Oh hi, Anon, you seem surprised to see me on your bed. Who am

>>37432214
>this woman is probably being destroyed by muhammad rn

>>37432214
why does she speak like an rpg character

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>>37432214
>there are robots on here who would rather fuck some random whore than save themselves for their one true love even if that moment never comes

Heh.....

Alright. We'll have sex in the missionary position for a bit, and then with you on top. We can also exchange oral. The entire time I will be wondering in the back of my mind if this is a setup so 12 guys can come in and bash my skull in and rob me of everything I have.

>>37432276
1. "I just finished hard boiling these eggs and I was about to shove these up my ass... I could use some assistance."

2. "Can you put on this brony costume?"

3. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE FEMALE SCUM REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

4. "What's sex?"

>>37432309
>one true love
Buddy I have bad news for you

>>37432352
what if i just stand there and dont say anything

is that an option

is there a time limit

>>37432379
You may choose that option.

There's no time limit.

>>37432214
>do misionary

>>37432214
would you like a bowl of eggs?

>>37432214
Okay, great. Could you go make me some dinner, clean my apartment, and then give me twenty bucks? You can crash on the couch until I think of more things for you to do.

>>37432503
Dude, you don't ask. You give her the bowl and tell her she has to eat it. Duh.

>>37432309
>putting your virginity on a pedestal
No wonder you're still a fucking virgin

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>>37432214
>tell her to bend over, arch her back, ass up, face down
>proceed to mount her
>blast her insides with cum after 10 seconds of thrusting
>repeat 10 to 15 times a day, everyday.

Obviously.

>>37432214
where is your cock?

>>37432214
Get the eels.

>>37432214
i'd become here bitch and do as im told

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>>37432214
>You can have me do anything you want me to do!
Ok, come with me to a lake, swim around and goof around while we laughing like morons. Then we get some stupid hipster drinks and hold hands. Finally, find some secluded place and dance to lofi indie pop and then fall asleep together.


then wake me up because it was all a dream.

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>>37432214
>Exit apartment, this is obviously a setup
>Make sure I'm armed and can call the police
What are you retards thinking?

I'd release her back into the wild.

She belongs with her pack of roaming naked women in the wild, not held captive.

I'd get so many fucking likes.

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>>37432214
>Why, I am your new sex slave!
>You can have me do anything you want me to do!
I'm going to need you to put on some weight and start inducing lactation. You're my own personal dairy cow now.

>>37432214
Can you be me slave without the sex? Go get me some new shoes. I'm too autistic to go out and do it myself. Size 11.5 please.

I honestly don't even know what I'd do anymore. What the fuck even is life.

>>37432214
"make me macaroni and cheese and then kindly leave"

>>37432352
[Intelligence This has got to be a set-up]

>>37432214
This is my chance to get a friend!

>don't like blondes
Is there some kind of return policy? I'm pretty sure I wrote "no blondes" on my order.