When did you lose your sense of hope? What was were your dreams

File: 1494186252538.jpg (72KB, 709x765px) Image search: [Google]

72KB, 709x765px

>>37438258
>first day at college
>already prefer being alone, but college life is way too social for me
>become incredibly bitter and hateful towards normies
>realize I've lost all passion for my major (biology and environmental science)
>don't give a shit about the world anymore
>also realize I most likely have autism and at least one personality disorder
>know I will never get a degree or high paying job
>plan on dropping out
>too scared to tell my mother
>will never tell her unless she asks because I'll pass out if I go to initiate it

I knew I had underlying issues back in 11th grade, but I dismissed them. But once I set foot on campus, it went right downhill. And this was only 9 months ago

>>37438364
What's your situation like now? are you still at college?

>>37438503
I've been home for a week, waiting for the inevitable situation where I have to tell my mother I want to drop out. She has no idea and I'm terrified of how it will change the future. I don't want a job, but I want to help my mother. I never want to set foot on campus again, I'm done with college forever. Nothing really makes me happy anymore, or at least nothing that matters, and my suicidal and depressed thoughts are coming back, just as I thought I got over them.

So all in all, not too well. My 19th birthday is in two weeks, but I don't know if I'll be alive to see me turn 20

>>37438258
Never really had too much hope to begin with and with passing time it diminishes even more.

>>37438651
Mine's in two months, and I don't plan on being around for it. I have no future, and nothing to make me happy, so I might as well just get out now.

>>37438776
If you're serious, why off yourself? I know it's easier said than done but if you have nothing to look forward to you open yourself up to endless possibilities.

>>37438843
I'm too useless to actually do anything, but I'm not useless enough to qualify disability money. I don't have any opportunities, and even if I did, I don't see any worth nor feel any fulfillment from them.

>>37438258
For me it's 7th grade, so age 13

I was playing football at lunch with the other kids when I accidentally tripped this kid. I yelled sorry man! And went to help him up. He accepted but when I turned around to keep playing, he punched me in the back of the head.

I was a mean little fuck back then, so I jumped up, tackled him and started beating his face in.
By the time they pulled me off him I had knocked out five teeth, broke the shitheads jaw, his nose, and concussed him.

Dragged to the office, and they blame me even though 20 kids saw him sucker punch me for no reason and defend myself, and they attest to this
Those faggot cucks say I "esceleted the situation to an unnessecary, extremely violent level"
Give me 3 weeks suspension while fuckboy gets nothing
Tell me I've committed a crime and I'm lucky that the boys family isn't prosecuting
No shit, they aren't prosecuting because their son is a violent cunt and they know it.
Threatening a 13 year old with assault charges for fucking retaliating is bullshit
I fucking hate the public school system

>>37438924
I dont have any experience with the following but its what id do in your situation anyway: do a shit ton lsd mushrooms etc and hope you find out some crucial knowledge about yourself

>>37439028
That sucks anon, i don't want to get political on here but shit like that happened to me and its no ones fault but systems

>>37439071
You know the root of it though?

It's this culture of Law suits we have in America.

Everybody sues over fucking everything so schools and other systems get scared of getting taken to court, then they do stupid bullshit like this

>>37439099
Yeah people overreact in general. As much as it sucks though if we let kids fight it out we wouldn't be able to draw the line between that type of situation and bullying/abuse. As terrible as it is its the best we can do in today's America

>>37438258
When I turned 30 is pretty much when I gave up. All those years of clawing my way and busting my ass to achieve.....nothing.

Live just wasn't worth the effort and I regret ever having tired to begin with. If I had to do it again, I'd probably just pick up a drug habit and get stoned out of my head.

>>37438651
>My 19th birthday is in two weeks, but I don't know if I'll be alive to see me turn 20

Ugh...you don't want to be. 10 years afterward you'll be 30 and even more miserable from my experience.

Around a year out of college.

When I was in 9th grade and alone, getting shitty grades. Never had a concrete dream but I always wanted a job involving drawing.

File: CR3rmRhWUAA0i8b.jpg (49KB, 600x333px) Image search: [Google]

49KB, 600x333px

>>37439440
I had been working menial office jobs since I graduated and slowly realized I would never become some great tech guru or indie game dev that I believed. My above average intelligence and work ethic just could not compensate for my poor social skills and working class origins. I was just gonna be stuck in the cube doing boring pointless shit for the rest of my life.

some time in highschool. it wasn't any particular event, just the realization that i would never get "the girl", would never have those great friends, never land the dream job, etc.

>>37439383
Ouch, that sounds similar to how I feel, except tack on a few more years to your 30. Of course being pessimistic and defeatist won't help but it sucks to realize so much time and effort were invested into things that didn't pan out nearly as well as they could. All those life choices where I zigged when I should've zagged and all.

>>37438258
post more lammy

18

fell in love with a 14 year old girl, then she got raped (not by me)

wanted to die ever since, but too much of a coward for suicide

File: the internet really is something.png (2MB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1920x1080px

>>37438258
>be 19yo fagit
>dating girl from hometown (moved away to the same state, she'd been planning on going to a different state but went with me instead)
>be happy and shit

>get hit by a truck who didn't bother to look for other cars before merging lanes, was getting on the highway from a stop sign so hit pretty hard
>both of us spend months in the hospital
>it's so surreal I believe I'm in a lucid dream for about two months
>she doesn't even wake up for almost a month
>about a decade later, she's still in psychiatric care and I'm just a brain-damaged cripple who wants to die

File: 1466303949124.png (222KB, 862x792px) Image search: [Google]

222KB, 862x792px

>tfw low standards
>tfw always reach your goals

File: uOAxzgl.jpg (13KB, 236x236px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 236x236px

>>37439839
>tfw low standards
>tfw still don't usually meet my goals

File: 1479857480468.jpg (85KB, 600x800px) Image search: [Google]

85KB, 600x800px

>>37438258
When I was twelve and found 4chan. I had lost some of it when my dad died when I was seven of cancer but I lost the rest when I found this hellhole. The rest went downhill along with my social life and I became a beta recluse. Turns out this place really can give you autism.

File: IMG_5686.jpg (53KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

53KB, 1280x720px

>>37439028
Nigga, you did escalate the situation to an unnecessary level. It's cool to punch him a few times to teach him a lesson, but you didn't have to ruin his face.

There's a difference between self defense and attempted murder. Jesus Christ

>>37439959
Nah, you can't sucker punch a nigga from behind for no reason after he helped you up and expect not to get your face ruined

OP, I lost any hope at all for the normies of the world around middle school, when I realized that the majority of people, even if they don't show it, are selfish, vain, stupid, and unwilling to change their opinions if they are challenged. But, after I realized that, I realized something else. I remembered that there are thousands, hundreds of thousands of people like me, people who know that there is no superman to step in and make things right in our degrading society. And I realized that we fewer people have to be the change that we and everyone else so desperately hope for. We have to be the people that the majority and ourselves hope to see, the people that will bring change for the better to the world that we inherit. It is our duty as the next generation to carry on, and seek to improve what we see. It doesn't matter how jaded, cracked or broken you are, or how bad you suffer from being socially awkward. It doesn't matter how bad things may seem or are in your life, because it will pass. Take comfort in the fact that there are others like you, and rejoice in the fact that you can take control of your life any time you want, and be the change for good that you want to see. So think positive, find friends, do something, anything, to rise above the self-pitying robot boards you post in and begin your contribution towards a future that is better for the majority AND the minority. Contribute to a better future for you, dear Anon, and every other Anon out there.