think there are other paths you can take in life. There are so many opportunities for ways to live. The world is big and filled with thousands of cultures. A factory worker or McDonald's fry cook are not the only options available to you, as much as society likes the think they are.

>>37451875
>goes on a date
>gets laid
FUCK OFF NORMIE YOU'VE NEVER TRULY SUFFERED YOUR LIFE IS BUT A SINGLE WAVE YOU'VE RIDDEN ON FOR YOUR ENTIRE EXISTENCE

>>37451721
>>37451756
>>37451983
>>37452214
>>37452270
>>37452389
Looks like I have to go to work, but I enjoyed talking to all of you! Fellow anons, pick up where I left off. Make sure no one gets lost without someone to talk to today.

Society makes, making yoir dreams too restrictive. Gotta pay taxes and shit. Then you need to look good and have connections.

>>37452971
Fuck that, I know people that constantly want me to spill my guts, but I never let them in all the way, because 1 they don't give a shit 2 they stop listening half way 3 nobody can really help me

Usually the shit ends up in them telling me all their problems and me regretting that I told them anything at all

People are stupid in the sense that if you say that you don't enjoy the company of other people that much right now, they take it personally and get offended

And to clarify, I'm not arguing with you or anything, your post just made me think about this thing that happened to me and I kind of just reacted

Either that or I have shit friends.

I don't want their help or sympathy.

File: 1495861370966.jpg (90KB, 280x1920px) Image search: [Google]

90KB, 280x1920px

I hate myself, I can't stand to see people being happy, I get jealousy of them, then angry at them, and then angry at myself. I can't even stand to see a reflection of myself in the mirror, when I do i feel nothing but shame and disgust.

I also feel like no one likes my and doesn't want me around them, and they only talk to me out of obligation, I feel like the moment step into a room, every has a "ugh, he's here" reaction, which makes me hate interacting with people

All I want is friends

>>37453295
Do you have a discord?

vvvvvvvvvv

>>37453295
I want someone to play vidya with if you're in the right timezone
>Central European