Does anyone else's discomfort around girls verge on being

>>37448610
I have this but not as bad.

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>>37448610
So what even if you were showing romantic interest? I know its easier said than done but you really need to learn to stop giving a shit.

I've done that and its improved my life dramatically, and I've actually started getting girls

>>37448687
I don't know how to stop giving a shit pr caring what others think. I can't wrap my mond around that mindset.

>>37448610
The good thing about living in a shit town is that all the women are 40+ and unattractive. But yes, young women, particularly pretty ones, are a nightmare. I'm 25 btw. For some reason I'm usually very curt and rude with girls. Probably to quickly end the interaction as well as make it clear I have no sexual interest in them.
>I want to be clear, I am not going to try to come on to you, so please don't feel the need to reject or criticize me.
That sort of thing

>>37448713

Stop believing you need approval from others.

>>37448687
>its improved my life dramatically, and I've actually started getting girls
same here, except the getting girls part

>>37448713
You have to understand that people don't care or notice you as much as you think they do

>>37448687
This. You just need to not give a fuck.
Mine was severe, mainly because i was fat as fuck.

>>37448738
I didn't get both at once. I stopped giving a shit and took me about a year to get anywhere lol

>>37448757
I was self conscious because of my physical weakness. I went to the gym and it got much better. Also, I'm going to assume OP is young. People are so much nicer as you get older, so you're probably still carrying around scars from school, where kids were way bigger cunts.

>>37448610
>so I stay silent and avoid eye contact

This makes them far more uncomfortable then you are; they're already extremely weary as they have no idea what you're like to talk to, this shows complete disinterest and silence which normies abhor

>>37448757
OP here, I'm fat and assume girls will feel insulted if I seem to be showing interest. However, a couple years ago I tenporarily lost a bunch of weight and it didn't help me feel better around girls.

>>37448844
Who gives a fuck if the girls would feel insulted even if you were showing interest?

>>37448610
USE YOUR EYES AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE MONSTER SO THAT YOU SEE WHAT IT IS DOING!
t. Jordan Peterson

>>37448833
I'll say hi to them when I first see them every day. Luckily they're usually twiddling on their phones so I'm free to do the same. Other times an older coworker might come in and rescue the situation.

>>37448610
This. This so much. When I was in high school, I often got in trouble for staring at girls. Not even girls I found attractive, I just happened to be looking around a room and the lard whales would consider that to be me checking out their body. If I was looking at a girl, I was trying to look down her shirt. Needless to say, it messed me up.

Now I have trouble interacting with any female for the fear that she will get the pretense that I am trying to bone her. Half my thoughts are "Don't make her think you are staring at her boobs" when I simply run across a girl. I have been so messed up by girls getting offended by it that I take it to the other extreme, mainly because I don't trust my eyes not to gravitate to her boobs or pass over them accidentally at some point in the conversation. They are essentially saying, don't look at the largest part of my body, so it becomes paranoia to ensure it isn't interpreted as such.

I can talk to a female, but I often stumble as I am nervous and distracted by constant thoughts to avoid looking at her. I spend a lot of time staring at the males in a place or the ceiling tiles, just because either is better than staring at something I could hypothetically be attracted to. Because that is the thing. I make sure to not look at any girl to the point I don't even know who is attractive or not.

Then they turn around, which might be a sigh of relief if not for the fact I could be checking out their ass. Could she see? No. But there are cameras in the place and she might find out later that I was a creep. Or maybe she has a friend coworker who is still watching. Or maybe one of the males is a white knight. In any event, I need to be on my guard 24/7 around a female to avoid looking at the parts of her body that she is offended by me looking at when in all honesty my eyes like to naturally move around. My eyes will graze by a male's butt or genitals, I just don't freak out like an autist as there is no attraction.

>>37448871
I certainly do, and there's a possibility they will.

>>37448993
Yeah, I'm saying you shouldn't give a shit

>>37448960
What if I told you that some girls may appreciate it if you check them out? Why do you think girls put so much effort into their appearance?

Fucking schools mess kids up way too much I swear

>>37449043
Not him, but chances are he (like me) has shitty self-esteem and thinks they only want to be ogled by attractive people and not bumbling wrecks.

>>37449075
Well I suppose that's true to an extent. Work on your appearance first and foremost (gym, fashion and grooming), then you'll eventually develop the self-esteem and confidence to allow girls to see you in a potentially sexual manner

>>37449043
From what I have heard, girls appreciate it if Chad checks them out. That is if going by /r9k/. From society, girls absolutely loathe being checked out because they feel it promotes rape culture. They just want to wear comfortable clothing and I am molesting them with my eyes. How many times do you see tv shows where the girls are like "My eyes are up here?". Plus, with modern wave feminism I don't think they care about males. It seems to be a rather real issue. I would love to justify it, I would love to just let my eyes wander or even pass by the occasional set of boobs, but I get so paranoid I can't even look at a girl's face.

Schools do mess you up indeed. I have had many adjustments I had to make as I entered the "real world" and saw school was so warped. But I just am unsure about looking at girls. I don't want to go into a store, only to be thrown out because some girl got ticked off that I looked at her when she asked if I was going to pay with cash or card.

>>37448610
Yes but only around pretty girls. I get very sweaty. It's because I never say anything at first

>>37448610
What's the difference between a girl and a dude? one has tits and a vajay, the other has a sea urchin. Whenever there are tits an vajay near you, you can't help but think about what it would feel like to have that, because that's biology. So, think about putting your meat pack in her, embrace it, don't hide from it, because if you try to hide from it, then you'll just be doomed to jerk your little smeckle in the corner of your room for the rest of your life.

>>37449113
As mentioned before, I dropped from 245 to 185 and was still just as scared to talk to girls, mainly because they didn't treat me any differently so I didn't feel "allowed" to be more forward with them. Tried going to the gym for a couple months but didn't improve at all and eventually we moved to the middle of nowhere and I gained all the weight back.

>>37448844
well, i still hate myself, only difference is that i get more attention from girls
still a virgin tho

>>37448960
OP here, I had a similar experience in high school except I was checking her out because she bent over right in front of me. She caught me looking, and later I overheard her telling her telling her friends ("...and anon was staring RIGHT at me") in a disgusted tone.

That said, I've never felt comfortable around girls. Even in primary school you'd get teased for talking to them.

>>37448610
Pretty girls make me immensely uncomfortable. I absolutely loathe them. I usually assume they have a horrid personality and it's almost always true so I give them a wide berth. I will even chose the longer queue at the supermarket solely so the casheer is a guy/old/ugly.

On the other hand, ugly girls like me. I find them gross tho.

>>37449075
>>37449113
I have terrible self-esteem. It is probably one of my biggest problems, it has taken years of evidence to the contrary to realize certain things cannot be true. But I heavily believe I cannot be found attractive by any female, I believe I am pretty much competing with the elephant man without the coolness that his deformities offered.

Funny you mention bumbling wreck, because that is me. I am the modern Chris Farley, except not funny and not famous. Take the movie Tommy Boy, recast it where those bumbling antics are just annoying, and you got me. I am 22, yet I have to be taught how to open a door. I can tie my shoes, but not well, and I often trip if I try to tie them to the point that I just slip them on like slippers to avoid tying them. I often wear my shirts backwards and have my fly down so often to the point that I wear two pairs of pants. I am an embarrassment for my sheer ineptitude at anything a normie can handle with such ease that they cannot explain it to me. So why would a walking trainwreck be desirable if he is also a freak?

Actually, I have been trying to fix up my appearance, I just am very bad at it. I don't do gym, but I do martial arts. I don't really know how to do a proper pushup to the point that my instructors have given up on me. I cannot lift weights without injuring something, the last time I tried I had to be in a cast for a few months. I try to run, but I run out of breath in a few seconds and so mostly limp my way to victory. I cannot figure out the rhythm to a jumping jack, so I just wing it and hope I got it right. I also sweat very easily and am very bad at taking baths, meaning I need to avoid doing anything to make me sweat if I can help it, for two days a week with half hour sessions is bad enough.

>>37449361
We're basically on the same level. 24 and ly parents always have to remind me of shit. My mind is clouded.

>>37449278
In primary school I was the weird kid because I said girls and boys were both fine and the other gender didn't decide if you were a loser or not. Neither gender really wanted to hear that, so I was ostracized.

It doesn't help when there are men who believe you cannot walk up and talk to a female without that interaction being sexual in nature. The males in my family are like that. Needless to say, it was always embarrassing to even say something to a girl to begin with because I would receive a lot of slack about how she was my crush. It got worse in high school, my family sent messages to various girls and threatened them so that they would say hi to me, which of course to them meant I was rolling in girls for some reason. Yeah, my life has been surrounded by people who have messed me up.

>>37449453
Glad to hear I am not alone. I still remember the shame I brought my family when they told me to shovel the driveway and I instead broke all three of their shovels. They forgave the first one, but got fed up with it when I couldn't do anything. They tried to come out and explain it to me at that point, but I hit them in the head with the shovel a couple of times when trying to toss the snow, so they gave up. The computer is the only place where I can do anything without making an absolute mess of it.

>>37448610
Kinda know how you feel. For me the biggest problem is that I'm really unimaginative. I cant say anything in a situation where there is a girl and me. I just overthink and end up looking at the ceiling in discomfort and squinting my eyes. I have said hi sometimes but it always ends there, like I cant think of anything else to say. I think I'm just a super boring person. I cant think why anyone would like me so I just try to keep my distance and lock myself away from public.

>>37448734
Fuck I'm like that too, the difference being that I'm slightly more comfortable with ugly girls.
How do I fix this shit

Sort of. I think it comes from being attracted to their bodies yet hating them as individuals.

>>37448734
In order not to get rejected we reject ourselves first.

>>37449361

In my case, I avoid eye contact because most girls are annoyed when they realise that I was looking at them. This is because I'm not a very interesting person, both in looks and personality.

>>37449149
>From what I have heard, girls appreciate it if Chad checks them out. That is if going by /r9k/. From society, girls absolutely loathe being checked out because they feel it promotes rape culture.

Or maybe most of robots are ugly and uninteresting guys, which explains the rejection.

>tfw you have had a gf for 3 years and still get nervous around her

>>37448610
>so I stay silent and avoid eye contact
>Pretty girls make me immensely uncomfortable. I ... I give them a wide berth.

Pretty much what I do too. Not really holding any premise about their personality or hate them desu. I just expect they will have bf or orbiters anyway, so I'll rather avoid the trouble and rejection.
If they really wanted to talk with ME they have mouths of themself, last I looked.

>>37450389
When I said that, I meant it like you said. Chad is who they want because robots are ugly and uninteresting. I am ugly and uninteresting. Thus, I don't deserve the right to look at girls.

>>37450389
>Or maybe most of robots are ugly and uninteresting guys, which explains the rejection.
That's just another way of saying the same thing

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i start shaking uncontrollably whenever a pretty girl looks or talks to me. does that count?

>>37448610
>Does anyone else's discomfort around girls verge on being a full-blown phobia?

Same but not just females but anyone that isn't very close family or friend