Describe your perfect partner. Your unicorn, if you will. Include

she would love me without me having to change anything about myself.

>She's an android bodyguard
>has no soul, no personality
>Is beautiful beyond limits of human biology
>Destroys my enemies
>hyper intelligent
>Can take her out to dinner

An older woman who likes being called mommy in bed.

mean, doesn't understand people, mental illness, hates women, poor, ugly, khv, use drugs and alcohol, smoke, stinks, short and skinny, controlling, manipulative, weak mentality, negative all the time and complains a lot

this is my dream bf

THE LIST

>White
>Blue or green eyes
>Thicc butt/hips/thighs
>Good sense of humour, can keep a joke going
>Knows her maymays, both new and ancient
>Easygoing, not that amibitious
>Nice but can give/take bantz
>No major mental issues
>Emotionally available
>Won't cut contact without warning
>Doesn't drink much or do drugs
>Enthusiastic about some things, generally optimistic
>Virgin
>Indoorsy
>Plays Nintendo vidya
>Enjoys 50's/60's music or at least likes hearing me talk about it
>Takes some initiative in conversation, asks what I'm up to, etc.
>Either likes fat dudes or will push me to lose weight

Basically a female that plays the same games I play on the PC. And thoroughly enjoys sharing each other's company. Could be an online friendship with flirting and teasing, if not IRL.

>>37374233
Unironically literally me without a doubt.

>>37374136
Someone I can save and simultaneously save me, someone damaged like me. We could make each other happy and be better people together.

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>>37374136
Physically
>19 or 20
>5'9
>fairly skinny
>blue or green eyes
>blonde hair dyed red
>dresses in hipsterish clothes or very casually
>virgin
>never had a boyfriend before

Personality
>very posessive of me
>wants to cuddle a lot
>enjoys rpg video games, irl roleplaying
>incredibly loyal, wants nobody but me
>dominant in a caring, affectionate way
>we meet three or four times a week, gives me space
>goes the the gym with me and helps me be socialble
>authoritarian left politics, maybe a bit racist
>wants to get married by 25
>high average/ above average intelligence
>into drawing, draws cute things for me
>likes larp or anime, helps me get into these things
>studies history or chemistry at my uni
>is introverted ,but less so than I
>lower middle class upbringing
>deep, rich voice
>maybe watches twitch streams
>maybe slightly depressed, though hopefully less that I am

To be wanted, and have someone to talk to would make me happy more than anything. I'll probably die alone though.

wbu, op?

>>37374233
More like nightmare. Such a creature could only make for a miserable relationship.

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>>37374136
>claims to be something like an absurdist but is clearly a closeted nihilist
>once you peel back off all the mental dysfunction and snarky humor is a genuinely kind and empathetic person
>shy and reserved but opens up and loves harder than anyone else
>intelligent, creative, passionate, and always wants to be on the cutting edge

either pale redhead chestlet or a metaphysical AI with no corporal form

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>>37374136
Mine is absolutely impossible and you will all start to read it and say 'thats me!!! :)' but finish thinking 'you unrealistic roastie whore reee'.

Basically someone really close to either Justin Roiland or Louis C.K. Chubby, awkward, nervous, shy, cute, sweet, funny, but also keeps the creativity flowing constantly and are literally GROUND breaking artists, key word artists, drawing/painting/animating preferable. I want that because that's what I am and I want me and my partner to team up to create animated works. Also I love how they are liberal. I need me a liberal. And they occasionally do psychedelics. All our beliefs need to align for me to work with them. SO someone who's a autistic creative genius awkward freak has weird kinks. I love a submissive whos going to worship my feet and drink my piss. I need someone who can both think as fast as I can and create his own ideas that constantly make me laugh. A funny guy will make me constantly squirt when we fuck.

Also I want reiterate I know its unrealistic and unlike you complete autists I don't think I'll actually meed someone like this.

>>37374623
I'm a girl btw. Rofl. Here come the comments.

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Physically

>Around 5'9
>Skinny, no more than 130lbs
>White
>Small breasts, no more than an a cup
>Small ass
>Short, Black hair
>Pretty, but not overly girly
>Physically stronger than me, coupd overpower and pin me down if she wanted

Personality

>Dominant, initiates sex, likes to make sure everyone knows I'm her's, always is on top in sex
>Possessive, doesn't like me talking to other girls, likes to cuddle with me
>Clingy, hates me being away for more than a few hours
>Tomboyish, likes sports, videogames, doesn't like wearing girl clothes
>Semi-Traditional, wants to raise a family with me, wants to get married asap
>Shows interest in my stupid hobbies, will listen when I talk about them
>Emotionally sensitive, will comfort me through times of depression, and wants me to comfort her
>Funny, has a genuinely relaxed and ironic sense of humour
>Optimist, will help me find a better way to view myself
>Total Virgin like me, never even held hands before
>Shares some of my kinks, like light femdom
>Will push me to cut out negative people in my life
>Likes to tease me, still isn't overly serious
>Will be the big spoon in bed

>>37374623
literally no one cares you're a girl

>>37374136
I genuinely think that girl is fucking adorable and sexy and I'd message her on okcupid.

>>37374136

I'll never find a guy like this, but anyway

>5'6-5'9
>White/East Asian/maybe like Spanish or something like that
>Nice lips
>Medium to long haircut, best color light brown/burnt-out/blonde
>Doesn't smoke, drinks only occasionally
>IQ doesn't matter as long as it's above 105, high emotional intelligence to cover on mine
>Feminine in some ways, but not full-on femboy/trap
>Best MBTI would be INFP/INTP with an almost full balance between thinking/feeling
>Non-religious but not raging anti-theist
.>Skinny/kinda chubby sort. Anything but muscles/fat
>Not a cunt
>Will do cuddlez

>>37374774
This is me.

Don't know why you said you'd never find a guy like this, that's not ambitious.

>>37374623
This is exactly what having mania is like.
But what the fuck do you have to offer other than having a vagina and leeching off their talent like a parasite to someone far more talented than you.

>>37374825

I have never in my life seen a guy that has even half of these qualities. Macho man are disgusting and fags are usually either too feminine or not bf-material.

If that's you, you are a rare kind. May we cross paths one day :\

>>37374774
>me

a lot of guys like this at uni

>>37374881
>>37374774
Why are you assuming some who has msucles/lifts weights is a macho man? Have you ever even been on fit? Its r9k lite and most people tehre starting lifting to cure depression.

I just want a cute girl who will violently murder me. Why is this so hard to find?

>>37374928

Both of these posts are me, same guy lol
Macho usually refers to a masculine man. Muscles are masculine.

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>>37375039
>Both of these posts are me, same guy lol
ya i know that dumby that why i clicked both lol xDDDDD lmao
anyway
>Macho usually refers to a masculine man. Muscles are masculine
So someone who just generally enjoys lifting weights for health benefits is still out? Thats pretty stupid.

>>37374928
>>37375078
Rejecting all immediately is dumb, but even the depressed ones often put on a bit of a "manly" persona and are into "manly" hobbies like hiking. Someone who wants a super feminine stay at home neet will then be incompatible with the vast majority.

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>slighter taller than me
>chubby and soft with a big plump belly
>sweet and comforting disposition
>ALWAYS is the big spoon
>takes the lead during sex
>rewards me and punishes me sexually based on my behavior
>calls me her baby body
>supports me
>always tells me how much she loves me and how proud she is of me
>takes care of me
>breastfeeds me
>buys me vidya
>let's me kiss and rub and lick and lay on and love her big, plump belly

i have mommy issues, if you can't tell

>>37375157
baby boy* fuck

physical traits:
>6' tall
>large breasts
>small waist
>heart-shaped ass
>dark hair
>full lips
>long fingers
>slightly older than me

personality traits:
>NEET and no desire to not be a NEET
>is always high/drunk
>very demanding and doesn't take no for an answer
>only has femdom sex with me
>masturbates with xl dragon dildos
>is a general tease when she's not domming me

I know this person doesn't exist.

>>37375276
>>NEET and no desire to not be a NEET
>>is always high/drunk
>>very demanding and doesn't take no for an answer
>>only has femdom sex with me
>>masturbates with xl dragon dildos
>>is a general tease when she's not domming me

why are you living in this la la land? this is sad

>>37374255
>I'm a manchild with seriously shitty hobbies
Christ

>>37374136
>she can read my mind (better yet any mind but that would be a bonus)
Nothing else really matters, but this is completely impossible so I can't even hope to ever have my dream come to life

>>37375299
I am fully aware that someone like that most likely does not exist. It's not like I'm going to hold out for a partner that has all of those traits. Thank you for the (You), though.

>>37374190
same, but I don't want to take her out for dinner

>chubby (fat is fine too)
>good sense of humour
>at least 5'5 (I'm 6'3 so don't want someone too short)
>likes to read
>likes to stay in cuddling watching movies or playing vidya
>but also likes to go out and explore new places sometimes, experience things together.
>supportive of my issues around depression/anxiety
>affectionate/clingy
>will let me go down on her a lot
She must be out there somewhere, bros

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>short
>skinny
>short hair
>bubbly personality
>hates niggers as much as I do
>asks me to open pickle jars and get stuff from the top of the fridge
>eternally loyal
That's really it.

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I made this. I found like 3 women who met this criteria,one of which yesterday ghosted me after I told her I smoked pot once. Guess she wasn't it.

The dominance/assertiveness is just something I feel she actually loves me.

>>37375428
hey it me exact i'm 5'2 sorry anon

>>37374774
Sounds pretty close to me, can you describe yourself aswell?

>>37375599
I-I'll make an exception on one point

physical traits:
>white-skinned male
>6'2 or taller
>big veiny man hands
>lotta dark body hair
>masculine facial features
>22 - 26 years old
>thicc dicc

personality traits:
>will listen to my sperg fits about nier/drakengard/DS lore and monsters
>extremely dominant and demanding inside and out of the bedroom
>willing to choke and belt me
>gives and takes quality bants
>avid gamer
>hasn't had over 3 sexual partners
>likes clingy and possessive insecure girls

basically i'm an autist with daddy issues

>>37375664
24, 6'3, hairy as a bear

L O N D O N

>>37375640
pls elaborate on yourself anon :)

>>37375543
>le holohoax


do you have autism?

>>37375689
heck, nice. am 21 and 5'8
B I R M I N G H A M

>>37375690
6'3, white (kinda Mediterranean look). Brown hair, bearded (I don't mind shaving but like to have at least stubble)

I'm a little shy but chill and easygoing,and a bit of a hopeless romantic. I-is there anything in particular you wanted to know?

Also, where are you from?

>>37375756

I just put that in for shock value but whatever.

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>blue or green eyes
>fair skin
>under 24
>5'7" or shorter
>slim waist
>busty
>feminine voice
>nice teeth (not too yellowed, or many crooked ones)


>agnostic or non-practicing
>pragmatic
>has no interest in orbiters
>wants to be a mother someday
>sees the value in carrying a firearm
>likes "quirky"/offensive humor

>>37375765
I should add I'm not really a 24/7 dom. I like to be a soft caring Daddy sometimes, particularly if I've been rough with you I'd like to pamper you a bit afterwards. Not sure how that'd work for your wants though

>>37375874
>>37375756

Adding to that, it would be nice for someone to actually to be that skeptical without being a /pol/ meming retard just based on the evidence.

I haven't done much research on it because I got way more important things to figure out than proving a historical event wrong that everyone hold as truth and it's better to focus my energy on something but essentially the numbers are a bit exaggerated just like most war statistics and some of the stuff I have seen, even if it's fabricated, makes you question the narrative.

>>37375916
double heck
Sounds cute. That's the ideal thing, ain't it? Cuddles after rough lewds and stuff like that.

>>37375996
Heck yeah it is

Give me your email address.

>>37376195
ok ok, [email protected]

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>>37375364
What the hell's the point of having this gorgeous, perfect being with you if you can't even go to a nice restaurant with her? Half the allure of this android is using her as an accessory, making normies jealous. Then when some nigger inevitably hits on her or insults you, she breaks his arm and calls him a worm.

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>>37374136
>>37374136

>likes to play video games and watch anime
>likes to workout, eat healthy, stay in shape
>basically enjoy some nerdy interests but also have other "normal" interests as well, well-balanced
>supportive and nurturing, but has direction for her own life as well
>enjoys the occasional intellectual conversation
>shares some of my strongest beliefs and values, and is open-minded about other ones of smaller value
>ears poke out from her hair (very weirdly attracted to this)
>when writing this i was picturing a petite pale girl with chin length blond hair but idk if thats my ideal


guess its really hard to find a girl who i can go for a run/play a sport with, come home and cook a good meal, then relax under a blanket and play video games until we have sex.

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>>37374136
>Shares no language with me
>Cooks and sings
>Can dance
>Admires me
>Womanly physical features
>Dark wavy hair
>Either porcelain white or arabic
>Either 5ft or 6ft (I'm 6'4)
>Enjoys the outdoors, dogs
>Massages/washes me
>Will stargaze with me and listen to my bad poetry
>Gives godly succ

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Preferably younger than me. Isn't a bitch, doesn't nag me, can be understanding and doesn't fight me or argue or contest me over petty shit. Can share my interest aswell as her, ideally she looked like pic. Related, the current girl im fucking looks like an older version but she's married

>>37375664


> tall, jacked and broad shouldered
>white
>hands veiny, rough and calloused as fuck from work and training
> 7x5.5 inch benis
> train boxing for years so literally exude confidence and/or dominance in every social setting
...
>tfw low amount of body hair and averagely masculine face from native american genes
>tfw ill never be a daddy


rly tho is it even possible to have a girl like this who isnt extremely insecure? the last 2 girls i had like this, their insecurities ruined everything.

Flat chest
5'2" or shorter
Fat is fine; obese isn't.
Beta autist
Actual hobbies and interests
Preferably some kind of goal in life even it's a pipedream

Don't care about political beliefs as long as the person in question is capable of agreeing to disagree. Would even date someone who believed some socjus stuff if they weren't a radical militant sperg.

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>>37374136
>girl (female)
>height between 5'1 and 5'8
>deaf
>cute asf, no dyed hair or brows al natural
>willing to explore my kinks as I will hers
>slimmthicc
>tfw if i was a time traveller i would waifu 18-24 yo shillary and fuck the democrat out of her

>is female
>is alive
>loves me and won't cheat on me

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>mature
>kind and compassionate like a mommy
>cowtits
>a bit chubby
>average/cute face
>taller than 5'4

it most likely won't happen though

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>>37374190

>tfw no qt android to buy and install upgrades and parts for
>no inquisitive learning sessions on random topics that strike her interest
>no cuddling until she starts initiating prolonged hugs all on her own under the guise of conserving energy

It hurts bro.

>Olive complexion
>Small breasts
>Wavy hair
>Green or brown eyes
>Younger than me
>Don't talk to exes or have orbiting "guy friends"
>Shares at least one major hobby of mine and respects the others(tabletop games, hiking/camping, history, and 80's/90's animu are my top hobbies)
>Realizes that Bashar al-Assad is a hero fighting to protect Syrians of all religions from Zionist and Saudi aggression

Me, but female. Actually fuck it, just give me a clone of myself and I'll go gay

>male (gay)
>average height
>not morbidly obese
>white
>mid 20s
>likes a few of the same things I do
>willing to put up with my lazy/passive nature

>>37374136
I just want someone who acknowledges my existence and has a conversation with me from time to time. Maybe even gives me some physical contact every now and then. It's been so long I can barely talk anymore.

>Age 25-35
>5'8 - 6'0
>large hips
>Northern European descent(like me)
>blue eyes(like me)
>C cups or bigger
>has a strong maternal side
>sweet
>Doesnt have too many friends
>strongly prefers 1-on-1 time
>dresses modestly

>>37374136
Her favorite anime is unironically Dragonball Z, and she's an honest fan.

That's all I need. Everything else will follow naturally.