>take long time to shit >usually 15-20 minutes >have

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>use poop stool
>poop falls right out
>only have to wipe once, twice for good measure

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I'm the exact same way, but instead of 15-20, it's 20-30 minutes. 15 minutes is if I'm really quick. I also take a long time to clean myself-I wipe, then wet some paper towel to clean the area, then wipe again until it's nice and squeaky clean.

I've read literally thousands of pages on the toilet by now. It's actually my favorite time of the day, and I relish taking a long dump with a quality book.

Unfortunately, wagecuckery means pooping needs to be done at certain times, which makes this less enjoyable now.

My family knows all about my problem; it's been going on for over a decade.

Eat more fiber. I post as fast as I piss.

>>37439394
been taking psyllium husk capsules and it hasn't sped my shits up any, just made them less soft

>>37439312

Do one of those colon cleanse kits. It comes with a fiber drank and laxative tea to drink at night. You take it for a month then you are regular thereafter.

>>37439424

Drink LOTS of water, consider upping your salt intake. Take magnesium pills too.

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>>37439343

Talk about your ancient memes...

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>>37439424

I'm pretty much a shitting expert at this point.

First, don't use the capsules. Get the ground up stuff; the original metamucil is probably best. Make sure you take it with a LOT of water. The more water I get throughout the day, the easier and faster my poops. You are probably dehydrated to some degree.

Second, see

>>37439343

and get yourself a poop stool so you can get your legs high up and sit in a more proper position for shitting. Squatting is the proper form for defecation; western toilets and western diets are destroying our digestive lives.

Also, it goes without saying that you should eat lots of vegetables and limit your meat intake. Be careful with caffeine; it causes you to urinate, which dehydrates you.

Also, are you extremely stressed? Stress actually produces physical issues with the gut that can manifest in ways like constipation.

>go eat lunch
>get back to work
>start to get thirsty so fix myself a water to drink
>drink water and bowels almost instantly start to feel weird
>go sit on the toilet
>first turd usually comes out alright
>after that it's like trying to get one more bead out of a tube of toothpaste
>turds have a weird mucus on them
>always feels like there's a small amount of shit left in my immediate asshole
>strain and strain and it never comes out except in tiny little pieces
>at least a 15 minute endeavor
Every day.

>>37439512
>Get the ground up stuff; the original metamucil is probably best.
isn't that stuff a choking hazard, though? i'm terrified of choking to death on this shit. why would it matter whether it's in a capsule or not?
>You are probably dehydrated to some degree.
i doubt it because my piss is always very clear, only rarely does it get yellow. sometimes it feels like i'm drinking too much water, if anything, because my insides get uncomfortable, especially when i'm chugging water with the psyllium capsules (because they tell you you need to drink at least 8 oz. with it).

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>>37439600

The doctor told me the ground up stuff is best.

It's a "choking hazard" like pretty much any food is. If you mix it with enough water, you'll be absolutely fine; I've had no problems with it and I use it daily.

What's your diet like? You might have something like a mild gluten sensitivity that is exacerbating other issues, or some chemical in something you're eating could be causing problems.

You're probably going to want to try an elimination diet if you can't resolve it otherwise, so you can figure out exactly which foods do what to you.

And again, avoid meat. Today's mass-produced, antibiotic-laced meat is probably worse for you than smoking a pack of cigarettes everyday.

>>37439746
i already tried low fodmap once just to see if it would help, but it didn't, thought to be fair i'm not sure i adhered perfectly. that shit is almost impossible, it excludes too many foods that are in everything. also you must be kidding about avoiding meat. it sounds like my choices are inconvenient poops or dying of malnutrition. i think i'll have to choose the former.

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>>37439865

Just read and enjoy your poops then, anon. Reading philosophy on the toilet is a pleasure only a few of us can savor. If someone bitches about you taking long tell them you have a medical condition (protip: you do and this is legitimate to say).

I have to go home and completely undress before I disinfect the toilet seat and take a shit

>poo instantly every time
>full, resting pythons +90% of the time
>only ever had diarrhea once in my adult life

Ask me anything

>>37439312

maybe you're trying to shit when you don't really have to go.

it takes me just a few seconds to shit.

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>NOT SQUATTING TO P00P

Chinese have healthier colons than you because the squat over a hole to poop