ITT: We post unbelievable true facts about ourselves >I own

>When walking home from school one time I saw a bird, he flew up onto my shoulder and didn't leave. I walked near all the way home with my little bird friend until I let him go at a nearby park. No one was around to see it, so my family and friends don't believe me.

>don't have any unbelievable true facts about myself

>>37367866
That's actually pretty amazing. What kind of bird was it?
Also
>I'm married

>>37367817
You just buried the lead on us, didnt you?

>ive had music on cartoon network

not unbelievable honestly

>>37367817
>was permanently excluded from fighting
>have horrible luck
>wasn't aborted when i was a kid
those 3 are unbelievable facts about myself.

>>37367817
>i killed my friend in 2nd grade

So you're just gonna put that there and not tell us what happened

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>spoken with a time traveler
>spoken with irl John Constantine

I think I'm mentally ill guys

>ancestor was a baron serving the king of Russia before the commies took over
Now we are normies. I wuz kangz...

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I just realized that it's 100 times more unbelievable to meet Chris Chan than Donald Trump. Weird.

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>>37367989
>I've met both Donald Trump and Chris Chan in person
CWC is known to be extremely reclusive, I guess that's just "seen" him. Unless of course you were one of the inner circle trolls or the Magical Man.

>>37367817
>a ghost yelled "85" at me before fucking around with my sister
>ive been trapped in a fridge
>held a world record on a game with 4 million other players

>>37367817
>>37368232
also I once went 11 days without shitting. it was because I went on a cruise and I only poop on my own toilet

>I have one degrees of separation from Emperor Pilaf

>Own world's most complete collection of merch for a specific band
>Eyes are different colors
>Ex-pro Guitar Hero player

>>37367817
>immune to anemia (due to my father's haemochromatosis)
>met the love of my life in high school and we're still together

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>I almost died choking on a hot dog way back when I was in Elementary School and I tried to tell my who was sitting next to me using that I was choking using the Universal Choking sign but for some reason he started patting my back and his incompetence made me laugh internally causing me to expel air through my windpipe and spitting the sausage back out into my mouth

Not really that unbelievable of a fact but whenever I've told somebody they don't believe me because they find it hard to believe that as a child i could laugh when faced with death but I still remember my thoughts at that moment and they weren't "oh shit I'm going to die" it was more like "oh shit I'm going to make a scene and everyone is gonna laugh at me when my teachers do the heimlich on me"

>only one in family to fail and drop out of college
>Only one in family to be a somewhat decent autodidact
>Once masturbated 8 times in a row.

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>>37367817
I'm an autistic savant with multiple-synesthesia. You know that obnoxious bragging pasta about how the poster has a high IQ and perfect pitch and shit? That's actually basically me.

>>37367817
>I accidentally killed my best friend in 2nd grade
That deserves a greentext if you're okay with it.

>>37368232
>held a world record on a game with 4 million other players
Which game?

>>37368363
Pics?

>>37368159
I loved in the same town as him for a while and ran into "her" at the mall. I asked about her personal life and she seemed pretty pissed

>>37368557
Which store was "she" at? Definitely not Gamestop after what happened.

>>37368539
mad skills mx 2, an ok phone game from a few years ago

>>37367817
I work at Valve and leak info on /v/ and /vg/ all the time

I'm an acquaintance of Eric Trump and I used to regularly see and talk with Donald before the campaign.

>>37367817
>I met a handful of rappers including gucci mane, chief keef, future, and young thug

They look bigger in person especially gucci and future. Damn giants.

>>37368159
He's only recently become super reclusive. He used to go to the mall all the time and also sit around with his girlfriend wanted sign.

>i paid for porn
>i have friends
>i enjoy spending time with family

>>37369012
Enjoy getting fired.

I saw the greatest freak out ever kid in the Bahamas three days before he made video #20.

I wish I had gotten a picture ....its one of my greatest regrets.

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>I died, went to Heaven and saw Jesus Christ
>I've seen a ghost IRL
>I saw Noah's arc above the Sun, it was made out of light and laying on water that was also made out of light in the middle of the Grand Canyon on a bright sunny day
>I won a nation wide Gatorade promotion to meet Michael Jordan in the 90's as a kid but nobody helped me ship the proof of purchase and the bottle cap so I never claimed the prize
>I also won a million dollar Oreo contest but my sister ate the dollar sign Oreo
>I won something on the G4 show called Free Stuff, my name appeared, I got an email from them and they shipped me a really shitty camcorder that I never used
>I'm 5'5 and lost my virginity to a girl at 12 years old

Each and every single one of them is all true.

>>37369184
Been trying for the past 12 years.

>I've never drunk coffee in my life (and I'm 22).

I think that's probably the most surprising thing about me, everything else I can think of is rather vain.

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I dream with things that later happens exactly how I dreamed.
Like seeing the future.

I don't know if I'm just crazy, I'm the schizo from the other thread.

>>37367817
Maybe I'm crazy...
1
>When I was five, I grew to be scared of existing to such a point for a moment everything blacked out and saw an old balding man with a beard (grey) just his head floating, (it was the day at the time in my room with sun light pouring in, was) he gives me some weird blue glowing thing and told me not to worry.

Ever since then and until now I get random glimpses of my future. When I see it and experience what I saw when it happens, I get a comfortable cold tingling in my head and body. I feel blown back at how easily everything could've been better.

2
>Around 15 years old
>pass by a church around 3 am
>hear a choir him
>try to take peek through stained glass and making out figures in robes with dim candles and all of them in a circle.
>freak the fuck out silently when I hear some thing weird and run to work

3 (something normal)
>I started the "carrots are good for your eyes" meme when I was in high school, I shit you not.

>>37369012
How bad is it really?

I isolate myself from the outside world and then wonder why I'm so depressed and lonely all the time

can you believe it?

>>37367995
You can't just say that and not greentext a story

>>37369276
>I also won a million dollar Oreo contest but my sister ate the dollar sign Oreo

The way those contests work is that there's always a paper in there that confirms it in the packaging. This is just an especially dumb lie

mom was on SNL and in original ghostbusters

>be me drinking in a little bar in my hometown in switzerland once minding my own business
>A guy comes running in screaming who want to see Kanye West perform live, you're all invited
>Get into a room with maybe 100 people, Kanye West does a performace
>Have to line up and shake his hand afterwards

It was kind of awkward. also lol'd at my female friend who was with me and hates Kanye and refused to shake his hand.

>>37367817
i'm a midly famous musician, I DJ on some festivals like lollapalooza, but i'm no big name

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>>37367905
>>I'm married

Original

>the only reason I was born was because my parents second child died
>I once ate over 10 servings of instant noodles and passed out when I was a kid
>growing up I never had any positive relationships with people my own age
>I almost fell out of an amusement park ride when I was a kid and have been terrified of them ever since

>>37369324

I'm >>37369276

and have that happen several times throughout my life. I'll dream about doing X in Y at Z time and not too long after, it happens exactly as I dreamed it. Shit's spooky if I'm being honest, feels like we have no free will or say in anything, as if everything is predetermined which would suck.

>>37369426
>The way those contests work is that there's always a paper in there that confirms it in the packaging. This is just an especially dumb lie

I was 8 years old, I'm pretty sure the packaging in the 90's bottom was clear so if there was a paper in there, everyone would see it, I don't remember seeing a paper in there and after my sister ate the dollar sign oreo, I was sent to my room for punching her and making her cry.

>I have diplomatically represented my country on the world stage
>My dog found the butchered remains of a person from a very high profile murder case

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>>37367817
I've been using 4chan since I was 12 and I'm currently 25.

>37369324
confirmation bias. think of all the times a dream you had didnt come true.
plus theres a chance you subconsciously tweak details in your memory of the dream to make it match the real event in order to feed your fantasy of being psychic.

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>I never once won a trophy or award of any description
Not even a certificate of distinction or anything

>>37368232
how can that be a fact when ghosts don't exist idiot

>>37367905
Dunno, but I'm sure it was domesticated

>>37369535
I'm like you? we are crazy af

I should kysmyself

>>37369583
Same. I've never won a damn thing in my life.

Original post unoriginally

>I could of been a professional soccer player but I developed mental health issues and started abusing drugs

It's fucking bullshit.

>>37369583
>>37369647

You fags never won those easy as fuck carnival gold fish? Free food?

>>37369628

I'm sane, all things considered. I knew nobody would believe me but it's all true.

I won a gold PlayStation 4 from taco Bell, does that count

>>37369739

You son of a bitch, do you know how much diarrhea I endured trying to win the Gold PS4 and Knack PS4 bundle? I didn't win jack shit

>I like penis but not the man would never use a gloryhole in real because of std risks, once used a hotdog as blowjob dildo, I was sick so my head hurt and my mouth tasted like hotdog

Also afraid to cum on my face, I wuss out and aim somewhere else at the last second

>>37369688
Rarely went to a carnival, when I did still didn't win a damn thing.

>My grandma lived next door to Homer Hickam.

>My great aunt was a secretary to SCAP during American occupation of Japan.

> None of my extended family wants anything to do with my immediate family because my dad is an autistic redneck.

>>37369910
Lol stupid nigger

>One of my grandads was a Paratrooper and part of the 6th Airborne who were the first allied troops to land in France. Fought at Pegasus Bridge. He will be portrayed in the upcoming film about the battle.
>Grandad on other side was also a paratrooper and was part of the first ever parachute operation the British did which happened in Italy I believe.

Somehow despite these tough as nails grandads I ended up a little faggot.

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>I've done meth, heroin, and pretty much every other street drug other than crack.
>fucked my best friend and his girlfriend, sucked his cock too.
>touched my mother's ass in her sleep
>molested a handful of other women in their sleep
>raped a girl (she said no, but I kept going then she didn't say no again. She was wasted though and I took advantage of that. Feel however you want about this one).
>My family are very, very wealthy from a traveling carnival enterprise.
>kicked a dog once :(

>>37369660
I may or may not know you

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I have a 1942 nazi coffee mug(best quality and comfort ever)
And... That's it. And even mug probably isn't that rare.

>>37367817
In my 18 years of living, I've never liked this shitty Earth, not once.
Not even sure if I've ever felt happiness.

How's that for a fact, eh?

>masturbated inside the NSA

My greatest achievement?

>1 degree of separation from Bam Margera
>Accomplished musician
>Experienced Traveller
>Met Obama
>Worked on a video game with a famous author

My family is in a book about the 50 most influential african american families

>>37370615
holy shit, do they own a grape now & later factory?

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>>37370707
I don't even know what makes them influential really. There's one guy who's kind of a footnote of the American revolution, you can google him, but besides that I don't even know

>>37370610
What kind of music do you play/make

>>37370781
>Be historian
>Look up influential niggers to get cash money $$$ for book idea
>Can't find more than ten
>Add 40 random monkeys to the list
>Profit

>>37370808
Garage punk. I toured the entire usa and it's how I developed overlapping friend circles with Bam

>>37367817
>Uncle is a movie star
Yeah. That's all I have.

>>37367930
That's actually really cool Anon, well done.

>>37370610
you're one of the guys from blood hound gang if so siqqq tunes brah nohomo

>>37370823
Well not many people can be important, I know I'm not. But at least that one guy was notable enough to be somewhat remembered

>>37370843
Wow that's cool. How long have you guys been touring and stuff?

>have a third cousin once removed who is an internationally famous pop star (above 100 million record sales)

>never once been to anywhere west of the Mississippi River as a natural born US citizen

I've been to five countries in Europe, one cruise around the eastern Caribbean, most of the eastern time zone states/some of the central time zone states including Illinois and Michigan (spent a week in Chicago) along with Ontario/Toronto, and lived in three different states for over a year. My brother lives in California, but I've never went to see him there because he comes back here for Christmas

>>37369497
Pogo? I don't know if he's ever played Lollapalooza but deep down I hope Pogo is a r9k lurker so this is some wishful guessing

>I'm by all measures a Chad, successful in life and with women
>I still post on /r9k/

>>37370088
Whyd you touch your mom's ass in her sleep? That weird as fuck man.

>>37369012
Bruno my man you're still here !

>have a voice that is extremely intelligent that sometimes talks to me, in a few instances for days on end, and it has said that I am the Antichrist and a future Nietzschean Overman

I don't see it myself, but I kinda believe it. You could say it's schizophrenia but this voice is far too precise for me to really buy that. As for why I'm here, I dunno. Im a fag that's why okay?

>>37371200
You're definitely severely mentally I'll

>>37371040
>at a time when the board is more full of normo's than ever
these are supposed to be unbelievably true, you astounding faggot

>>37368043
Jewed hard anon. You might at least feel better that you weren't the only one.

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>>37369541

Woah dude same here

holy fuck over half our lives

shit nigger why did you make me realize this

>>37371243
Okay, I'll try to explain. I once had orgasms coursing through my body while the voice was screaming at me like

>YOU ARE A GOD. YOU ARE A GOD

Etc. it's not normal for shit that precise to happen to just shizos but like i said, I don't really see it anyways though I guess it's possible

>>37370088
This cunt deserves the most agonizing death. Fuck you for kicking that dog, he had ferling feelings you gutless cretin

>>37371040
FUCKING NORMIE! GET THE FUCKKKK OUT OF MY BOARD, YOU ARE NOT FUCKING WANTED HERE, REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>37369343
You didn't start the carrots mean dipshit. British officials did in ww2 for agricultural purposes. Look it up.

>>37371308

You're now making excuses for yourself

it might not just be schitzophrenia, bipolar people often feel lik they are special in some way and have amazing powers or abilities

I have a medicated bipolar ex who believes she can read thoughts, and I take karate with a bipolar schitzo guy who thinks if he gets good enough he can literally shoot energy blasts out of his hand

not to mention the obvious megalomania. that's likely your real problem.

>>37371308
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5_-HnVhKlw

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>>37369343

>TFW I started the chicken tendies meme and nobody will fucking believe me but I laugh my ass off whenever I see people tendieposting

>>37371476
>Tfw I literally created human memory and no one believes me

>>37371432
I don't get it. It's not about my beliefs, I don't even really believe it that much, and won't until I see it. I'm taking about the experience which is superbly unusual, and I've had others like it. I've been in hospital and my friends in there understood far too much about my thoughts. They told me nonsensical shit that matched some metaphor I made up long ago and believed in perfectly, as if God was guiding them. And this kind of shit happened over and over in there. I might just be making it up, but you could open your mind to the fact that there is maybe a "Devil" just fucking with me or whatever. I myself have really learned to open my mind to new ideas through these experiences

>>37371308
>It's not normal for schizos to experience this
Actually, it is. Congratulations you're mentally disabled on top of being mentally disabled

>>37371543
That kind of orgasmic pleasure normally comes through meditation, or killing someone. Through meditation it's very rare too. I severely doubt that ever happened to anyone else

>i have seen a dimension travelling creature
i swear im not insane. while i was walking to school i saw some flying creature graze the side of a tree so hard and quick some of the bark exploded off. i thought it was a really fast bird at first but it disappeared a split second after it made contact with the tree

>>37371575
You sound like your iq is pinned in the mid 90s friend

>I was responsible for the official designation of three separate worlds for specific activities on runescape prior to RS3 (ZMI world, fishing trawler world, and barbarian assault world).
>When I was 19 years old I got away with getting paid to do nothing for an entire 8 months until I had to go back to school. I tricked my boss into thinking I kept on running into 'networking issues' whenever I was updating the servers. I made $12,000 and wrote less than 100 lines of code.
>I wrote a javascript library 5 years ago that's been downloaded more than a million times.
>I created derivative of the poker face meme that became mildly popular.

>>37367817
>rolled my car over and landed on wheels and drove it home.
>been to Japan twice
>just a year away from wizard status
>fled an accident/crime scene 3 times
>had my butt grabbed by random middleaged women on 2 separate occasions

Weird life.

one time I said "fuck you karma you don't exist" and the very same night my mom's car got crushed by a tree that got struck by lightning.

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>>37371509

I do.

I remember when you did that thanks to you.

>>37371536
>>37371536

You sound like kind of a narcissist or a megalomaniac. You're probably in denial about a lot of mental health issues. I've had crazy coincidences that involved a close friend "taking the words right out of my mouth" so to speak. Doesn't mean we're communicating via ESP, it means he just knows me pretty well. The same ex I told you about? She was convinced we could read each others thoughts because I cold predict what she was going to say before she said/ texted it to me. I would fuck with her by typing up a text WORD FOR WORD in quotation marks during an argument over the phone. she would then send her text to me at the same time I sent mine to her.

I couldn't read her mind, I just knew what she was going to say before she said it because she was so predictable.

>I might just be making it up

nigger you definitely are

>you could open your mind to the fact that there is maybe a "Devil" just fucking with me

I think the devil is you, and you are sort of right because I'm guessing you're the kind of guy who causes your own problems and problems for others because why else would you be here on this board?

everyone has a part of themselves that they would consider evil, but don't blame a supernatural diety for your behaviors, I mean come on, it's delusional and self-centered to think that out of all people the devil and god have time for YOU and want to use ANON as their eternal battleground.

Look up how big the universe is and tell me god has time for your shit

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>>37371590
>someone 30 miles away shot a gun in the air
>bullet came soaring down at a relatively slow velocity near you
>smacked the tree and disintegrated on impact

>>37371686
>rolled my car over and landed on wheels and drove it home
>fled an accident/crime scene 3 times

damn nigga learn to drive

bet you have a great ass though

>>37371590
>I swear I'm not insane
Every insane person says this though

>>37371638
>I got away with getting paid to do nothing for an entire 8 months
what did you do to pass the time?

>>37371590
I love how people make the wildest extrapolations in explaining events they barely had the chance to process.

>>37367817
>raised squirrels during my childhood
>despite having been a shut-in all my life i've had a small sexual career even going as far as having 2 gf's simultaneously
>i'm pretty damn smart but in a clever way not a mathematic way which actually sucks
>i make around 4-5 times average annual income
>i've been in and won so many knife fights i've lost count
>i own a $6k leather trench coat i bought using my own dosh at age 16. It looks exactly like every other leather trench coat and i've only worn it 4 times before stowing it away for the past 8 years
>i skydive from time to time
>despite all of this my anxiety and depression have gotten worse over the years, my ocd hasn't gone away so going to bed is still a meticulous hours long endeavor, and i actively panic in about 50% of social situations

>>37371717
You miss the point of God pal. He has time for everyone, even you or me. I know it doesn't seem like it when he doesn't answer prayers or whatever. In any case, even scriptures tell of this time taking place on Earth, so SOMEONE has to do it, and the Devil or God or whatever will have to have time for that someone, even if the universe is much bigger than Earth. Well, anyways, I dunno what I expected. My experiences are too hard to translate. I am just bored so I posted this.

>>37371718
i live in a big city, i think anyone would have shot a gun in the air. i saw the things silhouette (for the lack of a better term) too, it was about the size of a hummingbird
>>37371770
ive had no delusions since and i saw the scar on the tree, i even jumped when i heard it make contact :'(

>>37371811

I browsed /v/ and reddit, before /pol/ was a thing. Also I was really into the Mises Institute because I was in my edgy ancap phase, so I watched a bunch of lectures on youtube from them too.

I actually wanted to work but was a supreme lazy asshole. I'm pretty sure my boss figured out that I was doing nothing in the first month but was way too nice to fire me (he was a friend of my moms and I guess he didn't want to sour the relationship).

7 years later I still cringe thinking about it. I basically robbed the guy.

>>37369276
m8, Noah's arc is just an embellishment of a normal historical flooding. It's not actually a thing that God did, just a story the Jews attributed to him.

>>37371834

>i own a $6k leather trench coat

What the fuck haha. Was it made of gold?

I am, objectively, a gentleman and a scholar

>>37371947
Not-cheap leather, furlined, and tailored.

>>37372003

I cannot fathom how someone could throw away so much money on something so vapid. I hope you are a better man than your 16 year old self.

>>37371836
>You miss the point of God pal
>I know it doesn't seem like it when he doesn't answer prayers
>scriptures tell
>SOMEONE has to do it

yeah, and you're the chosen one right?

DO YOU NOT SEE THE CLEAR SIGNS OF THE MEGALOMANIA AND NARCISSISM AND DELUSIONS

dude, religion is fine, but it gets dangerous when people start spouting this "god's chosen people" thing. I'm noticing you capitalize the G in god and the D in devil like they're both equally important. Not sure what that means but you're basically not monotheistic at this point.

I know some christians like you. the guy I take karate with actually, who is a diagnosed bipolar schizophrenic. Always thinks the angels and demons are invisibly fighting around him in some Constantine-esque shadow realm. It makes him paranoid, it makes him delusional, and it makes him think he is literally Michael the Archangel.

In reality, he is one of the most dangerous people I know. He stockpiles guns to a really freaky degree even though he's a felon and buys them illegally and shouldnt have them. He acts like a sociopath even though he's ultra religious.

Not shilling for atheism or being a fedorafag because honestly, jury is out on the debate and I can't disprove you. But I would suggest maybe distancing yourself from religion for awhile and see if you stop having these thoughts.

My dad used to bet me ten bucks I couldn't read Harry Potter books in one day. I would get them the day they came out and read them RELIGIOUSLY and as fast and as hard as I could. I would think it was real and that wizards and witches existed for like 24 hours because you cant read 500 pages of shit and have it not sink in a little bit.

You really do need a hiatus. Stop going to church for like a month and do something else besides read the bible. You're seriously defending your position when it's 99% likely that I'm right and you're wrong and that scares me.

Or maybe I am in fact the devil trying to make you stray from god

>>37372093
It's because they're nouns you fucking git. Didn't read rest

>>37372081
Vastly. I was a shit eater back then and wanted to flaunt drug money. I got called a nerd cause it was back during the time everybody at my school thought dusters and the like were cool. Instantly made me regret it and hide it out of shame.

>thread goes from unbelievable fact to mundane to normalfags humblebragging

Like clockwork

>>37372158
>Humblebrag
I don't understand reddit phrases

>>37367817
>I dubbed to dutch a bunch of cartoon characters for CN a few years ago
>I was a background person with no script or spotlight in some Disney real life movies

>>37371834

I'm just picturing a fat dude with a trenchcoat skydiving and knife fighting

you're like a lame ass jason statham

oh man i think i might know you IRL

>>37372177
Probably should stop spending so much time there then, seems dumb of you.

>>37372128

>using proper nouns for your imaginary friends

serious lels

read the rest if you have so much faith in your delusions, prick

bet youre scared im right and that youre a nut who has spent half his life praying to what essentially amounts to James bond or sherlock holmes or shrek

>>37372275
Actually that wasn't me lol. I'm just done posting for tonight

>>37367817
Which part of Virgina are you from? Jk I already know

>>37369012
>valve
So new steam features nobody gives a shit about and TF2 hats?
If you're not lying just tell your bosses to make HL3 already, for fuck's sake.

>>37372222
I actually was insanely fat when i wore the coat and everybody wore fedora's they were actually cool then.
>might know me IRL
unless you remember me from highschool or something that's very unlikely.

>>37369660
My dad has a friend whom was an exceptional soccer player that got contract offers and trials from the biggest teams in the country but continually turned them down cause he was a drunkard and pothead. Some 30 years later he is working as a garbageman.

>>37371323
Queer

Oregifaggot

>>37372496
>Insanely fat
>Two gfs at once

Kill me

>>37372749
That bit was later after i was skinny and surgery awayed the FUPA and saggy bits.

>never eaten oranges, rice, eggs, fish and many another common foodstuffs
>never drank coffee
>got hit by a taxi in greece on vacation while drunk, was fine the next day
>the majority of the people who i went to high school with are convincedi killed myself because of a rumour that spread a year or two after we graduated

>>37367866
>tfw no bird buddy

Life is not fair

>>37367817
> i got wrapped up in the drug dealing buisness
>my boss was friends with a billionare 22 year old
>one day billionare just dissapears
>used to hear stories from other people that my boss was a fucking crazy motger fucker
>would beat people into shape if they lied to him
>with a lead pipe, or by cutting a hole in your palm
>he was a 15 year old asian kid
>that billionare was the only reason we were making good profit before hand
>skittiah because the guys spyche was visibly weak and unstable
>get mugged and have lots of drugs i was supposed to sell stolen
>he got really pissed
>basically told me to give him whatever money i made that week to him and the ipad he gave me as a gift once
>successfully get out of the drug dealing buissness
>was really bad at it anyway
>end up going through cocaine, fetanoyl, xanax, and meth withdrawal for a little over a year

This is just a basic recap alot of crazy shit went on that year, but shit my life was like a movie for awhile it was fucking exhausting.
I was so stressed about selling stuff on time that the money and drugs i got from the whole thing wasnt worth it.

>>37371894
i live in a large city too, you'd be surprised how many unknown discharges happen daily, reports of rifle fire ect. just listening to your local broadcastify.
it's extremely unlikely but not impossible. doesn't even -have- to be a round either, could have been any number of vaguely explainable objects traveling over a long distance

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Not unbelievable by any stretch but I own at least 3000 CDs, almost all of which is music from the 50's, 60's, and 70's. My collection has cost me at least $30,000. Pic is just one small portion.

24 year old virgin if that's any surprise.

>I've done cocaine with both our country's minister of foreign affairs and the opposition leader

>>37373249

How could he be a billionare at 22, even if he was very successful?

>>37368232
>held a world record on a game with 4 million other players

speedrunning doesn't count

I'm related to js Bach, but I'm trash at playing music

>>37373354
Nice
I eventually want a collection like that but for movies

>>37373443
Sorry for the late reply
His parents are the billionares.
He told me they just wire him money every month.
He was an ok guy for a morphine addict.
Ill give you a hint.
His parents are rich but they are of russian lineage, the sons first name was Phillip.
Rip in piece rich goy.

>>37373667
How long ago was this? I used to go to St Tropez with a Russian dude named Philip like four years ago, his parents were filthy rich too.

I learnt how to socialise and how to act in social situations by watching Seinfeld.

>such a robot I have nothing interesting to post in this thread

>>37367817
i may be the incarnation of satan the devil

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>>37367817
I'm extremely artistically talented, I've won several debate and music trophies had multiple friends in high school and a gf, I'm still a virgin and my parents stopped me from taking a scholarship because "music and art are dead end", I'm the only true robot.

>>37370088
I could care less about the rape but why did you kick a dog? Fuckin faggot

> I run my business and subcontract handling confidential docs for big pharma
> I was born with a rare and severe heart condition, get neetbux for it.
> I collect watches (any price point)
> I am considered one of the best photographers in my area
> I write music, some of which can be found on various online music outlets
> I have friends at government
> A well known Greek politician (female) developed an online crush on me and started sending me expensive presents but never wanted to meet IRL because she wanted to be discreet...

>I have over 65k views on a youtube video
can't think of anything else really

>>37367817
>I'm a very good shot, but I don't own a gun

I used to shoot with my grandpa when I was young, but my parents were very liberal and decided that the most I could shoot was a bb gun after finding out that I had shot real guns. He said I was an amazing shot. I want to get my own gun now, but I know little to nothing about guns, gun maintenance, or what ammo I should get. I wish I grew up in a gun loving family.

That's the most interesting fact I have about myself. Everything else is pretty boring.

>>37367817
At one point i had 3 trannies living in my room and sharing my bed, and up to 4 in an apartment at once

>>37374371
Are they sexy ?

>>37374448
Only one was

>>37367866
Should have kept your bird friend, anon.

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I got into Cambridge University
I have 2500 hours on a single game over a 2 year period
That's it

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>>37367817
My brother auditioned for the part of Harry Potter and lost out to Daniel Radcliffe

>>37369276
>I died, went to Heaven and saw Jesus Christ
What does he look like, are the portraits accurate?

>>37370442
Pic of the mug please?

> Im not a descendant of a hungarian refugee from the 1956 revolt despite me having hungarian heritage
> A kid in my school is the descendant of the dude who pressed the button to drop the atomic bomb on Japan and when confronted about it by my history teacher, he said "I knew he did something."

>when I was in 6th grade, I found a baby crow on the ground at school
>he had fallen out of his nest, so I asked a friend to go get a box
>meanwhile I picked it up, its mother attacked me though and I had to run like the wind not to get pecked in the eyes
>I brought it back home and nursed it back to health with a mix of milk bread and egg, the only kind of stew that the crow liked
>Eventually grew up to be an adult and by then he was so fucking smart and trusting he wouldn't let anyone near him but me
>He'd sit on my arm quietly
>I taught him how to fly by throwing him from increasing heights
>He eventually was able to make his nest in the park across the street and he'd come visit and ask for food
>I named him Nestor

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You're all like little babies, watch this
>fingered a dog once
>fucked my sister on numerous occasions
>sleep-raped several women
>never studied, just breezed through school thanks to my supreme autism and my habit of reading wikipedia articles on shit like neutron stars FOR FUN
>choked someone near-death in elementary
>began drinking at 13 (as in downing bottles, not stealing a sip from grandpa)
>spent all my savings on weed, because LMAO, DUDE, WEED.
>clocked in 50k hours on steam during my worst gaming year
>would hunt down and beat people I hated with a baseball bat on several occasions
>arrested 3 times, jail none

and the most amazing of them all?

I'm now a completely healthy, fit member of society currently studing physics at uni, have a gf of 3 years (yes, she was the one who "saved" me) and I'm nearing 3pl8 in the bench...


It's never too late robots!
>I also regret nothing

>>37373382
Which country? Originellio

>>37374771
You were like the opposite of a robot. We're timid and invisible to women. I'm scRed to even touch them.

>>37374766
That is so cute
And you'd make a good father I imagine

>>37374810
I'd rather not say. Small European country.

>>37374860
Eastern europe? Im intrested if its mine.

>>37374771
Now that she saved you she'll get bored

Better step up your game, man up and become a wreck again

>>37374771
50000 hours is 5.7 years.
therefore, everything you said is void

>>37374956
lmao, 5k, sorry.

>>37369660
i have had the exact same thing. mental health and some long term injuries on both knees caused me to stop playing. i played for a youth team of one of the biggest clubs in my country.

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>>37374771
>clocked in 50k hours on steam during my worst gaming year

Thats about 130hours a day

>>37374771
Poat green text about fucking your sister

>>37374876
Not quite. But nearly I guess.

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>>37367817

>I had a book published once but it failed
>I played the voice of sasuke uchiha in the naruto dub of my language
>I have a closet full of matrix merch
>I have all volumes of the welcome to the NHK manga including the novel and the full series DVD
>I was interviewed on the radio once

>>37372212
which characters did you dub on CN?

>>37375132
>played the voice of sasuke uchiha in the naruto dub of my language
Shit, nigga, that's cool. What language?

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>>37375207
He's not gonna say otherwise you could look up the credits and find out who he is

>>37375207

I can't tell out of fear for my privacy, but not a major language. I live in a pretty far-away obscure country.

I only got the part because my dad was friends with the producer and got replaced mid-series anyway. I did some other dubs for live-action series but nothing major ever since.

>>37375207
afrikaans
>>37375236
Try it they only ever list english and jap VA's.

>>37375264
Still, that's really cool, Sasuke, you edgelord.

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>>37367817
>born completely average and able to effortlessly blend into the woodwork
>when aporoached, to autistic to make friends
>cursed with fucking autism
>cursed with no chin
>i unironically like chicken tenders

>>37375352
Okay real talk: i think EVERYONE likes chicken tenders just like everyone likes macaroni they just consider it a "child" food which makes no fucking sense.

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>>37368363
hey look, a fucking edgelord

>>37375390
They're boring. There are great tenders and shit ones, and once you've had both kinds you've had them all. It is a complete WASTE to order chicken tenders at a restaurant.

>>37375132
Care to hook me up with merch?

>>37368539
Have you actually done anything with your talent?

>>37368446
Holy kek you are literally me
Origarinalolicon

>>37367817

>>37367989
Precisely this. How did that happen? Accident?

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>I was molested by a japanese guy in a club on new years
>I was stalked by moot who took a picture of me and posted it on 4chan
>I was once surrounded by 8-10 people from /jp/ as I crossdressed

all these things took place in the space of a week too

>>37375830
Post the pic then mate.

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>>37375030
>be kids
>I'd get a boner early
>we slept in the same room
>often fooled around because thats what siblings do
>one particulary steamy, naked session of making out and fondling eachother (mind you we were 6 & 7 years old)
>decide to try and touch genitals
>we do
>kiss like crazy and stick it in a bit
>obviously neither of us cums and we both get scared we're both pregnant now
>over the years this evolves into full out ballslapping unprotected cumming into her
>when we're 15 & 16 we'd fuck eachother every chance we got
>both of us start school late that day and parents left for work? cum inside her 3 times in the shower and lick her till she passes out
>we're out walking togheter, going to the shop or whatever? playfully drag her into the forrest and practically rape her senseless while shes laughing
>sometimes we even did it with our parents at home
>she'd moan sometimes, and other times the slaps would get a little too loud, but we were never caught
>she gets a boyfriend to "act normal", but she never lets him fuck her, tells him she's staying a virgin until the wedding
>all the while I'm cumming in her mouth, pussy and ass every day given the opportunity
>eventually I have to move because studies and shit
>we're both "married" now... living togheter with someone else? You know what I mean, I'm good at english, but it's not my first language
>anyways
>still fuck eachothers brains out whenever we meet

How's that for some sibling incest, eh?

>>37375900
it's a 5/6 year old image that moot took at comiket

/jp/ anons were waiting by the big saw for the yearly meet and moot stood at the railings above and took a pic, then disappeared back into the crowd before anyone saw him.

I'm sure it's floating in the archive somewhere

>>37370343
You could say that about literally anyone haha. What country are you from?

>>37369343
>Ever since then and until now I get random glimpses of my future. When I see it and experience what I saw when it happens, I get a comfortable cold tingling in my head and body.

You're possessed by a djinn.

>>37375923
That's.... disgusting dude....

>plz more

>>37375923
Is she attractive? How do you parents not know?

>>37376197
She's a solid 9/10 (with makeup ofcourse)
I don't know how they don't know, but we were always very careful not to make too much noise

>>37369343
>Ever since then and until now I get random glimpses of my future
I get those, too. Used to freak the fuck out of me, but now I'm used to it.

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I looked through this whole thread thinking about interesting stories I could talk about but then I realized I have none.
I fell off a ski lift on vacation, the employees stopped the lift and a bunch of people got angry.

I broke into my high school a few times and vandalized it, never got caught.

An elderly woman pulled a gun on me and threatened to shoot me.

I swam with and hugged a manatee

>>37375830
>I was once surrounded by 8-10 people from /jp/ as I crossdressed
were they jerking off onto you?

>>37375830
>I was once surrounded by 8-10 people from /jp/ as I crossdressed

Gonna need a story lad.

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>>37367817
>grandma used to work for movies training animals and was also a popular vet
>used to travel the world with her on crazy adventures
>met obama once partying with a drunk secret service agent
>smoked a blunt with snoop dogg once

>>37369537
>I have diplomatically represented my country on the world stage
Story

> i am a mildy successful ambient musician that got memed into popularity by /mu/

When did you meet Trump and how long did you suck his penis?

>>37373354
>Virgin

Who cares man? You got a cool hobby that you clearly enjoy. I don't know why this board is so obsessed with virginity, just relax, there's more to life than sex.

>I met Stephen Merchant in a coffee shop in Bristol the day I was picking up my sister from the airport, no agents or cameras or anything which I came to expect, we literally had a fucking coffee together and talked for ages, one of the most genuine blokes I've ever met

Something followed me for 3 years from St. Paul to Arizona. I still think I see it sometimes. It looks like a horribly mutated bird.

>>37369343
My great great uncle popularised the phrase carrots are good for your eyes when he discovered they actually improve your night vision, you lying cocksucker. He was minister for food in WW2 when it became widespread. He was a war hero in WW1 and won a Nobel Prize, John Boyd Orr, look him up and realise what a pathetic waste of carbon you are.

>>37377839
Lay off the bath salts and sesame street.

I'm technically a German nobleman and inherited several million dollars plus real estate when the only other person with a claim got addicted to bath salts and pissed the holder off. I'm still learning what this whole process entails from grandma. I'm pretty goddamn dense so this will take a while.

>>37374191
>A well known Greek politician (female)

post proof

>>37370442
Would you sell the mug for Bitcoin?

>tfw no interesting stories to tell

>>37368043
Ayy mate. Four or so generations back my ancestors mingled with russian royalty. One of them was a russian general around about ww1. I wonder what they would be thinking if they looked down on us now

>as a kid stabbed a mate in the head with a pencil (he's now a retard)
> used to think that mom was poisoning my food
> Tried to kill parents more than once
> killed several pets and animals
> there was a girl that nobody cared about, I made her think that we were friends to treat her like shit.
I remember that she had this phone and I would take it and dismantle it, hiding the parts everywhere to make her cry
We were in a second floor classroom and I just threw her things out the window. The teachers always throught that she was trying to skip class lol

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> I'm entirely immune to poison ivy
> used to be a pro with animal body language, because of le autismo.
> Stepped on a lightbulb on accident and didn't get hurt.
> Hold the world record score for some forgettable online flash game.
> I once called an eagle by whistling.
> Numerous points throughout my life when should've died.
> was once what turned a lesbian bisexual.

>>37379651
>entirely immune to poison ivy and called an eagle to him
Hey! Another NativeBot!

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>I've seen possessed people with me own eyes.

>>37367817
>tfw there's nothing unbelievable about you

>>37367817
>>37367817

Im a trans boy and I don't do hormones nor surgery because it is harmful and it is unnecessary as a tool to become who you are. Because you already are who you are.

>>37380034
Kill yourself faggot. You are mentally ill.

>>37380052

No, you are retarded.

I was on my nation's u16 football team

i smoked meth with annie clark

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>>37374627
>>37378941
Great amounts of originality involved.

>>37380052
>You are mentally ill.
you think that's gonna offend anyone in this board?

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>middle school age
>go golfing with my dad on weekends
>one time we're waiting to tee off
>group of younger 20-something bro type guys in front of us
>one of them hits the ball
>as the ball sails through the air, it fucking collides with a duck mid flight
>the duck drops straight down onto the fareway
>wtf.jpg
>all the bro guys are flipping their shit
>we all go up to look at the duck
>it's fucking headless
>this guy fucking decapitated a mid-flight duck with a golf ball
by far the most bizarre fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. I don't even bother telling this story to people irl anymore because no one ever believes me.

>>37379756
You're prob just memeing, but I am just a teensy little. What tribe are you?

>>37375923

If you're going to make elaborate stories up on the internet , at least make them believable

I'm a married NEET whose wife earns 130k.

>>37380937
Amskapi pikuni but i live nowhere nearby.

Fun fact: most natives are immune to poison ivy. You probably got that gene.
Secondary fun fact: most raptors respond to a whistle where you make a shrill whistle and cut it off with your tongue fairly quickly. This can end badly.

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>>37369012

Will it happen in our lifetime?

>>37367817
>I have a 33rd degree mason and 2 CIA agents in my family
>I ran drugs in middle school so I could have cool black friends

>>37381175
No HL's dead get over it.

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I used to be one of the best EU warlocks back in WoD.

>>37381034
I'm Choctaw. Not sure which specific clan, but somewhere down the line, my distant family was part of the Trail of Tears that took them from Mississippi to Oklahoma.

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>I remember very little about my life before the 8th grade
>I know that most of the stories in this thread are made up
>I meet up and have unprotected anal sex with Paul Ryan on a biweekly basis

>>37375440
hey look, a fucking summerfag

>>37368291
That is textbook autism right there anon.

>>37381175
Why do you ask anyway?
Valve forgot about freeman 10 years ago
Get over it

>>37367995
r u alan moore

>>37367817
Once in elementary school, I with a group of other boys sat around a round table and started sucking each other off under the table. I don't remember being caught.

>>37369324
Holy shit I do the dream thing too. It might be deja vu and my brain just slips up and makes me think I remembered it, but I don't know. I can't remember having the dream until the event happens. Does any anons have any proof of recording their dreams and experiencing deja vu?

>Been on 4chan since I was 11.
>20 now
>Black
>Normie
>virgin
>Met Pharrell
>do the future dream thing
>Can't fake a black accent
>can do a convincing British/Aussie accent though
>Can only whistle with my tongue and not my lips.

>>37369324
>>37369535
>>37381888
>shit happens at least once a month
>its usually fucking autistic like a string of red cars will pass by, i'll know to count to 20, then a long string of cars i can name the colors of before they arrive, then 5 more seconds of waiting before the light will go green
>pass by the light everyday
>suddenly "know" now is that moment i dreamt about
>cue 6 red cars same make as dream, everything plays out right to the T
>random conversations too
>have verbally counted down or named off cars like the previous sequence with someone in the car eyes closed because they didn't believe me
>only time it was ever useful was avoiding coffee landing in my crotch
>99% sure i'm just crazy

>>37369012
When is the fucking pyro update coming out you nigger. Hire more then 5 people to work on my favorite game for Pete's sake

>>37377772
Half of why I buy music is to fill the void and have something to look forward to

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>>37367817
>i am 23hhkv and still live with my parents
>i left house like 20 times this year
>i am actually pretty good looking
>people half my age will have sex sooner than me
I don't know about you guys but i can't believe it

>>37367817
How do you even know it's a printing error?

>>37382423
Doesn't feel like you aren't in control. I try and "trick" the future sight but I just end up saying the same nonsense as my dream.

>i have a pet raccoon

>>37382610
Nope. It usually is shit i'm just along the ride for. Coffee one was the only one i had any control over and it was just to move my coffee before the barista tripped and her hand passed by where it was.

>>37381209
agreed, black mesa was the only thing left to come out of halflife, and that was fan made.

>>37381175
get out of here normie faggot

>have pet raccoon
>have chron's disease
>gotten in a life threating car crash and lived
>got a infection in the scar same year as the car crash
>have a broken wrist that now makes my arm bowed

>>37369343
probably a experience with god

>>37369343
>"carrots are good for your eyes" meme

What? It's common knowledge that Vitamin A is good for eyesight.

>fell out of tree
>from a height that was surely death
>headfirst tumbling to cement
>tree branch moves and catches my untied falling off shoe that i probably tripped on
>about 5 inches from ground
>mom saw whole thing

that near death experience probably kickstarted my future sight and lucid dreaming abillties. also let me realise this world is all my imagination sortof, im probably in purgatory

i wrote a poem for school about the tree once

>I have never worked a day in my life (I'm 25)
>I have never been on a plane
>when I was 21 I gave a drunk pop star a foot massage (she's only known in my country)
>I came without touching my dick because I was on nofap for over a month

>>37382882
Thank you tree.

>>37382867
It actually is a meme in a weird way.
The real deal is that you'd have to eat enough carrots to turn orange before you saw serious benefits.

It actually was a WWII meme the british spread through a propaganda campaign. They claimed carrots gave their soldiers nightvision to help shoot down german aircraft at night to hide the fact it was actually radar doing the work. They even spread it among their own civilians urging them to eat several a day to function in blackouts.
Germany for a good while believed this and made some of their soldiers and pilots quaff the fuckers and only stopped when someone came to the conclusion you might have just had to eat them for years for benefits.

i popularized ironically making fun of xD with xd and xxxdddd by vehemently trolling a popular games boards and chats across multiple accs

also ecks dee is stupid and too far u stupid fucks

also you stupid peruvians xd doesnt mean xp

>>37380908
It knew what it was doing.

>>37368345
https://youtu.be/NDe13n_WpQA

I am the center of expansion.

>>37382933
the animals and plants always seem to look out for me. ive done the same for them, too.

when i was single digits i found a bird caught in a fence
i helped it get out and it let me hold it. a couple months ago a hummingbird, when i was sitting on porch, came to me and flew around my head 3 times squawking at me, was surreal, never seen a critter do anything of the sort before.

now normies on the other hand, relentlessly bullied me then scapegoated me to the point of ptsd suicidal depression and anxiety, just because im an autist

>>37380034
you don't sound trans at all.

Fuck off tumblr faggot.

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>>37367817
The grandfather of my step father was an artist in the surrealism movement.
>tfw he was friends with Pablo Picasso, Dali, Manray, etc... he was a famous as fuck painter.
my actual grandfather used to work for Manray
My father worked on tour as a engineer for bands like Metallica, Iron maiden, Megadeath, ACDC etc...
My father participated in the Winter olympics
My great grandmother got a personal gift from the president of france at the time
I met Hugh Jackman as a wee lad in australia
My grandfather killed a shitton of Nazis in WW2
Jesus i'm such a disappointment to my family. i don't have any of this shit.
All of this is true btw, i couldn't make this shit up if i tried.

>>37367817
I have a scar on my eye. Not just near my eyelid or anything, it's on my actual eyeball. I got it when I was 14 and a spic stabbed me in the eye with a pencil. I had to have 5 micro-stitches put into my eyeball and had to spend a week in the hospital to make sure the wound didn't get infected.

>>37374771
>50k hours
>in a year

Yeah, nah

>ive played two games professionally, one in Korea
>I see people occasionally post my photographs in /comfy/ threads here

>>37371711
shieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet! but in an original way

George Washington is my ancestor. Not direct, obviously, because he didn't have any kids of his own, but he's right there in the family tree.
Sometimes I wonder if he'd be mad at me for being a fuckup.

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Confession :

I steal memes form 4chan and post them on IFUNNY

>>37377644
Fellow ambient musician here. Give name so I can appreciate

>>37377787
Celebs often are more legit and humble than normies. In fact normies mystify them and put them on a pedestal when in fact celebs are simply playing along.

>>37375923
>often fooled around because thats what siblings do
No, tf we dont!

>>37367817
>I once had the opportunity to become a squire
>I am distantly related to Sir Isaac Brock
>I have passed up losing my virginity to a 9/10
>45th best in the world at an online game

>>37377507
>smoked a blunt with snoop dogg onceWas waiting for something related to smoking weed with snoop dogg

>>37383753
That's cute. I also like to think that when I am in nature it and it's inhabitants seem to handle my peaceful presence (unlike normies loud and unrespectful presence) just fine and sometimes welcome it.
I actually worry about creatures not many people think about, like crabs, smaller birds, snails, insects.

In the city it seems it and it's inhabitants conspire to make life as stressful as possible...

>>37384728
thats the goal of the elite, stress us as much as possible to work us as mucha s possible without dysfunction via quitting revolt or other means. we need to let go of the pver zealous aspects and pver cpnsumption. i love tech and idntify myself with it and i still think this

>>37383635
We all are fa.m, haven't you seen that vsauce video?

>>37384222
Post em then sin-pie!

>>37367817
>ive lost my virginity with a girl that wanted me but i didnt like her

>>37384641
>I have passed up losing my virginity to a 9/10
Why?

>>37384191
Post em then fa.m.

>>37369133
>and also sit around with his girlfriend wanted sign.
Everyday i look at myself and think that I am the epitome of failure, then I read posts like this.

>>37369094
How did you meet them? orange

>>37367817
i saw two angels on my parents property. but its 99% a false memory.

uhh. i saw a guy drop a 6' long fluorescent tube light bulb 12' onto a concrete floor. it bounced a bunch of times and landed without breaking. pretty incredible desu.

>>37379557
>used to think that mom was poisoning my food

i thought i was the only one. i once confronted her about it when i was a kid and she got super angry so i was even more convinced she was poisoning my food

>>37381302
>I meet up and have unprotected anal sex with Paul Ryan on a biweekly basis

how big?

>step uncle has a school named after himself in Vegas
>There is underage porn of me on a flash drive on a mountain in Vegas
>I cleaned and drove Nicki minaj's maybach
>I think she was still in the car (curtains were up, couldn't go in the back)
>My disease is so rare ive had doctors write medical journals/papers/w/e on me
>I know the guy who made the world's longest image
>I know one of the chicks in himym, and dated her daughter for like a week
>She was dumb as shit
About it.

>>37367817
>i'm really successful career/academic-wise and I'm part of the 0.1% in my 2nd world country
>I accidentally dropped a piece of sheet metal from a commieblock roof when I was 17 that killed a 3yo boy and nobody found out it was me (it was listed as an freak accident)
>I've masturbated on all airbus passanger aircraft models and almost all boeing ones since 737, aside from 757

>>37374594
London? Asking originally.

>>37367817

>mitchell henderson lived less than 3 miles away from me
>eggman lived in my current city

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im the kind of guy that very fat and/or hideously ugly (4 and below) chicks feel confidant to just walk up to and awkwardly flirt.

its like they KNOW that i can't do better then them.

they know im weak and desperate.

just

>95% of the stories i tell about myself are fake and due to being smart and people not knowing a lot about me, the stories don't get debunked
>i am the "cool" and "social" guy of my group yet im the biggest loser
>im not a robot

>>37386486
>My disease is so rare ive had doctors write
medical journals/papers/w/e on me

that's interesting. what disease?

my brother recently found out he has a rare condition that's had only about 50 known cases in history, and i have it too. i don't believe it's ever been documented as having occurred in immediate family members before, so i'm thinking about going to my GP and telling him so that maybe he can get a paper published on it

>>37367817
I did the opposite OP.

I saved my former best friend from drowning in a well - 7 years old.
That lying sack of shit faggot stabbed me in the back years later.

>>37367817
>I accidentally killed my best friend in 2nd grade
Greentext it.

>>37386874
>95% of the stories i tell about myself are fake and due to being smart and people not knowing a lot about me, the stories don't get debunked
>i am the "cool" and "social" guy of my group yet im the biggest loser
Tune this down to 80% and this is literally me.

>>37384223
I'm decsended directly from John Quincy Adams and then obviously John Adams.

JQA was definitely a robot in his younger years, at least.

>>37367817
I once drop kicked a basketball from full court and swished it.

>>37383055
You make me feel better about myself. That's a fact.

>>37369324
Dude same, do you often forget the thing you predicted after you experience it?

>>37369012
What is the best game Valve ever released and why is it csgo?

>>37369787
Neither did I. Never ate Taco Bell since.

>>37386316
I know the feel bro.

Has anyone ever asked why parents "love" their children? Or why children say to "love" their parents?

>>37368043

same, my grandfather was a russian lord and lost all his lands when the commies took over

yet another reason to hates the thieving kikes

>I saw my (paternal) grandmother's soul leave her body about a week or two before she died, she was a veg after I saw it leave her
>my (maternal) grandfather is a 32nd degree mason
>same grandfather is directly descended from overmountain men of the revolutionary war

>>37373911
>tfw coerced out of majoring in theatre by my parents, peers, and teachers

fuck them. the stage was the only thing that made me happy in high school, what use have i of money if all i do all day is shitpost?

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>walked on a beach completely naked with 2 qts either side of me

>>37371476

i've had this too, can't remember what it was now though, back in school i made up some stupid shit and it apparently spread and is well known meme now.

too long ago though, 20 years ago so i can't remember

FUCK my memory going to shit slowly

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>Bought yaoi for a 16 year old girl
>Never broke a bone/fainted in my life

>>37375679
Shocked this thread is still up.

Not much. For what it's worth, I was really good at spelling bees when I was a kid because of my ticker-tape synesthesia and was even on TV a few times.Generally my talent's just made my life more convenient overall and made it easy to take up hobbies.

That said, I intend to turn my abilities toward a noble end. Right now that means completing my undergrad and getting into medical school. Not a monumental accomplishment, but it's what I've been working toward and it's what I ought to focus on now.

>>37373911

you are a retarded nigger, robots don't have friends or girlfriends

you stupid fucking nig kys

>>37367817
I came up with a really good idea and someone stole it from me and made a ton of money. I don't want to post more details because genuinely no one would believe me, but almost NO ONE knows these feels... Cos I'm a NEET piece of shit with nothing and this guy literally got famous and rich. Fuck life. No one but him and I know the truth.

>>37374478

please post pics, sexy trannys are so hard to find they are a rare creature indeed, i am a hunter of trannys.

>>37374766

i found a crow fledgeling last year, his parents didn't even care to attack me when i picked him up and took him home, it was a little too easy to catch him, realised later his parents had given him up for dead as he had an infection that had gotten to his lungs and he ended up coughing up blood and dieded.

it was hard to notice the bird was indeed sick because they appear to be healthy in the presense of others, i ended up sneaking to catch the crow alone and it's head was drooping and it looked fucked. but as soon as i came in the room and it noticed me it would pretend to perk up.

i guess that's a thing they do to avoid being thrown out of a nest when they are ill.

>>37374771

you are a pathological liar, well done.

>I have been on 4chan since I was 14(2011)
>I'm directly related to the Pilgrim leader Myles Standish
>I met Jim Parsons
>I have seen an oil train explode before my very eyes
>I have flown an aircraft when I was 16
>I actually like Call of Duty

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>i met maddy oreilly when i went to a vaction in la i saw her twice in the elevator- she walked in i was going to shake my hand with her hi her body guard said don't think about it another time i was in the same elveator she said hi i'm maddy oreilly. the body guard said she's a model.

>i met james roots guitar player to slipknot and was stone sour

>>37381207

you and your family are scum, masons are lying pieces of shit and are the greatest enemy

>>37382882

yes 'we' are indeed in purgatory.

we are actually the reanimated corpses of greaters beings, some of which now live in the first heaven, they domed us and our reality is part real, part holographic deception.

i don't know why they do this.

>>37388677

you should kill him desu