>be Jewish >can't afford uni anymore >about to

>be John Malkovich

>>37418694
no, it's
>beING John Malkovich

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>be Jewish
>can't afford uni anymore
>about to be evicted
>don't have a gf

>call up my jew uncle or grandpa or father and tell him to give me all of these things
>he obliges

>>37418193
How do I become a shabbos goy?
I wanna be a good goyim

>>37418747
My father lives with me and is also about to be evicted. Both of my grandfathers are dead. I'm not close enough to my uncles to ask them for free shit.

>>37418761
Just call out durr Nutzis wherever they are, which is to say, literally nowhere but /pol/.

>>37418193
Did you try asking the NWO for an advance on your allowance?

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>>37418816
you and your father must not have payed attention to the talmud when Rabbi Bergstein was orating when you were young. it teaches you pretty clearly how to subvert the goyim.

good luck kike, watch out for any ovens

>>37418193

Just call Howard Stern and he will hook you up that's what I did

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>>37418193
How Jewish are you?

>>37418193

> Implying every single Jew is in on the satanic cabal

>>37419261
I once ate a whole bagel plain.

>Yeah... so?

Without any lox...

>Uh-uhm r-right this way

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>>37418193
>tfw no jewess gf to initiate you into the illuminati and take you to her jew palace in Israel to command her personal defense forces

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>>37418761

first step is get circumcised if you aren't

>>37418844
I don't know how to reach them.

>>37418858
Children don't hear about the talmud. Only serious, grown scholars do.

>>37419261
I'm not religious, but I'm 100% Ashkenazi.

>>37418193

There is some charity or fund you can leech off of if it gets really rough. Your condition is insultingly benign and temporary.


All Jews are given a few years where they're poor so as soon as they're handed a job through nepotism they can pretend that they "started from the bottom."

>>37419888
>There is some charity or fund you can leech off of if it gets really rough.
Called.. ?


>All Jews are given a few years where they're poor so as soon as they're handed a job through nepotism they can pretend that they "started from the bottom."
And who do I contact about that job?

>>37419942

At your local jewish center. Fuck off.

>>37418193
Jews are literally the most privileged people on earth

>>37419976
>local jewish center
JCC? I don't think they have those here.

Find a Chabad, anon. They might help sort you out. Don't be intimidated, the rabbis there accept those who are less religious than themselves.

>>37419825
>white+jewish privilege
>still failing

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>>37419804
when is the U.S. gonna wake up?
original132

>>37418193
>he doesn't know about the inner circle

also, nice pic you dumb fucking faggot. You really are jewish.

>>37420581
I hadn't heard of a Chabad before you prompted me to Google it. Good idea!

>>37420838
>implying Jews are white
If Jews weren't a race, you'd be able to quit being one.

>>37423132
Reaction images are a staple of this website, dude. It's a fucking imageboard.